I just got a email from my ex saying i should take myself down from egomaniac high horse...and need start realize im not princess in relationship..i just wanted him to treat me well.i know i'm confident woman and that is what makes me strong and help improve myself. i think being positive and confident is really great way to create happy life. Im always trying to keep my strength with me but i know sometimes this could make some people sick. but since i wanted him to be a real man, i said something he didn't really want to hear, but i thought that is good for him.i really liked him so wanted to help him out from what he is suffer from. but he couldn't take that in good way and started attack me...so sad. but i know i am the also person who made him like that. i know im not perfect but i got really shocked when i see what my ex's really thinks.
Now i know we broke up by that email and want to make myself better. please give me advice how to deal with my egomaniac
2007-03-22 19:06:26 · 10 answers · asked by hippieflower 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There is nothing wrong with being confident and protecting your strength. People often say things after a breakup in a retaliatory manner because they want to hurt or bring down the person who has hurt or brought them down.
Sometimes we may observe something about another person that they might not like to hear. At those times tact, timing, gentleness and sense of how much to say and how much to let them figure out on their own is important.
Chalk it up to a lesson learned. Something I've learned in the last 15 years or so is to ASK if my opinion is wanted before I give it. This does two things, it offers the other person a chance to say "no", happens sometimes, and makes it clear that what I am sharing is MY OPINION, not gospel or truth. Maybe MY truth, but not necessarily THE truth.
Don't take his statements to heart - you acted with best intentions. ...Er...I just remembered that 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions"...but that's beside the point...
Truly, his words came from anger and hurt, even if he won't admit that. Next time try to be a little more tactful, but never stop being confident and strong!
2007-03-22 19:17:56 · answer #1 · answered by heart o' gold 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, I'm confident, heck, I'm even a tomboy and have no problem going nose to nose and toe to toe but never once in all my relationships has any guy told me I had an ego.
So that's red flag number 1. Maybe it's him but it sounds like you know you have some issues. It's your flag. Then you say, "I wanted him to be a real man." And we have red flag number 2... definately yours.
The last thing a guy wants to hear from a *woman* is how to be a real man. It implys that he isn't one and it's pretty cruel to hear it from the woman you're involved with. What do you know about being a real man? What does he know about what it takes to be a real woman?
Stop trying to control everything and change people. Take them as you find them and love them as is.
2007-03-22 19:28:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reality check.... this is your EX giving you personality advice?? Since you are no longer in a relationship with him,
a) he has no more right to talk about your personality than a complete stranger would, and
b) he's not qualified to attempt to give you advice because he has already failed to follow his own common sense in sending nasty, spiteful mail, and
c) he doesn't have your best interests in mind when he says such things; he is trying to hurt your feelings and you are letting him do it.
Unless you've got no friends because they all couldn't stand you, or everyone you meet is repulsed by your confidence, then "egomaniac" is not a description that suits you.
2007-03-22 19:12:17 · answer #3 · answered by charmedchiclet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are absolutely wrong. The ego is just another word for consciousness. There is absolutely no concept in psychology as "egomaniac."
2007-03-22 19:10:59 · answer #4 · answered by Phillip 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it IS ok to be a princess in a relationship and you should always insist on that. Men that can't handle that or can't handle women with a good self esteem are insecure little boys
2007-03-22 19:09:18 · answer #5 · answered by Miranda C 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its good to be confident maybe you need to calm it down a lil but also if u dint want too as long as you love yourself and can respect others it don't matter
2007-03-22 19:29:57 · answer #6 · answered by dizzle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think being egotistical is the same thing as being confident.
2007-03-22 19:28:19 · answer #7 · answered by Alwyn C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well maybe you are a little ...... no harm in being self confident but too much is not good
2007-03-22 19:08:29 · answer #8 · answered by asphyxia 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Think of others' feelings before your own.
2007-03-22 19:08:34 · answer #9 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
too much of anything is never good
2007-03-22 19:09:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋