my sis (45) and her daughter (16) fight too often...?

Question

my sis has been divorced 10 yrs now & raises 2 daughters 16&15 yrs. she never, by my observation, treated her older daughter as well as she does the younger one. & now it has started to take its toll.... the older daughter has since joined a gang (dad's pretty much outta the pic) & has experimented w/drugs, the way my sis did (and my niece knows about it). now my sis says very hurtful things in front of and to my niece& vice versa.there is no respect between them and not much kindness. i try to intervene when i can but there's not much i can do (i have my own fam.) my sis doesn't work half the time(for med reasons, she says) and both of my nieces get frustrated that there is not enough $ to buy things teen-girls want. just yesterday, they got into a physical fight and my sis kind of bragged that she "busted her lip" (my1 niece's). they say they don't need therapy and i worry that something much worse will happen if they don't get the help i think they seriously need. what can fam. do?

my niece is a good girl but the relationship between mother & daughter is extremely volitile. but when she is with my family and i, she is a very different person. she is thoughtful, kind and respectful. i've offered her a place to stay but she isn't really ready to settle down and she knows i will not tolerate her "normal" behavior.

Answer 1

Sounds like youve done all you can do. Your niece knows the door is open. Now you need to stay out of it and concentrate on your own family so it does not become dysfunctional like your sis's.

Answer 2

Listen to the song 'Mother of mine' along with your niece.

"Mother of mine, you gave to me / All of my life, to do as I please / I owe everything, I have to you / Mother, sweet mother of mine.
Mother of mine, when I was young/ You showed me the way, things have to be done / Without your love, where would I be / Mother, sweet mother of mine.
Mother, you gave me happiness / Much more than words can say / I pray the Lord that He may bless you / Every night and every day.
Mother of mine, now I have grown / And can walk straight, all of my own / I'd like to give you what you gave to me / Mother, sweet mother of mine."

Hope this may improve as both Mother and Daughter need love and with ur good Samaritan like approach U are the best person to bring a bright change in their life.

Keep it up and God will be by your side.

All the best .

Answer 3

I think that at that age the girl can see the difference as to how she is not being treated the same if she has already busted her lip it will probabely get worse cant she go live with u.