out of control 7 year old please help?

Question

my son is seven he is in the first grade and he was put into in-school suspension for getting mad in gym over a boy taking his ball so he jumped on top of him and banged his head on the floor the other boy was 11 years old the next day he was suspended for one day because he got mad in class and then when they tryed to get him to leave the class he clung to his chair ,they had to pry him out of the chair and it took two teachers to carry him down the hall. what do i do? please don't say spank him because it is illegal here

he has been this way for years but recently he has been missing his dad alot because he keeps giving excuses for why he hasn't been picking him up for visits and i understand that he is angry but i need some suggestions on how to help him control his temper and what he can do to take out his agression

Answer 1

Do not try to solve violence with violence. Spanking him will just reinforce that violence and anger will solve the problem. There isn't anything wrong with him! I would suggest giving him an outlet. Is he involved in any outside activities? Scouts, basketball, etc? Talk to him and tell him you understand he is angry, but you both have to come to an agreement as to what is acceptable. Tell him to tell you what happens in his head when he is angry. Does it just happen or are there triggers that build up to it that could be stopped? I have an anger problem myself, I carried a "worry stone" with me for the longest time. I always had one with me. It is a smooth, flat, polished stone. When I would feel myself getting angry, I would rub it with my thumb, stupid as it sounds, it worked. I am not saying this will work for him, but he needs an outlet for his feelings and to train himself to concentrate on something else when he is starting to feel frustrated. I would suggest a school counselor -- but don't tell him something is wrong with him, because there isn't. Emotions in children are intense, you just have to help them find the best way for them, as an individual, to deal with it.

Answer 2

First of all if your not going to spank then you need to come up with another method of punishment. He has to know that even though he is upset with his dad or whatever else is bothering him , that he cant act this way. He could have hurt another child and that would have been grounds for a lawsuit against you. If he is having trouble then he needs someone to talk things out with. if he wont do it with you then maybe a male relative. Boys are funny and sometimes will open up to a guy better than thier own mom. Also maybe try enrolling him in a sport of some sort. That might help to. I have a 7 yr old who is just downright bitter sometimes but ive found that mostly he just needs some extra attention. One of the punishments im using now...because i dont think spanking helps ....is im taking away things one at a time. I started out with just general toys that he likes then i moved up to the Gameboy then i cut out TV if that doesnt work then my son finds himself setting in a empty bedroom with just books to read. Gives him plenty of time to think. He usually comes around in a few days. Hope this helps.

Answer 3

I don't know where it is illegal to spank, but I would suggest maybe to talk to his school counselor. He is definately acting out on his anger. His counselor should be able to provide a child pshycologist if his is warrented and a lot of medical insurance will at least cover part of the expense. Also, try getting him in a martial arts program. This does not teach fighting. It teaches him focus and control. It also provide a physical outlet for him. One other thing that may help is to find a church youth group for his age. This can really provide someone to talk to and relate to him. I really hope that you can get this resolved before it escalates any further.

Answer 4

OK. your son sounds like he is going through post traumatic stress syndrome. it is very popular in kids that feel like they are rejected by a parent or has been through alot of stress inside the home. You might want to see about seeking him therapy. Right now he wants any type of attention he can get good or bad. I would also sit down with him and talk about what his father is doing and explain that it is not his fault. As for spanking him; it will do no good right now because at this stage he enjoys the pain.

Answer 5

I'd suggest talking with your son, and have him talk to you. Or if he doesn't talk things out well, have him write out his feelings. Explain to him that his behavior is unacceptable and be sure he understands why. If he is acting out from lack of attention, you may want to spend more time devoting yourself to him each day, so that he will not feel forgotten. If you think that simply talking out the problems will not get the job done, and you aren't allowed to spank him, then why don't you have him spank you? I'm not trying to be funny, but think about it. If he knew that after school (if he had misbehaved) that he had to 'hurt' his mother by punishing her for something he did, it my cause him to think twice about his actions throughout the day. This may sound strange, but has some sense to it. You may also want to get him a special pet (if he doesn't already have one) and explain to him that this pet needs someone gentle, loving and kind. Tell him that besides basic care (feeding and cleaning out cage, etc) the animal needs someone who is capable of being self-controled and pleasurable. When he learns there are others involved in his actions besides himself, he may be better able to control his feelings and behavior. :)

Answer 6

I'm not a parent at the moment. I'm pregnant with my first but I can remember when I was younger and I would act out it was usually because something else was bothering me.

If there's something else bothering him then little things will make him angry causing him to snap. Try talking to him not in a lecturing way but in a more understanding way. It gets to a lot of kids more when they see they made mommy sad rather then mad. He might open up to you or he might push you away. Sometimes kids don't even realize something is bothering them.

Answer 7

OMG I can not believe these people on here spank him b/c he is missing his dad wow real good advice guys!

What you should do is talk to him ,explain as much as he will understand he is 7 so he's really too young to comprehend what is going on and why daddy is not there.Also you might want to talk to the school about getting a physiologist in
not to asses him just to see what could be done about the behaviour.

Answer 8

I agree with Becky.

How much time are you spending with him? Do you work alot? He may be taking his anger out on others around him because he is frusterated. Thats usally the obvious case. Ask him how he would feel if someone did it to him. Spend more time with him, treat him with respect but don't let him control you.

Answer 9

DEAR

SCENTS YOU CAN NOT SPANK HIM TREAT HIM LIKE A BABY GO BUY SOME DIAPERS BOTTLES ETC DO THIS FOR ONE WEEK HE WILL GET HIS ACT TOGETHER ALSO BATH HIM AND WHEN HE CRY SAY COME TO MOMMY OK FEED HIM TOO TREAT HIM LIKE A LITTLE

CHILD HE WILL GET HIS LITTLE ACT TOGETHER ALSO DO THIS IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDS KIDS DO TALK IN SCHOOL OK

TAKE CARE

Answer 10

Boy,have you got a problem! you cant tan his hide eh?have you tried a time out? that means you tell your son to sit in a quiet place(not his room) and tell him to be quiet or better yet give him a book to read while hes sequestered in that room and tell him that his attitude better change for the better or youll make him stay ther even longer. rubberstampr