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I'm a Twentysomething. Many of my guy friends are about the same age and single. For a few of them, their lack of a significant other is absolutely unbearable -- and not just on Valentine's Day. These guys are constantly falling in love with women they barely know. One date, two dates, and then they use the "L" word after dessert and a movie.

What are they thinking?
I usually get a distressed phone call or text message a few days later when they can't understand why the woman they've just met (but know for sure they love) is not returning their calls. They've only left 41 messages -- and that's after another 16 hang-ups. Maybe their true love lost her cell phone? No. Maybe the Internet is broken four miles away? No. Maybe they should drive by her house to talk personally? Heck no.

After a few more weeks and a dozen more whiny messages, these relationship-needy guys get the hint -- and so does the girl: stay away from guys who fall in love before the appetizer gets cold.

For the next few weeks, my brokenhearted friends mope around like the world is over. They keep asking themselves why the relationship didn't work out. They thought she was perfect. They thought she would make a great wife. They thought she would make a great mother. Mother! They haven't even met her mother. They haven't spent a Thanksgiving dinner trapped at her parents' house to see what the family is really like. Yet they pine for this goddess of love whose middle name they do not know.

What has led these intelligent Twentysomething men to this position of neediness, clinginess, and recurring heartbreak? A few factors are at work.

Great expectations, instant gratification
Many Twentysomethings have grown up always getting what they want. They got the clothes they want. They got the car they want. They begged for better grades and got those, too. And they're used to getting what they want immediately and on their own terms. They expect to walk into a coffee shop and get their triple-cream-mocha-latte with sprinkles made just for them, with their name written in bold green marker on the side of the cup to prove it. They also get their favorite DVDs delivered directly to their home, their emails forwarded to their phone, and up-to-the-minute weather bulletins displayed on their computer screen. They even have the option to get fresh groceries delivered, but they won't because they can't cook unless Mom helps.

In addition to being raised on instant everything, these consistently head-over-heels-in-love and heartbroken Twentysomethings have huge expectations. The real world hasn't always gone the way they wanted -- instead of making CEO in a year they make 4,000 copies in a day -- but they use their 12 credit cards to fill the self-esteem gap. After all, who needs to buy a red 3 Series BMW with chrome rims when you can lease it?

The one area in particular where these frustrated Twentysomethings have not yielded their expectations is meeting that special someone, falling passionately in love, and spending a lifetime traveling the world while their kid's diapers are changed by a nanny (okay, so maybe that's my dream).

Now add to this mix of high expectations and instant gratification the reality that many Twentysomethings grew up spending little quality time with their parents. Instead, they learned how to have a healthy adult relationship watching a combination of He-Man and HBO. Luckily, their parents have a chance to make up for lost time, since these Twentysomethings still live with them. But mooching off Mom and Dad can only last so long, 35 at the max, which adds to the motivation to find that special someone who knows how to wash underwear without turning it pink. All of which leads back to them rushing into love on the first date and saying so on the third. And why not share the L word while you are in line for lunch at an all-you-can eat $6.99 Chinese buffet? Is anywhere else truly more romantic?

Advice for the lovelorn
Guys, if you're a Twentysomething and consistently heartbroken in three dates or less, here's some advice your friends are probably too nice to give you

2007-03-22 18:11:17 · 4 answers · asked by robert 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

4 answers

I completely agree with the article. I am 27 and in the past 7 years I have been engaged twice, married once, and broken hearted five times. We get so into wanting to be married with kids that we don't care how we get there and who we do it with. That is why the divorce rate is so high.

2007-03-22 18:15:03 · answer #1 · answered by Patrick E 6 · 0 0

How is it that you've got been requested to do homework on a field approximately which - judging out of your questions - you realize definitely not anything ? No connection with it in classes ? No History textbooks ? No college library ? Seems a unusual variety of college !

2016-09-05 12:47:15 · answer #2 · answered by rosebeckjr 4 · 0 0

Tedious article and tedious of you to post it.

2007-03-22 18:14:59 · answer #3 · answered by QueenBean 5 · 0 0

too long, i'll just take your word for it

2007-03-22 18:13:49 · answer #4 · answered by melloncollieromance 3 · 0 0

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