Okay, so three years ago, I dated this guy for a few weeks. It got very emotional and sexual very quickly, instant relationship and intimacy. Everything was going wonderfully, until out of nowhere he breaks up with me. He didn't really give me a reason why (except the whole, it's not you, it's me thing), and everything seemed to be going well, so I got really upset at it. We had mutual friends we both hung out with. I didn't want to make the situation uncomfortable so I just wouldn't really talk to him without talking to me first and I didn't say anything romantic to him. But then, in front of our friends, he'd have these mean, snide remarks he'd make at me out of nowhere (remarks he had never said to me before). I would only be able to take it for so long before I started being snide back, prompting him to say he was just kidding and I should stop being so bitchy and psychotic. Eventually, I just stopped hanging out with him, because I didn't want us to deal with this.
2007-03-22 18:00:25 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
A few months later, he shows up at my doorstep, saying he wants to be friends again. And he wanted to hang out all the time. I call my friends, and they tell me that he came back to me because a bunch of other girls totally rejected him and the real reason he broke up with me in the first place was because he wanted to see someone else (who also rejected him). I couldn't take it anymore so I called him up saying that my life was better without him in it and I never spoke to him again.
2007-03-22 18:01:46 · update #1
Over the years, I was single for a while then I had another relationship, and we broke up last April or so because he moved. And throughout the years, I never thought of the other guy at all. He was never a blip on my radar. Now, I'm starting to get to know a few guys and have a few prospects, and I don't want to jump into anything quickly like I did before. However all these thoughts of my ex from years ago started flooding my brain and I just can't seem to stop thinking about him. It's weird, because I haven't in years, and I never regretted what I said to him. It's almost as if I miss something about him. What's my deal?
2007-03-22 18:02:40 · update #2
Just to clarify. We were exclusive, and when we were dating, he did call me his girlfriend and whatnot. Also, no he wasn't my first love. In fact, we never said I love you to each other. We would just have long deep talks followed by passionate sex. He was actually a wonderful guy and boyfriend until he dumped me and started being cruel to me.
2007-03-22 18:50:15 · update #3
Also, the time he came back to be friends. We were just friends. He tried to kiss me, but I didn't let him and it never went past that.
2007-03-22 18:55:03 · update #4
Since you are dating again...old fears are coming back.
Just take is as a lesson to not date the same "type" of guy he was.
2007-03-22 18:05:13 · answer #1 · answered by Steph 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny thing about these nutball ex-boyfriends: the ones that drop you for no reason, make snide remarks to you in public, dump you because they want to get with another girl (have I missed anything?) - then come back because every one else has dumped them - they, of all people, are the sure thing. Very reliable, turning up and promising to make you feel good for awhile (lots of good memories make you think that) and then crap on you again!
He's more reliable than any of the unknown quantities you are dealing with now, the 'prospects' you mention.
You know for sure you'll have a good time for awhile. That's something! That's why you keep thinking about him - it sure would be nice to have a guarantee of short term fun. Do you want the rest of it, though, what comes after?
2007-03-30 14:37:33 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"He was actually a wonderful guy and boyfriend until he dumped me and started being cruel to me"...........uuuuum yeah, that's not exactly a wonderful guy. He was being nice while he got what he wanted. Once he was done with you he was a jerk........
It seems like girls always end up getting hurt when things get "very emotional and sexual very quickly" That's because the guy is only playing off the emotional part because he want to get laid (plain and simple)
I know now a day it sound old fashioned, but get to know a guy FIRST before you get sexual with him. You might find things out about him that will make you not want to go there. Just a thought. You might actually find something deeper.
2007-03-30 12:12:34 · answer #3 · answered by tg_lovely07 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, well, you definitely did the right thing. I seem to remember reading something that stated that it wasn't unusual to think about their first love lost many years later. It's as if our minds and hearts like to play tricks on us, by teasing us, with doubts about whether we threw away something in the past. Anyway, I cannot remember where I read that and you didn't say that this was your first love, so that's just one possibility.
The other possibility is maybe since your heart has been broken by two men now that you are protecting your heart and by finding reasons to not fall in love again.
The third reason could be that by analyzing your past relationships you are trying to avoid the same pitfalls with the future relationship.
Hope you find lasting love.
2007-03-22 18:09:01 · answer #4 · answered by Sherry 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes a certain someone can really pull at your heart strings. I am married now but I cant help but think about a girl I dated when I was in the military. I dont know why. I would never want anything or the like but I just think about her time and again. Its a problem I think alot of people go through.
2007-03-22 18:06:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Set boundaries for this guy friend let him know what you will and will not accept from him. It also sounds as if he thinks that he made a very bad mistake of letting you go and going out to see how it feel to be rejected made him realize how good you were to him.
2007-03-30 17:30:16 · answer #6 · answered by jamaicaladydread 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HE DID BREAK IT OFF SO QUICKLY BECAUSE OF ANOTHER WOMAN. YOUR FRIENDS WERE TOTALLY RIGHT. THE REASON THAT YOUR OLD THOUGHTS OF HIM COME BACK NOW IS THAT YOU ARE OUT DATING AND DOING SOME OF THE SAME ACTIVITIES YOU DID WITH HIM. SAME CLUBS OR PARKS OR WHATEVER. DO NEW THINGS THAT YOU HAVENT DONE BEFORE WITH YOUR NEW PERSONS OF INTEREST AND MAKE NEW FUN MEMORIES.
2007-03-22 18:14:32 · answer #7 · answered by petey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suppose that you just want him because you miss him. Somewhere in the back of your mind he's still really important to you. Maybe the new guys are better because he's rude to you.
2007-03-22 18:21:51 · answer #8 · answered by Curios 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I stopped reading it all it is very obvious "BOOTY CALL"
Dump him dont ever, Ever, EVer, EVEr, EVER, see him again E V E R!!!!!!!!
If if he ever says anything rude to you in front of anyone again shut him down!!! " Well, your the one that screwed me and dumped me, your a jerk and dont talk to me again!!!!" Im not Your BOOTY CALL!!!
2007-03-22 18:08:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOUR SCARED OF THE PAST REPEATING ITSELF
2007-03-30 10:14:42 · answer #10 · answered by walk with me in hell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋