hedonism vs romantism?

Question

To fall in love with somebody or to have crush on some body gives me pleasure making me feel really alive.

I love the romantic exuberant sensation it gives to me.

like the song " I love falling in love"

2 months ago I had a big crush on Suzan who has killing smile ,we dated.

2 days ago I giggled with Aselia who has witty sense of humour..

We will date.

3yrs ago I fell in love with Jenny who is not only intellectual but also has warm heart, and great in bed.

My first love was Joan in high school .

To tell the truth I confess I enjoyed every moment with these wonderful girls.

and I think I will go on.

as for me it looks quite impossible to settle with one final.

am I hedonistic jerk?

Being romantic means finding one and only princess and settling and living happily ever after?

Answer 1

You're getting one fundamental thing wrong here. I'm not blaming you for it, because nowadays society has been force fed it during centuries of religious oppression. The thing you're getting wrong is:
a human can be happy in a life-long monogamous relationship.

This is not true. Biologically and sociologically, a human is a pack creature. Our ancestors used to live in small groups in caves or fortified villages. The groups used to have several ten to maybe a hundred members.
For the purpose of procreation, a couple had sex and had a child. Now for the time the woman was pregnant and nursing, the male had to provide her with food and protect her, so it was biologically essential that the couple stayed together. Down to the basic level of pheromones, this can be explained as attraction... or love, if you want to call it so.

Love, the "madly deeply head-over-heels" one, is nothing but a chemical reaction of hormones and pheromones which send you on an emotional rollercoaster. When your body detects compatible pheromones in a person of the opposite gender, it goes wild - and you feel in love.

The strong attraction would last until the baby was independent enough to run and feed itself, which was when it was about 3-4 years old. Then it would join the community where all the adults took care of the young ones. The food got evenly distributed and the community of women took equal care of all the babies.

Therefore, the essential existence of a couple was not strictly necessary anymore. The couple would break apart and after a while either have another child together (and get back together) or find different partners and have children with them.

That's how human society used to function. Now scroll time forward.

We don't live in caves and villages anymore, but in huge cities with several million individuals. Just in one day we can meet more people than our ancestors met in their entire lives. We have such amazing choice of picking partners -
- BUT -

we've been trained, indoctrinated and brainwashed though centuries of monotheistic religions domination that a couple must marry and stay together for a lifetime.
While this functions beautifully from a financial and organisational point of view (and is therefore beneficial for the organised religion or government, which wants taxes), it unfortunately doesn't function from the chemical, biological and sociological point of view.
Our physical attraction (the crazy head-over-heels love, or "crush") to a person can still last only 3-4 years, in extreme cases up to 10 years. After that, it's friendship and dependence, not chemical love anymore. If the personality of you and your spouse are compatible, you have a good chance of staying together even after the physical attraction evaporates. You'll feel nice with them, like them a lot, feel comfortable and safe. This is usually what we call "mature love". This happens sometimes.

In many more cases, however, the personalities aren't that compatible and after that initial hormone rush and love period, the things cool down rapidly. No more butterflies, no more wild sex, just quarrels and coldness.
The attractions is gone and it's time for the partners to split and find another person to be with. It's called "consecutive monogamy" and it's the natural state for humans.

But now look: there's a priest telling you that since you got married, you're stuck with that person now, no escaping. You're stuck for the life time with a person you don't get along with anymore and a child or two.
What does that result in? You guessed it: unhappy families, violence, wife beating, cheating, illegitimate children, quarrels, feuds, grudges.... all this suffering and woe because a man is forced into an institutionalised life form which is unnatural for him.

Organised religions have done more damage and suffering to our lifestyle than we will ever be able to comprehend or to admit to ourselves.

And now to sum up and answer your question: by all means, live hedonistically. Your body, your desire, your instincts tell you so. Your rational mind, tamed by centuries of propaganda, says it's wrong.
The first one makes you feel alive. The second one makes you feel guilty.
Which one will you choose?

Answer 2

I don't understand the question...I'm sorry