How do I take my mind of having a baby?

Question

I am 21, my boyfriend and i have been together for a little over 4 years. In the beginning we got pregnant and lost it, since then he has not wanted to try again. He wants to wait until we are settled, older and financially able. You know, have a house and have money in a savings fund for their college. Now, i know that he is being smart. But i have seriously wanted a baby since i was like 7, and it is just hard to keep my mind off of it. I think about it constantly. I want one now! I know that i should wait until later so things would be better for the baby, and i will, i just need to know how to take my mind off of it for anywhere between 5 and 10 years until we are ready to have one. Please help. I don't want your advice on my age, my relationship status and blah, thank you, but i have a handle on that, i just want to know how to get my mind off of this for right now. how to look at babies and not feel deprived and lonely. just how to be happy with now and know baby will come l8er.

Answer 1

Probably nothing will completely get your mind off of a baby when you are around them. It's just something that you're going to have to determine that you are not ready for and be excited for when you are ready. Go do all of the things that you will not be able to do later. Have fun being young. (I never realized that I took for granted being able to go to the grocery store (or *gasp* the bathroom) alone before I was a mom! Travel if you can. Study. Learn something new that will help you when you are a mom (a craft, a skill or a language) anything that you can do now that is actually working towards your goal of becoming a mother. I learned to crochet as a teen and plan to make my third baby a blanket during this pregnancy. Take a CPR class so you'll know what to do "just in case" something would go wrong with your baby. Babysit. (I know that might sound weird but trust mem, somebody else's children can be VERY good birth control! :) I just would think that it would help to know that you are taking steps to work towards that goal.
(And to the rest of you: STOP saying she should get a pet! She wants a baby, not an animal. If she gets the pet and then does decide to have a baby, it's going to be dumped by the wayside because now she has a "real" baby. Animals are not babies (or a substitute one when you are "settling" for it. That also isn't a decision to be taken lightly!!!)

Answer 2

Let me start by saying, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. I think I have a pretty good idea for you to get your mind off of having a baby at this phase of your life. Do you have any friends that have kids? Maybe you could offer to babysit for a week, so the parents can have a little get away. Don't plan it to suit your schedule, or what's more convenient for you and your boyfriend. This way you can get the FULL experience of being a parent. Taking him to daycare, juggling work with quality time with him, tolerating temper tantrums, etc. etc. Now don't get me wrong there are so many good reasons to start a family. You'll have wonderful moments with your new guest. But you will fully appreciate the hard work, and emotional stamina it takes to having children. You may then be more willing to wait a while. In the mean time use this time to "nest", get financially stable, a modest home, maybe a little savings set aside so you can stay at home if you choose. Only good can come from preparation. I wish you good luck, and the blessings of a child in your future. :) Ok I just read your latest. You've obviosly done it all. What are you, superhuman? Maybe you should talk to your boyfriend again, convince him your ready. If he isn't up for it, then move on. Find someone who's as ready as you think you are.

Answer 3

I would get into your schooling or into a career choice and focus on that for a few years. Also, I would work out, get into a routine of doing this now so that when the baby comes, you will be able to bounce back quicker from giving birth. Last, I would look to family, friends, and neighbors and see who needs a sitter. Perhaps helping someone elses kid, around the ages of 1 or 2 is the best to see first hand how they Cand and Will act. But, as a sitter, you would have the joy of leaving them at the end of a rough day and that my dear would probably be enough to get your mind off of having your own. Another thing, I would do is look into parenting classes for infants and children so that when you have your own, you will know how to enrich their lives and help them through those big changes.

Last, I do not mean to undermind your sadness for the loss of the pregnancy. That is a harsh blow that (although he loves you) no man can fully understand. When you carry a child inside of you, you can't help but love it. Only a dummy would not like the child inside them. So, it is for your healing, that I am praying most of all. It sounds like you are still mourning the loss. So please, don't get pregnant just to have a baby, they can't love you back. It will be a give only situation and yes, they are cute, but,,,,they are a lot of work...So, I will stop yapping, and close...Good luck with your decision. God bless

Answer 4

This is not a decision to take lightly.
One way you could take your mind off of having a baby is set your alarm for every two hours tonight. When the alarm goes off you must get up and try to stay awake for fifteen minutes then reset your alarm to go offf again in another two hours. Do this all night long for a month. Then every time you go to the store pack a diaper bag and carry a car seat with a ten pound weight in it. When you take a shower you will need to take your baby with you, no time to get make up on. Then... try looking sexy for your boyfriend when he comes home from work and try to make him happy in the thirty minute time you have between feedings. I guarantee you will think again about having a baby. If you can't handle this for a month you are NOT ready for a baby. They are cute, yes and fun, yes but all of the above goes along with it.
Bet you're not brave enough to try this.!!! Not for the faint of heart.

Answer 5

I really think that you should just do what you love to do most. Like, if you like to bowl, you should bowl more or do anything that you enjoy. I know that it will not completely take your mind of having a bundle of joy of your own, but i fell that it would help of you got into a hobby that you were really interested in doing. Also, if you feel that it will not be to painful, another idea would be to work with kids, such as in a day care, that way you could bond with children. At least this way you will be able to spend time with children and hopefully pass the time until you are ready to have your own. I hope this helps...:)

Answer 6

hey all! It's me...the one who wrote this question. Ok, i just feel so far beyond my years! I have two dogs already, one is 3, we have had her since 11 months, the other is 8 months, we have had her since 3 months. I already graduated college for Medical Insurance Billing and Coding. I am already CPR certified. I am a nanny for twin babies they are 11 months old, i have been watching them since 7 months. I watch them 3 days a week for 9 - 10 hours a day. I also helped raise my now 10 yr old brother. I also babysit a 14 month old. So here is a little more insight about me. For hobbies i crochet, walk the dogs, read, and write.

Answer 7

i had that concern with my husband. we've in basic terms been married 3 years.. I instructed him on the commencing up of our courting i wanted toddlers and he agreed he did too. He pronounced shall we wait until eventually we've been at the same time for 5 yrs... marrried for 2 yrs.. I pronounced ok.. I suggested the convo with him and he shot it down each and each time. constantly replaced the priority. Then i overheard him telling his ultimate chum that he would not prefer toddlers.. I actually gave him an ultimatum.. I pronounced.. We had an settlement and now your chickening out.. So in case you do no longer prefer toddlers with me.. i'm no longer able to proceed our marriage.. i comprehend its no longer hassle-free to declare.. yet toddlers is all i;ve ever needed. finally he agreed to having a baby.. Im 34 weeks pregnant now. ANd its spectacular how lots hes unfold out. He instructed me the explanation why he became so uncertain is cuz he didnt comprehend something some toddler and he doesnt prefer to do something incorrect on a similar time as elevating him. i think of guys are scared and that they dont comprehend a thank you to declare it. i might supply him that ultimatum and tell him the two you undertake.. attempt to get pregnant or its time to pass on.. see what he says.. good success!!

Answer 8

i understand how you feel, and someday you will make an excellent mom, but you said it yourself, it would be better to wait, and one of the most important factors is that you and your partner are both ready for a baby...right now you are preparing a wonderful life for your firstborn, and you are doing the right thing. in the meantime, i suggest you get a puppy! really, they are just like babies....except when theyre older, they dont talk back!

Answer 9

Are you in school? If not you should go and get a degree you will not have time to think about it anymore. Or get a puppy dog, its kinda like having a baby.

Answer 10

Watch my three girls (ages 5,3, and1) for a few hours and I promise---you'll wait. LOL
I love being a mom but they are a HANDFULL! They keep me going. Take your time because oncec you have kids ---it's no longer about you. You never eat alone, get a bath alone, pee alone, sleep alone....it's a wonderful thing BUT make sure you are ready. Mentally and Financially. They are expensive!