How can you make people understand....?

Question

How much a person is really hurting when they try to end their life?

That its not that they are really wanting to hurt everyone else around them... that the pain that they are feeling is so deep that they do not know how to deal with it and feel like ending it is the only way that they can go?

That when a person is in that frame of mind that the people around them should treat the distraught person with love and compassion... because harsh words and critisizm will only make the person feel worse?

What can be done to help the world see and understand that there is pain that is so deep and inconsolable that some people do not posess the coping skills that they need?

Please take this question seriously and dont even bother answering if you are going to make fun.

But if you do answer please try to answer all the questions... please this is important to me.

Thank you in advance for answering.

they dont want people to feel sorry for them... they simply want someone to care... its not about having a pity party its about not knowing how to cope. why dont people understand that?

When people make attempts.... people wonder why.... the person tells them a reason but to the people who wonder its not a good enough reason... but those people who wonder why dont understand that people dont handle pain all the same way.

when someone tells me about someone who was suicidal or actually made an attempt I can understand that pain that they are feeling because I was there. I was at that point in my life. So I know that if someone is feeling suicidal that they have got to be hurting inside more than other people can see. Just because someone has everything going for them doesnt make them happy... they could be struggling with other issues that they dont talk about. When a person is depressed like that they arent thinking straight and people that are insensitive dont make it any better.
I am not saying that people should feel sorry for those people who have suicidal thoughts or have made attempts, but maybe they should have compassion for those people.

there is a difference between compassion and pity. I just wish that people could see that its not about feeling sorry for themselves because its about not knowing how to react to certain situations that arise and feeling that no one really cares

Answer 1

it is very difficult to make people understand why people kill themselves, because they do not understand, how a person can do this to themselves or other people around them. they do not understand that some depression is a organic mental illness, with no cure, but medications help the symptoms. they do not realize how devastating this can be to a person, and that person gets so depressed, they see no other option. my brother killed himself when he was in a bi polar depressed state. and stopped taking his medication . i am a retired mental health professional and did everything i could to help him, including getting him into a psychiatric hospital, i talked to him a great deal, and even me with all my experience , could not help him. to help my family cope with this, i told them my brother did not kill himself, but his illness, and non compliance did. you seem to have the right idea, and wish there could be more people like you around to help make people understand. education is the key to helping people understand. hope this help your question. you are exactly right about your feelings and thoughts of suicide.

Answer 2

Coming from the perspective of someone who has tried.....
It's not the pain...it's when the pain stops.
It's that one instant, where after all that time with the pain, it disapears. Everything becomes crystal clear.
No pain.
And it feels glorious. You get a slight rush as you realize you can "not- feel" this way all the time, and nothing matters....why go back to feeling that pain?

That's when they really do it.

Sure, you have a bunch of people who have a ton of reasons why they try, and some succeed. "This will show them" "I bet they'll never forget me now" "Why don't you love me"
To a depressed mind, these reasons make since.
People tell you to get help, but a depressed mind isn't thinking straight, and see these offers of help as attacks. And if left untreated, it's hard for those around you to keep trying to help. You can't expect them to constantly let their lives revolve around yours. People are weak. People give up.
But most people, don't want to admit that they have had moments where they have thought about it. Because then they arn't "normal". But more and more, it IS normal to have those feelings.

But every person's pain is different....how do you tell a blind man what green is? The best we can do is try to reach out a hand to hold or a shoulder to cry on.

Answer 3

Unfortunately there is not a lot that can be done to make people understand. Talking helps but only when the people are willing to listen otherwise it is best for the distraught person to distance themselves from the people that can't understand for the benefit of their own health.
People can sometimes blame themselves for the condition of the distraught person and they find it hard to understand what to do, this can lead to these people doing and saying things that only make the situation worse though desperation.
One way i found was to get a trusted understanding person to talk with them explaining the full facts in a way that did not give any blame but instead telling them what was needed from them.
Some people will never understand but there is still a lot of people that do and will you just have to find them.

Answer 4

I am going to assume that the person you are referring to already tried to end his/her life... because if he/she just threatened to end his/her life, then it's a different story. This person might just be blackmailing you emotionally.

If a person is ready to take his/her life, then the pain must be intolerable.

A person in this frame of mind will be very sensitive to anything you tell him/her. If you do not know what to say, maybe you could just listen to what he/she has to say.

Yes, there are so many types of pain... the only difference is the tolerance each people have for them. The only way to understand this is by being in the same exact situation. But since everyone is different, it would be hard to let the world understand what that person is feeling.

Answer 5

Well anyone with a brain knows that is exactly what it is... A cry for help.

Sometimes though... Facilitating weakness is not what a person really NEEDS.

Think about it. Do you trust the judgment of a person who just tried to take their own life to actually understand what it is that they need?

Most of the time, when people show displays of affection and gush over people like this... It is phony and meant to make the person giving the sympathy look kind and generous... What good is love you have to beg for and love that is self serving with a personal agenda?

Now if that suicidal person asked to stay in their home for a few weeks... How fast do you think that all encompassing pity and heartfelt sympathy would turn fast to cold indifference and even avoidance.

Being needy of everyone Else's affection, approval and praise... Is one of the things that can, over time and with consistent bouts of the rejection and self loathing that comes as a result... actually cause suicidal thoughts.

It is a process that will always set you up to fail.

Sometimes tough love... is the only genuine love.

Remember that.

People who mock and poke fun at genuine cries for help are idiots... and since when was it ever wise to listen to anything an idiot had to say about anything?


Remember what Christ taught?

You do not feed a man a fish... You teach him to fish for himself.

Sometimes... a good hard swift kick in the as*s is all the fish you need!

Answer 6

Learning to adapt to this world rather than asking the world to adapt to you is the right attitude you must have to survive. All the grounds in this world is filled with sand and stone. No king ever paved all the roads to be free of sand and stone. What we can do is to wear shoes to protect our feet. Ask what you can do in any situation rather than asking someone else to do it. Make the best out of a situation.

Science is so useful, not because it changed the nature of things but science understand the nature of things and try to make use of them. Learn first to understand and then to be understood.

Good or bad. Kind or evil. You must see the intention behind the words and actions. A person telling you how pretty you are with the intention to rape you, is he good? My army instructor is filled with harsh words when it comes to training. Yet he trained us to be the best soldiers, with the intention of telling us in war, there is no logic and reasoning. Is he bad? Learn to see the intention behind every word or action.

I am not sure you are in depression but here are some things I do to cure myself:
- Take tyrosine (a component of amino). It helps to boost your energy level and therefore motivate you.
- Take vitamin B & C to fuel your brain and combat stress.
- Get plenty of sun.
- Get plenty of exercise to sweat it out and pump oxygen into your brain. If you jog, run as fast as you can until you are out of breath before you stop.
- Analyze your diet. Not enough water or too much acid.
- Meditate by focusing your thoughts on your breathing. Meditate will strengthen your mind.
- Pray a lot. Have faith in the religion of your choice. Believing that someone powerful is willing to help you, strengthen your belief you will recover.
- Use auto suggestion first and last thing in the day : "Everyday in every way, I am getting better and better." Repeat the sentence any time your are free like traveling or waiting. Record and play it to yourself. Say it with positive feeling.
- Don't take anti-depression pills because the pills makes you sleepy but it does not help.
- Try yoga with relaxing music in the morning and night. Your body is linked to your mind. Once your body feel great, our mind will improve.