Should I be worried or no?

Question

So I've been dating this girl for a few weeks and we've really hit it off. We're probably going to make it official here soon. (we've talked about it).
But I can't help but think something's wrong. She hasn't done ANYTHING special for me. I've bought her all the lunches/dinners...flowers...etc. When will the girl start to offer to pay once and a while? I'm fine with paying, it just would be nice for her to do something special for me once and a while. I made her dinner last night. Again, she hasn't done anything yet for me in this dating phase....Should I be worried or just be patient for the relationship to start and then I'd probably start to see her doing nice things for me.

Answer 1

well... sometimes girls just don't know what to do for guys! i know because i've been there.

plus, usually when you ask a girl out on a date, you pay. if she asks you, she offers to pay.

i think you should just wait it out until she's more comfortable around you and she knows what you like and how to surprise you.
it might not hurt to tell her that what kind of surprises you like so that she takes up on the hints.

good luck :-)

Answer 2

Some people just don't think about it. There's a great book called the Five Love Languages, which gives you insight on what it is that makes you feel loved by another person. You could look at it together, and in that, both of you will learn the other's love language. Maybe her love language is quality time, or words of affirmation. People don't think to do the other things if it is not how they see love manifested. Since it's early in the relationship, you might just say, "do you like when I do these special things for you ?" And no matter the response, you could say, "it's really important to me - even the littlest of gestures like bringing me a blanket, or stopping by the store on your way over to pick up my favorite snack." It's in the early phase when you talk about things like this, especially if you see value in the relationship. Communicating your needs up front, prevents you from having to stifle communication later.
About paying.........well, some folks just stick with old fashioned ways - the guy pays. Since that doesn't matter to you, forget about it. But those other little gestures will speak volumes to you, so it's best to broach the subject from the beginning. It is obviously important to you. And by the way - the book mentioned above is great - check it out.
Good luck !

Answer 3

Since you haven't been dating that long you should probably give it some time. some people aren't good at coming up with stuff to do like that. Silly as it sounds! Maybe she just doesn't know what you'll really appreciate yet or what will make your day! Just give it some time and eventually if she's just taking and not giving back express to her how your feeling about it. Still doesn't change find a different girl. Someone will be willing to return the favor

Answer 4

Well we do things out of love for the other person. Never expect anything in return b/c we should do things just out of the kindness of our hearts. But, you still have to be intelligent about the situtation. If she has done nothing for you at all after you have done all of these things then thats just who she is. Or maybe she is just used to you doing all of the nice things and she thinks that you dont mind if thats the way it is. Sometimes we have to hold back on doing nice things for another person so that it doesnt backfire and they start getting comfortable and start taking you for granted. I wouldnt talk to her and ask her to do things for you b/c that would defeat the purpose of her doing something special for u. But I would talk to her and tell her that it seems as though you are the only one who cares about the relationship by your actions and it cant be that way. But, make sure this is taken care of before you make the next step. Good Luck to you brother. God bless.

Answer 5

Just be patient. im sure that if she really likes you as much as you like her then she will come around. Maybe you could say to her casually that the two of you maybe could go to her place and rent a movie and cook dinner together. maybe that will get her mind jogging! Good luck

Answer 6

i don't know, from all i know, people don't change a whole lot. maybe you could ask her if she enjoys cooking and tell her you would love to taste something she has created with her own two hands. heck maybe she don't like to or can't cook. maybe you are safer eating out or cooking yourself.what i don't understand is when people are in a relationship how can they call it that when they can't even communicate. the key darlin' talk about it!

Answer 7

Does she do small things for you like make you feel good about yourself, maybe she's not the type to show how much she cares by doing something romantic. What's wrong with her just doing something small for you, respecting you and liking you for who you are?

Answer 8

hmm, well it sounds to me like she's not the type to do nice things for a guy. there are many women who simply expect things like this to be handed out to them on a silver platter and give nothing in return.. My advice, break it off now, before it gets too serious, and find a girl who will treat you right and do nice things for you too.

Answer 9

stop doing something special for her for a week and see if she offers you anything special like cooking for you ,if not then shes a taker not a giver and spoiled, your going to just have to ask her when ya going to do something for me.wonder can she cook?is she poor and can't afford to buy any thing for you maybe that's it .

Answer 10

well, it has only been a few weeks...give it a lil more time, say a couple of months...if she really cares about u she will do things...she could b 1 of those with a sense of entitlement, but it's really 2 early 2 tell...good luck!! ;o)