I've been dating a man for 7 years (since I was 15 and he was 22). Since about two months into the relationship he has been physically, sexually and emotionally abusive. I've had it. I know another man who is wonderful, who deserves my trust and my time and who is willing to be there for me through all of the horrible things that are happening. My boyfriend and I have a two year old daughter, and I really do not want to brave a woman's shelter with her. Also I've heard that if you're not badly abused, you'll be resented in shelter. I don't know if that's true, but he usually doesn't leave bruises, hitting me in the hair-covered part of my head, and doing other things that leave no marks.
The problem is that I have nowhere to go. We live with my mother, my friends all live with their parents or are not an option, my dad is out. I have no job and no money. I didn't finish high school because of the baby. How do I get out?
(The other man is not an option. He's in college, with no job.)
2007-03-22 15:42:52 · 17 answers · asked by Angel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He has never harmed the baby, but he also has changed her once since she was born, and has fed her only a handful of times. Once he promised to watch her when my back was out, and he left the house while she was screaming for food.
2007-03-22 15:57:38 · update #1
oh honey you got to get out now. have you talked to your mother about it? if she knows wouldnt she kick him out? I have known people that have went to the shelter. they didnt have to have physical evidence of abuse, just told their story of what was going on. I know you think you dont want to subject your child to a shelter, but from what i have heard they are really a nice place to be. they are there for you and your children. in most cases ive known the shelter to help you get a job and get you a home to be established. they will even help you get a restraining order from him so he cant come around you. If you have truly had enough i think you should just go, go now and dont look back at him. you and your child is worth so much more than that. you dont want your child growing up in that kind of enviroment thinking that its the right thing to do. i wish you all the luck in the world and may god be with you.
2007-03-22 15:56:54 · answer #1 · answered by shelly l 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't call the police they won't do anything to him if you don't have any major marks and it will only make him more angry.
Is he abusing your daughter too? If so don't think about it just go anywhere you can. Even a shelter. They are not as bad as you think. I used to work in a shelter for women who were being abused and had children. It actually may be a nice support group for you. They can help you get a job and get on your feet.
If this guy is crazy and going to try and kill you or somthing then yes the police should be involved, but if you know he is going to leave you alone once you are gona just start looking for jobs or go to a shelter. I'm sorry I couldn't really be of more help. Good luck
2007-03-22 15:52:30 · answer #2 · answered by Socially Awkward Penguin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok 1 day when he's gone pack all ur crap and run even though u got no where 2 go just run if u stay he might start 2 abuse ur daughter 2...on 2nd thought running wouldn't help contact the police and get a warrant on him but make sure u have proof like record him hitting u so ppl won't think u r lying and then u can get a job and move far away 4rm that bastard and make a good ife 4 ur baby and u......4 a 16 yr old i give good advice lol hope i helped u
2007-03-22 15:52:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, see a lawyer and discuss your options regarding divorce and custody of your daughter. Unfortunately, there might not be a way to keep him away from her unless he's abusing her as well.
When you are at the lawyer's, see if they can recommend any local women's shelters or resource centers. Women's shelters are run by caring professionals who understand abuse. They will not resent you, they will respect you and help you rebuild your life and self-esteem.
Also, if you're living with your mother, you should mention that to the lawyer. You might be able to get him formally evicted and put a restraining order on him to keep him away from yourself and your family.
2007-03-22 16:00:32 · answer #4 · answered by Kate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All the republicans are going to bash me, but your kind of situation is the main reason the welfare system is in place. Call your state or county welfare department and make an appointment to apply for emergency funds and housing. You can get on your feet, get out from under your abusers thumb and give your daughter a better life. The welfare department can set into motion getting you in contact with the right agencies that can help pay for you to go back to school, daycare for your daughter and a road to a better life.
2007-03-22 15:54:27 · answer #5 · answered by flow_mj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you live with your mother. Kick him out. You are not married and he is abusive to you. Do you really want to raise your child that way? Why does your mom put up with him? Is she afraid of him? My guess is that you are defending him to her. Stop it!!!!!! No woman deserves to be abused. Why should you have to find some where to go? If you are afraid to boot him out call the cops. They will do it for you. Get a restraining order on him and stick to your guns. There is a song called Hopelessly Devoted that unfortunately describes battered women. They are hopelessly devoted to their man. You always think that he won't do it again. He doesn't mean to hurt me. He said he's sorry. BULL!!!! Don't believe it. Kick him out now before he puts you or your child or even your mother in a grave. Get yourself some counseling. You are young and have a good long life ahead of you. You don't want to live this way the rest of your life. I am confident that you will get a backbone and stand up for yourself.
2007-03-22 16:02:09 · answer #6 · answered by WORNOUTGRANDMA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU GO to that women's shelter.The ones running it will be understanding and they WILL help you to get on your feet.First you get to where you can take care of yourself and child.I mean you get an education, a job that pays enough for you to support yourself and then live BY yourself.Do NOT shack from guy to guy or youll be in an endless trap if you should go from one mess to another.If your able to take care of yourself you can leave a relationship if it gets bad.The shelter couldnt be worse than home.You are both at your mothers?She is a peice of work, letting you get pregnant at 15 and allowing your b/f to abuse you in her own home.Get out of there yesterday.
2007-03-22 15:55:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
positioned him completely out of your concepts, ignore he ever existed, and meet a marvelous guy to guard you and your baby. with any success, your father can save you long sufficient which you will get good, as in a job and a place of your person. That empowers you to have not have been given any prefer of the abuser, ever returned. you're able to desire to alter into to blame, and autonomous, on your baby's sake, if no longer for yours. good success!
2016-10-01 08:42:52 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its your Moms house? Then call the police and kick his *** out or let the police escort him out. Get a restraining order. File charges on him. Do what you can to end this abuse.
2007-03-22 15:49:53 · answer #9 · answered by sapphireblaze 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the police. Get a restraining order and have them remove him from your mother's house. Let him find somewhere to go. Press charges on him for what he's done. Please get out of this before it's too late.
2007-03-22 15:49:20 · answer #10 · answered by pixie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋