Dad Died and Mom's Losing It?

Question

My father died last summer. Since then, my mother has changed completely. She stares vacantly, is visibly depressed, and has started developing nervous facial tics. My sister and I are very worried about her. However, when we try to gently talk to her about it she gets very defensive and denies anything we say. Getting her out of the house doesn't seem to do anything. We just don't know what to do for her. It's gotten to the point where we really think she's losing her mind. I just need advice on how to help her cope with this, how to keep her from going insane...

I do that every day. I can't tell you how many times I talk with her, console her, tell her how much I love her. And I mean every bit of it. I don't think my love is enough to help her out of this.

Answer 1

let her know how much you love her

Answer 2

First, I am very sorry that you lost your father. I lost both my parents and I can understand the feelings of loss and emptiness you and your sister may experience.
After my mom died, I watched my father change into a very distant, quiet, depressed individual, much like your mom. Yes, he would snap at me, too, whenever I tried to talk to him. What really helped is he saw a psychiatrist as well as started taking anti-depressant medication. Although he got better with treatment, seemed happier, etc., he truly was never the same after losing my mom.
I think you and your sister should talk to your mom about seeking help as a family. You all have your own grief and feelings about this loss, and I think if you had a forum that you could all share your feelings, your mom may feel better. I am sure, as your mother, she is merely concealing her own feelings to avoid upsetting you and your sister.
I wish you all the best of luck.

Answer 3

I know with her not wanting to leave the house, it may be difficult, if not impossible, but I think you need to get her to a GP. She may be suffering from depression and while obviously it is due to what has happened, she may be in need of medication to stabilise her moods for the time being, that and some counselling. Try calling your local health centre for some free advice on what you should do, they may be able to help a lot more than any of us could do, they would probably get situations like this quite often.

Answer 4

sorry to here that your father died its hard losing someone so close but try to help your mother think positive and talk to her about the happy times take out photos,movies, anything memoriable, that bring in happy times,go to places that you would normaly go to if he were still there and try to be happy remind her that he is looking over her and is right there beside her no matter what and that he wants to see her move on and be happy tell her you know that it is hard but you all will stick together and get through it all together as a team if this dosent seem to work you might want to talk to your other family members and ask them if they think that your mom might need to go see a counselor to talk things through and maybe go on some medication to ease the pain for now and work her way back to happiness. best of luck and always no that he is there he is right beside you in your heart watching over you like your very own angel.

Answer 5

just continue to be there for her. We all handle losing someone we love in different ways. Im sure she loved your father with all her heart, and I would imagine that it will take some time for her to completely get over it, if in fact she ever does. She sounds like she is still in the grieving process, and it is definately okay to grieve after losing someone that meant a lot to you. Continue to support her, and try to understand what she is going through.

Somewhere down the road, when you feel it is appropriate.. you may encourage her to seek professional help, get someone to talk to about her feelings, a therapist or a doctor.

I'm so sorry about your father. Hang in there. :)

Answer 6

I'm sorry to hear that you've lost your dad and sorry to hear that your mom is suffering so. It's good that you and your sister try to talk to her but right now that isn't enough. Your mom needs to get in a support group for widows. That way she can meet people that are going through (or that have went through) similar experiences. She also needs to see a doctor that can prescribe her something for depression.
I hope that things get better.

Answer 7

My father died last year and it was very difficult for my mother for at least 6 months. She finally snapped back to herself. If she didn't I was going to go to a grieving group with her. Maybe your mom really needs to talk to a doctor about her depression. Everyone handles death differently. Just be there for her and listen to her and she will eventually come around.

Answer 8

Don't try to confront her and make her admit that she's having a problem. It's hard to lose someone, especially when there so close to you, I'm sure you and your sister feel saddened and hurt by it as well. Instead, talk about how you feel about it, and tell her that you love her. When she decides she's ready to share her feelings, be there for her, listen and be ready to comfort her, but remember to just listen. It's hard to see your parents sad, and feel like you can't do anything. Good luck

Answer 9

I do not how old you are. But you need to get your mom to the doctor for a check up, ask the doctor to arrange for professional help for her. If you are a minor, I would suggest you speak to a trusted older relative or close older family friend and have them help you to make the arrangement.

Dr. O

Answer 10

What you could do if you guys wanted is probably take her to a pschiatrist who could try to treat her.

Yes, everyone has their own response to death and accidents.

Many of us will cry, change, and move on.

My grandfather died ten years ago, and my mom had been acting somewhat like that but she is getting better I believe.

All you have to do is give it some time, maybe things will work better for her and maybe she will just move on :)

Answer 11

This has to be tough on you and your sister. Im not sure what to say but what you need to do ids talk to some one else in your family try to get her some help remind her that you and your sister are still ther and you both need her. Show her support.