my son is 15months .me and his father didnt make as a couple. he left when I was pregant but he only seen my son two times.the first time is was on his own.The second time it was in court.Is it wrong for me to have my son a different dad.PLEASE HELP
2007-03-22 15:26:21 · 25 answers · asked by Melissa G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't think he will have a choice...the male figure who loves and raises the boy will be his father and should be given the respect that goes with it, sure he will have a biological father but he won't be known at Dad.
2007-03-22 15:29:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Please I am saying this from experience. There is no problem with introducing a new father figure to him, but when the time is right let him know that that is not his biological father.
My aunt met a man shortly after having her duaghter and married him. Her adopted my cousin, but my cousin was always raised to believe that that was her biological father, until she was almost 16, going through some paperwork in her mother's filing cabnit and found the adoption papers. She is now 26 and still feels a slight grudge and that her parents betrayed her because they never found the "right" time to tell her.
Another cousin's father left before she was born, my aunt married and she was little and was raised to believe that was her daddy. to make a long story short when my aunt and her husband split my cousin found out the truth (which was not until she was in college) It was not a pretty site at all.
I believe all kids should have a father and mother figure if pos. and not a neg one either. However that is why I believe there can be a difference b/t a father (sperm donor) and a "daddy"
2007-03-22 15:48:04 · answer #2 · answered by Jada515 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with that. Your son will need a male figure in his life. It's great to have a mom and all but we, women can't be everything to our sons. There will be some things that they'll want to know that we will have no God given clue on. His sperm donor is the one that is going to end up being wrong because there is no telling what you and the other man may be raising. You could be raising a future Nobel peace prize winner, the next Michael Jordan or Barry Bonds. And he will miss out on that and won't have the opportunity to say that he was a part of that. Girl, do what's right for your baby.
2007-03-23 06:33:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son's future should be the number thing in your life. If his natural father is totally absent , you need to go on . Your son don't stop growing , so his future shouldn't either. Always put your needs second to son's. The true definition of a father, is someone who loves with caring and affection! Take time to know someone and test their ability to love you and your child. Don't jump into a relationship, give it time and if you find a loving and caring person wait for him to be a man and ask you to marry him. Remember, love is to be giving but can also demand. Good luck and don't be a door- mat to anyone, a good woman deserves only a good man!
2007-03-23 09:34:39 · answer #4 · answered by Froadrick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in this position. I don't know why this Dad bailed but I stayed away because the things in my life were not good for him to be around. I know now that I just used it as an excuse . My ex remarried ( and that is a big key) and my son had someone who raised him for 15 years. I was suprised when he graduated last year and invitied me to his graduation. We are not as close as we should be but he was raised right. Anyway back to the being married thing. It is not cool to have your son call your "boyfriend" dad If you all are serious about being a family then make the committment to do so . Then and only then should you son call him Dad.
2007-03-22 15:33:59 · answer #5 · answered by calired67 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe that ever child needs a father and if the man who laid down with you can't stand with you in your son's life he needs to be replaced by a real man. My son is not my biological child. My wife was 5 months pregnant when we met and the guy who got her pregnant refused to be a part of my son's life. That was 12 years ago and my son knows that I am not his biological, but he knows that I am his daddy. I also don't believe that you should try to force a relationship, but wait for the right guy to come. Then if the fit is right you will have a complete family and your son will have the man he needs in his life.
2007-03-22 15:40:25 · answer #6 · answered by thinkingoutloud 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Paternity is biological. If you can bring someone in your child's life that offers him love, kindness, good example of what a good man should be then of course. At some point then your son has the right to choose what role his biological father plays in his life. Do what is truly in your son's best interest but never do it out of spite for past hurts you had.
2007-03-22 15:31:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no it's not wrong for ur son to have another father in his life as long as hes good to ur child and u as well. but dont let him call him dad until u know then real well and make it up to him to call him dad. start out as friends than go from there .make sure the man is good and show him what a man is to be there for a woman when she needs something
2007-03-22 15:30:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is OK to have another dad, a step-dad for example or a god-father. But the biological dad will always be the same person and the truth will be the best policy.
Dr. O
2007-03-22 15:31:29 · answer #9 · answered by Dr. O 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If his blood father doesn't want anything to do with your son then no there is nothing wrong with letting your son have a decent guy for a father.
2007-03-22 15:29:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋