What the hell was I thinking?

Question

This question is not as long as it seems, I just really need advice. It will seem long because there is a letter on the end, which will be explained.

I've been missing a girl for 11 months. I hadn't been bugging her since she didn't want to talk to me anymore. We said hi occasionally, I thought things would be cool between us. I tried to talk to her. I said Hey how are you? She said nothing. I tried to talk about how she was helping with something (she was inactive at the moment). Still nothing. I told her I know we haven't talked in the longest time (I liked her, then fell in love with her, but she never liked me back), but I only wanted us to be friends again. I couldn't bring myself to say I missed her because it seemed like she wasn't hearing me. She kept her back turned towards me, unlike when I saw her sneak so many glances at me this past year. She texted on her phone. She never even looked at me, never said a word. I wanted to say this message that's below to her, but I couldn't remember. All my feelings about her besides "I love you" wouldn't come up. I wanted to say I love you. I just said ok, I get the point, you don't

have to say anything else. I guess I'll just see you around. Then I left. I'm wondering what should I do for her birthday next week? I'm going to ask her friends what kind of gifts she likes. After that, I'm forgetting all about her because ain't nothin ever gon change. This is what I was going to say to her, but now I'll just write it to her and try to forget her.

Hey. How are you? From the moment we stopped talking, I missed you. I still remember what you said to me the last time we talked, the things you were mad at me about. I've worked on those things to improve myself. A special girl like you is hard to find, you're unlike any friend I've ever had. No other girl is as amazing, wonderful, smart, talented, funny, and beautiful as you. No one else has your light brown eyes that sparkle when you're happy and fade away when you're sad, or your bright smile. I miss when we used to talk and I would really like to work on things and get to know you again. I really care about you and like I said, you're special to me. I'm tired of playing silly games around you, trying to act like you're not when you really are. Without you, I just had to admit that I must be really stupid for not understanding then what you were trying to tell me, that it wasn't anything wrong with me that you didn't like, it was you just didn't share those feelings for me that I

had for you.
I've found out for myself it was better when you didn't like me in that way. Now that you don't like me at all, it's alot worse. For the things I've done, I'm really sorry. I was just afraid of losing you, so I did. I only want us to start over, pretend this whole thing never happened. I just want your friendship back, if it's ok with you. If what you want is to never see me or speak to me again, I will just try to let you go just because I only want to make you happy. (END) Her 17th b-day is in one week. I'm 17 as well.

Answer 1

When you are young things seem more dramatic than they really are. I don't think I have ever cried so hard over a break-up since I was 17. But you have to look to the future and realize that you are going to meet a lot of people that are going to give you similar feelings. It may never be as intense as your first love, but there will be someone someday who feels the same about you. Put yourself in her shoes and think of how she may be feeling. Maybe she doesn't have the same feelings for you and does not want to hurt you or lead you on. If she respects you, that is what she is trying to do. Time will heal your hurt and you will find someone else. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 2

You are right! Its definatley not so long.

My advice to you would be to never think that way again?

Edit to add:
DO HAVE A LITTLE SELF RESPECT. DO NOT WASTE YOUR HARD EARNED MONEY ON THIS GIRL, SHE IS NOT WORTH IT AND IT WILL NOT BE APPRECIATED! Please find yourself someone who actually likes you and will appreciate you. Save your money and go out and buy yourself something that will make you feel good. Spending it on her is only going to make you feel worse in the long run.

Answer 3

I would say that this girl seems like a total snob and you seem like a nice young romantic guy who deserves better.

Answer 4

i think its a good idea to send the letter to her. if she doesn't want a romantic relationship, she'll at least give you a chance to be her friend again.

Answer 5

okay, well hopefully she reads this post. now that you have that out of your system time to move on. we all learn through making mistakes so quit beating yourself up. best of luck

Answer 6

she is apparently a cold fish, your ganna have to get over her dude, im sorry

Answer 7

you've totally confused me there, buddy. =P