Dying family member...?

Question

I wrote this poem for a family member who is about to die of cancer... I would like some unbiased thoughts before giving it to him. Feedback?



Slipping, in quiet dignity,
Yielding to black river’s might;
Still many gripped by morbid awe,
For somebody has died tonight.

Hushed whispers, their motley circle,
On fear and infamy they thrive.
Strangers bound by others’ despair
But what mind, were he still alive?

Driving alone under gray sky,
Light fading on a one-way street;
My mind drowned in melancholy
For promise we shan’t again meet.

This agony of consciousness,
The tragic place in which we stay,
Consumes my fragile heart; and yet
I knew him, on a better day.

Answer 1

A very good poem, heartfelt sentiment. I would be pleased to receive it. Share with the other people around your family member as well. Peace be

Answer 2

I would like to say how sorry I am for your loss....I know all too well what it's like knowing that your loved one is running out of time.
I think this is an incredible, deep, and touching poem. When reading it, I felt it was a wonderful tribute to the person who is suffering. You have captured what occurs in death....how you hold dear memories of this person and others, in a sense, gawk at the passing of life. This is truly a beautiful poem that I hope you will share with your loved ones.

Answer 3

It is a really touching poem. My grannie died in Dec...colon cancer. I dont know if I would give it to him because he isnt dead yet. I know as my grannie was dying, she only wanted happy thing surrounding her, nothing sad, she didnt want to see tears. Maybe you should use this for that person's memorial service when he dies.

Answer 4

my daddy died 4rm cancer so i think this poem is really good and its real nice of u 2 do this 4 that person i hope ur ok and everything

Answer 5

That is beautiful the hairs stood up on my arms