spanking your child........?

Question

i just read a blog that totally pissed me off! the author wrote that parents who spank their children are no better than the bullies at the playground! i spank my daughter and i'm proud of it! i've never left a mark, never even made her bottom red!! my daughter is polite and well behaved everywhere we go, she answers me the first time i call to her, and she even listens when i tell her to stop doing something(& she's 2!). i can't tell you how many kids i see in stores who are screaming, fighting, tearing things off shelves, and even hitting & cussing out their parents, and all the parents say is 'now don't do that, that's bad....you'll get a timeout......"!! all i can think is "pop his *** and he'll stop that REAL QUICK!!" so i wanted to know.....what do you guys think? (and you "time-out" parents be honest, do your kids act like monsters in stores? do they actually listen the first time you say something, or does it take a few times?)

MELISSA---true the cops can't hurt u, but do you really think that JAIL is going to be funtime? wake up and see the real world, princess!
MOMMA-- apparently you can't read b/c i said that i DO NOT HURT MY DAUGHTER!!! i give her a light tap over her diaper and explain what she did wrong. (p.s. i've seen some things that suggest YOU are an online bully)

EVERYONE: my daughter is not afraid of me at all. she is just as loving and caring to me as i am to her.

HOT MOMMA-- what is lazy are parents that are too uninvolved to take responsiblity, or an active role, in disciplining their children, you are probably one of those parents who completely ignores your childs bad behavior!!

BTW! I HAVE TO ANSWER PEOPLE LIKE THIS B/C THEY DON'T ALLOW IM'S OR EMAIL, HMMM. .....WONDER WHY....

HOT MOMMA--once again, u must be too dumb to read, i don't smack my daughter!!

HOT MOMMA (and some of you others)....let me know when you'll be on Nanny 911, i'd love to watch!! ;)

Answer 1

I just dealt with this today. At the park my daughter threw sand, was told not to, did it again and got a swat. Some ding-bat mouthed off about how I was an abuser. Well, my daughter did not throw sand again, and was perfectly content, laughing and playing, two seconds after I "beat" her.

This woman then decides to leave. That was the start of a 20 min battle with her 2 and 4 year old sons. She talked, she begged, she bribed, she would pick up one and the other would run, she got kicked and hit, and then she started screaming. After about 20 minutes of this, she finally said, "WELL, I'M LEAVING!!!" Got in her truck, and DROVE OFF! Her boys were scared to death! I could not believe what I was seeing! Her kids were screaming and chasing her truck. She stopped after about 50 yards, gets out, screams "GET IN NOW", loads her poor tramatized kids up, and takes off. I was so dumbstruck, I could not say a thing. My kids witnessed the WHOLE THING. They were real quiet for a few minutes, and then my poor abused, beaten little 6 year old girl looked at me, and said, "Momma, you would never do that to us would you?" I didn't have to answer. My 11 year old son said, "No, our momma loves us."

That is a true stoy, that happened today. My kids were traumitized alright, but not by my spanking them. I have seen "anti-spanking" parents do unbelievable things to their kids. One of my son's classmate's mom followed him all day at school in hair curlers and pajamas to "embarrass" him into doing his work. My husband is a Karate instrustor, the number of parents who "dump" their kids is amazing. These kids are started in school at 3 years, do baseball, soccer, football, karate, band, ANYTHING, as long as the PARENTS don't have to deal with them. I am looked at some kinda freak because my kids are with me, at least until Kindergarden. My favorite time of the year is summer, that is when I can spend time with them. My kids are not robots, and they are not perfect, but I'm not embarressed of them, and I'm often told how wonderfully they behave. Friends and family mention how considerate and sweet natured they are. Spanking may not be the way everyone does it, but it is not abuse. And no where near as bad as what I witnessed today.

Answer 2

I used to spank my son. I really regret doing it now. The truth is, it never created a positive outcome. My son was no better behaved after a spanking, He would cry for a minute and go right back to doing whatever it was that got him into trouble in the first place. I started doing time-outs. It really has worked out a lot better. In fact, after a few time outs, he was actually asking for a spanking instead of being put on punishment! My children do not act out on stores. If they start to, we leave. Maybe you're daughter is an exceptionally well behaved child naturally, or maybe she's scared of you. My son on the other hand, has always been extremely difficult and spanking did not stop this. Time outs have improved this situation greatly and I think you are generalizing things. There are plenty of children who get spanked and still act out.

Answer 3

I am a mom to a 12 year old boy, and I spank. I alwys have. Not every offense in punished by spanking, and as he has gotten older I have other effective means at my disposal such as grounding him. However, I too have a loving relationship with my son. He and I laugh together, play games, read together, and have fun. He knows that I expect him to be responsible and honest and have honoe and integrity. We love each other and everyone can tell. He is well mannered, behaves appropriately no matter where we are, is polite, and listens when I tell him something. He also knows that there are consequences to his actions other than sitting in a chair for a designated period of time. All timeout teaches them is that they can do what they want, speak how they want, and their only punishment will be to sit down in an uncomfortable seat for a while. On the other hand, my son understands that if he lies, has a foul mouth, behaves inappropriately, or doesn't do what I instruct him to do that he won't be able to sit down for a designated period of time. Spanking is supposed to hurt a little, and I never have left a mark on him, hit him anywhere other than his buttocks, and never on the bare skin. It has taught him respect, and I am proud to be a parent that spanks.

Answer 4

I have explained my thoughts on spanking bunches of times. I feel that the parents should be able to decide on their own. Not random people you don't know. Most of those people who say those kinds of things don't have kids themselves. So, don't pay attention to them.

I also hate going out in a store with kids screaming and pulling things off of shelves. However, I'm suprised you hear parents say "You'll get a time out". People you see here will just walk by and not do anything. Or they give in.

I was spanked, and I was never in trouble at school nor have I ever bullied anyone. Therefore, I laugh at the people who say that spanking leads to bullies and kids beating up other people. It's hilarious.

I'm not here to say spanking is right or wrong. All I know is I was spanked. I never got in a fight or did half of the crap my friend has done. He talks to his mom like dog crap. Cusses her out every word she speaks to him. And you know what? To her, spanking is abuse. He was "GROUNDED" as punishment.. The difference between me and him shows that spanking apparently works.

In conclusion, you're the parent. As long as you're not leaving bruises, you shouldn't have to worry about how people say you're so mean for spanking your daughter. You will probably be one of those people who don't end up surrendering to supernanny asking for help on how to get their brats in order.

Answer 5

YOU GO GIRL! I'm tired of it too! I've got 3 kids that have all been spanked at some point in their lives...oh wait....should I say that I beat them or abused them instead? I may as well because undoubtedly someone will come along behind me here and tell me that I do anyway....I'm such a horrible Mother...right?

Well, let me tell you something, I asked my 14 year old daughter, WHO HAS BEEN SPANKED, if she thought spanking was abuse or wrong. Would you like to know what her answer was? "I think it builds character and maybe if more kids were getting spanked we wouldn't have so much crap going on at school!" Now, I'm not a genius but that sounds pretty definitive to me.

For one last time people, spanking does NOT equal beating or abuse. Maybe sheep herders didn't BEAT their sheep but they sure used that ROD to tap them on the hind quarters to get them to get the led out and stay in line! Spare the rod (staff) spoil the child. I defend this statement and so many others come back and give the load of BS about sheepherders not "beating" their sheep. Well, there's your answer to that one.

My daughter is not afraid of me. She never has been. She respects me, however, a great deal. I've got a wonderful relationship with her and we are VERY open and honest. I have used spanking as a TOOL to guide her and tap her on the hind quarters to keep her a$$ in line!

Get over yourselves. Let's all wait and see what you think life is like when you are 65, retired, and the kids today, all these spoiled rotten, lazy, manipulative, self indulgent, disrespectful brats are in charge of YOUR social security. Yeah, you'll change your tune by then I bet....

Answer 6

In my opinion, as long as the parent is not abusive, it is their right to spank. I was spanked and so was just about everyone in my generation (I am 53 yrs old). But there are many people in my generation who look at the current generation and wonder what ever happened to morality, taking responsibility for your actions, and good common sense. I do not believe spanking is abusive if administered correctly and at the correct times. It should always be followed up by a conversation about why you needed to spank them along with a hug and kiss to show them you love them. Also, I can tell you I was probably spanked less than 10 times my entire childhood. You sound like a good parent. As long as you are not abusive, you have every right to discipline your child as you see fit.

Answer 7

"I spank my daughter and i'm proud of it!"

Wow. Is that right? You're proud of inflicting physical harm? And towards someone 5 times less your size and 20 times less your strength toboot? How very interesting.

Tell me, if you did somethig your husband didn't agree with and in turn he decided to hit you, is that ok with you? Or would you cry blue murder and have him charged? Your lame arguement about you not leaving marks is a feeble attempt to justify what you do. Abuse is abuse. Period.

"my daughter is polite and well behaved everywhere we go, she answers me the first time i call to her"

What is this now? Does she wear a dog collar too?

Answer 8

Get real people, it isn't that a lazy parent hits... hitting and spanking are too different things. My 3 year old has been spanked quite a bit in his life, but he has also spent his fair share of time standing in the corner, sitting in timeout, having lectures and discussions from me etc. My child is not afraid of me or scared... but of course he is afraid when he has a guilty conscience because he knows he is guilty and mom will do something about the situation. Spanking is fine as long as it is done in love and to teach as opposed to scare, abuse, or emotionally damage a child. NO scientific evidence here, just my personal opinion. I live in America, I do have that right to an opnion.

Answer 9

I have to say you go girl cause you know what i have 3 kids that i will put my hand over there a**es and they will still try to act a fool, so true some times it works and sometimes it don't but you know what i have even told a CPS worker that came to my house cause some one said i was spanking my childrens butts i tell them from the get untill you find a mark there is nothing you can do about it you don't see it but also at the same time if my kids is doing wrong and needs it i'm going to give it to them cause i reather them know i will tear in to them then be out there one day robbing and killing people cause i choice that if you do this or do that your going to get a time out what do they really learn from a time out.( to love to be alone) i know cause i have lived on both sides. i spank my kids but my cousin won't so my 8 year old will tell her how things are going to be. you have to show them who is the boss. and teach them the responsible of life.

for those that choice a time out is better then you might just be the one that is going to the jail every week to see your kids when they get grown. sorry to say it but my mom did spank my brothers like she did us girls and the ended up in prison for maltiple reasons, and i on the other had did end up in jail a few time but never for anything major.

Answer 10

I agree with the first answerer I also believe the lazy parent hits, hitting children is just abuse in the name of discipline. How can someone honestly think they are doing the right thing by causing their child physical and emotional pain, I don't believe you should do this to someone you love so much. Children who are hit always duck when they get yelled at because they fear the pain that is coming, explain to the child why that behavior isn't acceptable and punish them another way like taking away privileges or give them extra chores to do. I am not a time out parent either I don't think that method works either. I have an 11year old and a 9 year old and I have never laid a hand on them, both are very well behaved and respectful to others and both are honor students so I feel that I am doing something right so far.They listen very well and help me when ever I ask. I think spanking causes children depression and fear which makes them less likely to come to you with a problem and that can be dangerous, my kids tell me everything because they are not afraid of me, they want my help.