I think the problem is that he is insecure.plse read my first question b4 answering this one?

Question

thank you all for your advice. i would like to explain tthe situation further.
my fiance says because it took such a long time for me to get pregnant he finds it "too good to be true" that i am pregnant. he claims he only wants the test to boost his self confidence and to be sure that the babies are his ofcourse.
i understand all the above but i cannot help being hurt about it!i love him so much and having him out of my life will be just like killing myself. What else can we do aprt from the usual talking it out.(if you actually find yourself in such a situation you wiill realise that it is very difficult to sit and talk about it.)
i want to still be with him but how will i be able to heal the hurt i am feeling now?

Answer 1

still is rude. Still is him not trusting you. The fact that he says 'it's to boost my confidence' is like him saying 'blah blah blah'. The fact is this. You have been trying for 3 years to get pregnant with your fiancee. You are pregnant. Now he wants a test to tell him if he is the father or not. He can use all the sugar words he wants.. the facts are simply insulting! and imply that he does not trust you!

Answer 2

Well it sounds like you should just get the test then. He will end up feeling worse than you, not that that should give you satisfaction. He will feel bad and be apologetic and you will forgive him, because you love him. From there on time will heal all wounds and you will have two beautiful children to help you both forget that this ever occurred.
I commend you for being able to work this out with him, I said I would leave my b/f, but like you said you don't know what you would do until you are in the situation.
Good luck, take care, and btw congrats on those twins they will be worth the wait.

Answer 3

This is a tough issue, woman don't realize that it can be very hard for a guy to have any doubts, woman have the baby there is no doubt.Now you could be the giving one and reassure him, but as a guy myself I'd have to be honest and say that if he wants reassurance seems that there are deeper issues going on with him. I had many doubts when my sons mom was pregnant but did not ask for a test but it was eating me inside...well then he was born and MAN I can't deny him..he's my twin. So 2 choices tell him no and to trust you and he could let it go or it could eat at him inside..or give him the test show him he was an a$$ and move on...either way goodluck to you!

Answer 4

I've read your original question and this may be due to the fact he is insecure but at the same time unsure of your faithfulness to him. If you know in your heart you have never given him a reason to doubt you and if you truly respect yourself and you want to save this marriage from this significant betrayal of trust: get marriage counseling. There is more to this story than what you are writing down. The fact that you both love each other should be enough for him to trust you that they are indeed his children. I know it's easier for us to just hand you advice but how many times is he going to hurt you intentionally or unintentionally throughout your life together? Have some love for yourself and seek counseling. If you are desperate enough and lack self esteem and self love then go ahead have the paternity test done, then when it comes back positive, by all means stay with him you obviously love him above all else, including yourself. But if in 10 years times when your marriage is dissolving due to more suspicions and you find yourself resenting him and hating yourself for sticking it out with this "insecure"male....remember these words~LOVE YOURSELF FIRST before you learn to love others and be loved. Good luck

Answer 5

Hi,

I think he is being a total nut. Here you are pregnant and he comes along and wants a test to say the baby is his. What makes him think that it is not?

Sit down and talk about. If issues like that come up, he is not worth it even though you love him to death.

You and the baby come first now,, he has to start respecting you more.

Answer 6

It took my husband and me a long time to get pregnant too. There is no reason to do a paternity test unless he thinks you have been with another man.

He needs to get over it, and he needs counseling

Answer 7

im not sure if you can get past such a thing but you can get over it

Answer 8

you guys definatly have some trust issues. sit down and tell him that it is his. tell him exactly how you feel. if he loves you, he will understand and know it is the truth.