My boyfriend and I are engaged and have begun preparation for the wedding. It is planned for just more then a year away. We’ve decided on an evening event and the reception is indoors. I realize this is some time from now, but we have already encountered a substantial issue. We are from exceedingly large families, both with very young children. We have differing opinions in regard to their attendance at a formal evening wedding, except for the wedding party. I am not in favor of including younger children (approximately from the age 10 and under). He wishes to allow parents the option. Here’s some insight: He is the remaining family member to marry. Furthermore, he is an only child. It is also customary for his family to involve everyone at all family member’s weddings. Besides suggesting a time change, as we are adamant about that, how can we come to a compromise?
2007-03-22 14:28:24 · 19 answers · asked by fitzynine 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
we invited families to attend the wedding and the dinner. after dinner was over all the kiddies were scooped up and taken off to another room in the hotel. all the kids.......even those in the wedding party. otherwise you're asking for trouble.
babysitters were there to put the wee ones to bed, and watch the older ones. we made sure there were lots of videos, snacks, juices, sodas, games, etc.
we explained to the families, prior to the wedding, that while we were looking forward to having their children with us on our special day we didn't want children around once the bar was open. just in case anyone got carried away. we didn't want the children to see any inappropriate behavior.
pretty much everyone was good with that. the kids had a blast, the parents enjoyed an evening without the little ones and didn't have to worry about paying the sitter. lol
the parents could wander up to the room whenever they chose to check on their youngsters.
the cost of the sitters was minimal in comparison to other wedding expenses. and everyone had a grand time.
by the way, we only had one couple refuse to come. everyone else thought it great that their kids could attend the wedding service, have a great family dinner, but then the grownups got to have their time as well. that one couple? they've since agreed that they were being silly and wish now they had attended.
this is a good compromise, hope it works for you.
congrats on the upcoming wedding! have a good marriage!
2007-03-26 12:17:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A new trend in weddings are hiring a wedding nanny. This is done for a few reasons. It allows guests to come and not have to worry about hring a sitter, sometimes this is the reason people may not attend. Also the children can stay for the beginning of the reception with their parents but be moved to the designated area for activities while the parents feel at ease knowing their children are nearby . This is normally in a smalller room. I am not sure where you are from but I am in Ohio and can recommend a lady here. Usually these prices are very reasonable and it is wonderful if you are planning to have children in your bridal party. Take it from me I am an adult and the day took alot out of me imagine if you were a young child. I agree the reception is not a place for young children, but if you have many immediate relatives with young ones I recommend it. It is such a relief to parents and also shows that you care about your guests sharing your day with you. if your budget does not allow for this expense think about conatcting a teen or college student to babysit at the wedding, I am sure your venue would have a room to accommodate. You would only provide some games and activities that are age appropriate. Alot of caters will provide children meals so you do not have to pay the same amount per plate as an adult. I hope this informatiom helps you out. Good Luck!!!
2007-03-22 17:00:10 · answer #2 · answered by Mel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would compromise and invite family member's children, but make sure he knows you don't want any friend's kids invited. That's what we're doing for our wedding. People understand that, but I don't think excluding family is going to start the wedding off right. If the parents are concerned about it being an evening wedding, they can make plans for their children. Most weddings are very formal, but kids can still have a place there. There will be enough other things going on at the reception that you won't be worrying about the kids. You'll be having too much fun. Have fun planning!
2007-03-22 14:52:22 · answer #3 · answered by jennyss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the other ideas for you hiring and paying for a babysitter are a good idea, but above that, you need to open your eyes. Weddings are about families, that includes children. At one point, you were the screaming little brat at a wedding, but no one banned you from their wedding. And some day, you may be the couple with the screaming children. Be very careful about your demands. This could cause some major tension in the newly formed family. I can say this as a bride to be, quit being unreasonable and selfish.
2007-03-27 04:52:37 · answer #4 · answered by loulou 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know the feeling. Me and my fiance are both from families with a lot of little ones right now. While we don't mind them coming to the wedding, we understand that some people don't like trying to watch a wedding with little ones yelling in the background. So, our solution is to have a nursery room for during the ceremony and a children's table for during the reception. I hope this helps you. Good Luck!
2007-03-22 15:01:39 · answer #5 · answered by warriorchic84 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm getting married in may, and I have 53 relatives on the one side and 39 on the other...this was a problem...as I can see yours is. Making the list felt like death, but what we did was we invited the oldest child in each family. This was odd, but it cut down on numbers. My cousin invited everybody last year, and she had a potluck-type dinner. I wasn't so into this, because I didn't want to make or organize food, but maybe this is an idea for you. Everyone from the family brought a certaina mount of food to the wedding, they cooked two turkeys and two roasts, and they had 300 people...everyone had fun. Maybe that could be an idea for you..
2007-03-29 03:42:08 · answer #6 · answered by Candice M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-05 12:36:21 · answer #7 · answered by cales 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children are wonderful, but they don't necessarily understand weddings, which makes most of them wishing they were somewhere else. With drinking and dancing, adults need time to enjoy what they came for. Leave the kids at home with a good babysitter and the parents and the bride and groom can enjoy a wonderful evening without childrens drama. Remember, its your wedding, they are the guests, do it your way. You would be surprised, most people will understand. Good luck
2007-03-29 17:24:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you will be able to come to a compromise with this because either the children attend or they dont. There's no inbetween. But I can tell you right now that if you tell people not to bring their children, a lot of people are not going to go to your wedding AT ALL. And you will start off your marriage very poorly. You need to stop focusing on the glits and glamour of your wedding and remember that its just one day, but you will be married and WILL BE dealing with HIS family (and he with yours) for the rest of your lives hopefully. Give less importance to the wedding and a heck of a lot more to the MARRIAGE. You'll regret not doing so.
2007-03-27 05:07:14 · answer #9 · answered by MariChelita 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could invite children and the family to the ceremony to wittness the vows and then just state that the reception is Adult only. If you and your Groom are disagreeing on this....it is going to become a really touchy subject. Some brides may really dread having children at a reception but it can really end up being a very GREAT affair when its all said and done. Whatever you and your Groom decide is what goes, remember that! No one elses opinion matters when it comes down to you and your future hubby. You have some time, so continue to talk about it and as it comes closer to the date decide. Good Luck! CONGRATS!!
2007-03-22 14:35:06 · answer #10 · answered by Tiffany 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋