Help ! Friend's son in the marines.?

Question

Ok, friends son currently in the Marines, they are in France now on some type of boat for training, (this is his third tour during Iraq). His grandmother died this past Monday nite, the funeral was yesterday, Wednesday. HE WAS NOT ALLOWED TO COME HOME TO THE FUNERAL ?!?!
He did raise holy **** over there was demoted a rank also for his actions.
Who do I need to contact about the sorriness of the US Military in this situation?
Do you agree this was inappropriate ?

and if it had been me, I would've told them where they could stick the rank and went directly to the press. I am just a civilian, and believe me if I would've heard this in the news, I would NEVER have believed that our government could be this callous. I am VERY certain that your typical civilian DOES NOT know this, and it should be made public.

Answer 1

Military personel can only recieve emergency leave if they are sent an official red cross message stating what the situation is. If he was notified any other way, they disregard it. My husband is in the Army and deployed to Iraq. I know several people in his brigade that have been sent red cross messages about deaths in the family (aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc) and all of them have been able to go back to the states on emergency leave. The normal amount of time they have been given home has been the two weeks that they are given for leave during a year long deployment.

Answer 2

I know it's hard for someone that was never in to understand the rules, but when you're out somewhere, he may not understand why he wasn't allowed to go, but he's in different waters and sometimes, the command can't lose manpower for their missions. I was in a similar situation when my grandmother passed away and I did not get to go home only 2 states over right away because of my position with my previous squadron and what we were training for at the time, I had to wait for a letter from red cross and go through those channels and still did not make it on time. It may have seemed insensitive that they have certain procedures, but it's for the best. He should have known better and instead of losing his head, approached it through the right channels. Family is important, but when you sign in for the military, it's a whole nother world. So complain all you want, but everything still goes as planned in the military. Your friends' son is a case on its own, I'm sure there's something there that you didn't know about, and definitely a point of view you're not seeing, so why are you calling the US military sorry after all that it's done and still doing for the nation? Sorry about your friends' loss, but don't try to talk bad about the military when you can't relate to the situation.

Answer 3

You DO realize that Bush has this country in the middle of a WAR and this man is a MARINE whose first duty is his JOB in the war?

If it had been a parent, they would have let him come home for 3 or 4 days...

I'm glad they demoted him. If he's not careful, the Marines will toss his butt out with a dishonorable discharge. The Marine Corp isn't the Army. Marine Corp doesn't put up with that crapola.

He took the following oath when he enlisted....read it - especially the part about obeying the officers:

Enlisted: I (state your name) do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to the regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.

Answer 4

Did his family contact Red Cross and did they contact him or did his parents contact him ?
The death of grandparents do qualify for emergency leave (I was on my way up the Suez Canal when my grandmother died and my XO wanted to know if I wanted to go home once we reached Alexandria. I declined because by the time I'd have gotten to N. Mich, everything would have been over.)
In the case of grandparents, it's often the operational requirements of the unit which may preclude emergency leave.
As far as him losing a rank, his actions must have been very unbecoming a Marine and he must have been way out of line.
If he's in the Med on training, sounds like an 'amphibious training' which may have kept him from going on leave. Often times the command has to make difficult decisions.
When our subs are submerged, the death of a family member is a difficult thing for a sailor to deal with since they cannot surface to release the sailor for emergency leave.
I'm very sorry for his loss and for him not making it home for his grandmother's funeral. I'm sure she would have understood.
(USN, retired)

Answer 5

It's just a fact that things are different for military than for civilians. You can't always get time off for things that are important to you. That's just the harsh reality. If they let people leave for anything otherthan immediate family there would quickly be people abusing that and so they have to draw a line and it has to be adhered to. I feel bad for him not being able to go but the rules are there for a reason. So sorry I do think it was appropriate.

Answer 6

It might be inappropriate as far as we're concerned but the military has it's rules. Was the Red Cross notified? They have to go through them or they for sure won't get sent back. Had this not been war time I can almost assure you he would have been sent back stateside. Our son was in Bosnia a few years ago, before Iraq and when his Great Grandmother passed he was sent back for 10 days. War changes things, but if you don't like the way things are done your best bet would be to write or call your congressman.

Answer 7

i do not agree with you.
i was a Marine for 8 yrs & when you sign the contract you know what that might entail. people opt out of marriages because they don't realize what keeping up your end of the bargain is... they opt out of a car loan, a purchase agreement, declair bankruptcy because they have overextended themselves, or thought it was the easier way out...(not to say there are not good reasons for any of the above, there are, but, they are highly abused too)
he signed a contract...giving his word, & unfortunatly a endeared family member passed. It was not an immediate family member ie: Mother/father, wife/husband, son daughter. & if you look at the rules & regulations that HE agreed too then you may find that he did indeed give his word to abide by them.
It is a time of war. weather you agree with this war or not.
he signed the contract. they made him stick to his side of the bargain.
what is wrong with that.
sounds like he got mouthy with someone he shouldn't have too. lost rank, lesson learned.
he's in one of the best fighting units in the world, this is no game! discipline, honor & duty are held to high standards & when you decide it isn't to your liking you just want to opt out.
there are very few institutions that make you hold up your end, the Mafia, & the military. especially the Marine Corps who pride themselves on the above mentioned.
grow up.

but if you persist on being this way it is your "right" to do so.
so your best avenue to resolve this situation if you feel he & the family was wronged then.
1) contact His local congressman & meet with him or at least coorespond with e-mail, & written letters & maybe a phone call.
2) obtain a very liberal lawyer who will take up almost any cause, but make sure he is a real weasel. they seem to do the most damage in cases like these.
3) get on your knees & thank God that you live in a country where you can do such things.
4) thank God again that he was only in the military & not the Mafia, because they would be finding his body in the river for trying to break his end of the bargain

Answer 8

This country is at war. As sad as it is, emergency leave would be hard to get for immediate family. Extended family would be hard during a deployment during times of peace.

If this is his third tour as you say, he should know and understand this.

Sorry to say this, but if he lost rank, he probabvly did something to warrant it.

Answer 9

Maybe. A written explanation is certainly in order, probably through the JAG office.

Answer 10

Sorry, I know it is sad, but we are only authorized emergency leave for members of our immediate family (and if you are deployed or man a critcal position, you may not even get that). Depending on your unit and mission permitting, they will try to allow you to attend services for other family members but this is not a "right". It is just part of serving. There is no one you can contact unless you want to write to your Congressman, but this is common procedure. I'm sorry.