Im abstinent and he isn't!?

Question

I am dating a guy whose last relationship was pretty serious and they had sex at least a couple times Im sure. So now he's with me and I have told him many times that I want to stay adstinent for a while still (im only a freshman/he's a junior) and he respects my choice and encourages my decision. But sometimes I dont think he will really be able to go a really long time without "it" since he has already "tasted it". Do you think he will be able to control himself and not wander for sex??? What do I say if he starts pressuring me into it!?!?

just to let everyone: he isn't pressuring me now and he respects my wishes. Im just worried about the future, thats all. thanks for all these answers!

just to let everyone: he isn't pressuring me now and he respects my wishes. Im just worried about the future, thats all. thanks for all these answers!

Answer 1

OK, to start with, I don't know if you're in college or high school. Unfortunately, the answer to your question really is different depending on how old you are (and how old he is). If you're a freshman in high school - that's ninth grade. I'm sorry, maybe my age is showing, but 15 is at least a year and probably two years too young to be having sex, and this guy is too old for you. Please, don't date anyone more than a year older than you, that's why you're in this situation. (Hell, I think fifteen's too young to be dating seriously. Give yourself a chance to be a young woman, first) If the guy is enough of a jerk to leave you because he can get sex elsewhere, good riddance, you don't need him, and there will be plenty of other guys who are willing to wait until you're ready. And, you will be ready, sooner or later. You just need some time.

If, on the other hand, you're a freshman in college, and so seventeen or eighteen years old, this whole picture changes. The age difference between you is no longer important, for one thing. And, the risk of your boyfriend leaving you for someone who will have sex with him goes way up. As a college student, you're an adult, and sex is part of healthy, adult relationships. Please note that I said sex, which is not necessarily sexual intercourse. There are many things you can do together to get the same sort of intimacy without technically losing your virginity. Try looking up "outercourse" on the web - you might be suprised how creative you can get. This part of my answer has been deliberately left ambiguous because I suspect you are in High School.

Also, communication is the key to any meaningful relationship, whether you are in high school or college. Talk to your boyfriend in a quiet, adult way about this while you two are in a neutral, non-threatening place. (anywhere in your parent's house is neither neutral nor non-threatening, trust me). Tell him about your concerns and get him to help you come up with ways to solve this problem and ease your anxiety about his leaving you for someone who will have sex.
Lastly, sex isn't the most important thing, even for guys. If he really loves you, he'll wait...and it will be worth it.

It occurs to me that, while I gave you the best advice I could, I didn't really answer your question, and the other answer aren't too clear. So, to be brutally honest, and assuming you're 15 - sex for guys your boyfriends age isn't very different from masturbation, especiaaly if he's only had sex a few times (it gets better with practice). What I'm trying to get across to you is that just sex isn't that much different that he can't wait for you if he really wants to - and that sex is substantially better with someone you're in love with and who loves you. It's worth waiting for.

Answer 2

they actually respect you more in a twisted sorta way for waiting and it shows that you will always be faithful for your future husband because you can control yourself. If he can't live with and respect that than he's not the right guy for you. Sure it's going to be hard and he's going to have a few days when he's all over you, but he should always back off when you tell him NO or Stop or I Wish You Wouldn't. My hubby and I waited more than a year and some days he was pushing it and all i would have to do is say "i wish you wouldn't" ever so softly and he would recoil as if i shot him and apologize within an inch of his life. If ur guy can't do that he's not quite the right one for you. They are out there it just takes finding them. It can be hard waiting and to keep looking but don't give up. Awesome decision btw. I really respect you for it, your saving yourself so many broken hearts. After you become intimate with someone and then break up it's a piece of yourself and your heart that your never going to get back. it leaves scars emotionally even if you write it off as just a l*y your always gonna remember it.

Answer 3

Masturbation is healthful and a organic way of freeing your sexual stress. in case you do not masturbate you will have moist targets, the place your seaman will leak out interior the night. that's natures way of telling you which you will possibly be able to desire to sell off. in case you do not do it manually that is going to take place via itself. Masturbation might desire to be a solid outlet so which you could launch, quite than continuously being great sexy around your lady chum. i might permit her comprehend which you're masturbating, and clarify why. If she isn't keen to settle for which you're masturbating to maintain an abstinent existence type along with her, then there are guaranteed to be problems between the two one in each of you. wish this facilitates.

Answer 4

If you're so worried about this guy cheating, why are you with him? If he wanted sex so badly, he would never gotten together with you in the first place. And if he is a decent guy, he'll respect your decision not to have sex and wouldn't pressure you. And if he does pressure you more than once or twice, break up with him. Also, there's this word called "no." Use it.

Answer 5

Don't let anyone pressure you into something you don't want. My ex did that and I totally regret it. He told me he respected me too and that he would wait. But he ended up taking my virginity. I regret what I did and he was a jerk and didn't deserve it. If he leaves you because he wants sex, let him go, he should respect your wishes and be with you no matter what if he really cares.

Answer 6

Hey listen I respect a women who can say no and all it take is once for her to say no. If you don't want to have sex you don't have to!!!!! Please don't do it just to keep some guy around cause it's not right for yourself you should do it when you feel ready. Not when he is!! plus if a guy really love or really wants to be with you he will wait trust me. I had sex before and when a girl says no to me I respect that not a problem I like/love her enough to respect that about her. Good luck

you should do it when you are ready not when he is!

Answer 7

If he respects you and loves you for all the right reasons, he will honor your decision. If he tries to pressure you into anything, leave the relationship because clearly you both would have different reasons for being in the relationship in the first place. Hope that helps!

Answer 8

If he really wants to be with you, he will respect your decision
to remain abstinent.......trust me even if hes already ahd sex it
doesnt mean that he is thinkin about it all the time.....i was going out with a freshman last year...i was a Junior.....i never pressured her.....as a matter of fact i never actually thought about it....i just enjoyed being with her......so if he starts to mention it, its because he is only after that.....

Answer 9

Well if he likes you enough then he will respect what you want and he wouldnt make you do anything that you didnt want to i mean i hopeing that you arent like not kissing or anything like that but yeah i understand what you mean being a freashman and not wanting to do that because im in the same situation right now because im wanting to date older guys and like they have already did the do and i havent and i really dont want to and i have told all of them that and they seem like its cool but im sure that he will at least try if he is like any of the guys i know but yeah just tell him your not ready but you really like him and hope that you guys stay together

Answer 10

If he's a good guy and if he truly likes/loves you, he will wait for you. If he doesn't then he wasn't good enough for you anyways, so no loss there. Just take the risk and see what happens...life is lived in these little risks, the spaces in between are just the moments building up to the next big adventure =] Good luck! ^_^

PS: I think its cool that ur choosing to wait a little...it shows self discipline and maturity =]