Ok, I'm getting married soon and my fiance's family...well they like to drink...a lot. I've already refused to have an open bar at the reception, but house wine and draft beer are included with the meals because many of my fiance's relatives won't come unless there is alcohol. I wouldn't care about their drunken exploits except for the fact that a lot of people in my family don't drink at all. I don't want my reception to turn into a drunken mess. And honestly, the main culprits are his parents (I've seen them at weddings before). Is there a nice way to ask my fiance's parents to not get drunk at the reception?
I'll take any and all advice I can get!!!!
2007-03-22 13:27:04 · 11 answers · asked by PhysicianAssistant 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
That's not for you to do. However, your bf could talk to them - nicely - about not ruining his special day.
2007-03-22 13:30:57 · answer #1 · answered by Lydia 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If advice or a request is given, it has to come from your fiance. You stay out of this..because they will take it in a very insulting way and hold it against you forever. Unfortunately there are people who are alcoholics but are in denial and they make a mess where ever they go, but unfortunately you are between a rock and hard place. This is a delicate subject, because most alcoholics don't think they have a problem, so in asking them to refrain from getting drunk, I am sure they will take it as a big insult...So if they get drunk...they look like the ******* not anyone else and they will be the embarrassed ones that they spoiled their son's wedding. But say a few prayers to the Lord that they will behave. Good Luck
2007-03-25 17:22:05 · answer #2 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shorten the reception a little and have an after reception party maybe at your local bar of choice. Then the ones that want to get trashed can get trashed at the bar and not your reception. I got married last year and everybody had a good time with alcohol being served. Even for those who weren't drinkers. Then we went to a bar/club and danced more and so on! Hope some of this helps. :)
2007-03-23 00:04:18 · answer #3 · answered by Consi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem. My husbands family likes to drink, and get drunk and act stupid. So I flat out said no alcohol. We had a dry wedding, and we had the same response that people did not want to come because there was no alcohol, and that was fine with me. Those who value you and your fiance more than a bottle of beer will be there, trust me, just about all of his relatives showed up anyways. If you don't want to pull the alcohol you and your fiance need to sit down with his parents and tell them your concerns. This is not any other wedding, it is their sons wedding and they need to act appropriatley and be sober.
2007-03-23 18:27:37 · answer #4 · answered by Janice O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There really isnt anything you can do at this point but sit down with your fiance and tell him of your concerns. If they start to get a bit out of hand at the wedding you can ask them to leave. Simply put- no one has the right to disrespect you any day, not only your wedding day.
It will be up to your fiance to talk to them and put it in plain language how he wants them to act.
I have a brother whom we all think will be acting the same way. We will be placing his seat closer to the door a nd a few members of the family already know what to do if he begins to get out of hand. He will be escorted out.
Your wedding day isnt about everyone else, it is about the union between you and your fiance and if a few yahoo's cannot put down the drink and respect you, they shouldnt come.
2007-03-22 20:49:43 · answer #5 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So they wouldn't attend if alcohol wasn't served? Those who truly care about you & your fiance would come anyway. This isn't about them having a free-for-all; it's about you & the commitment being made.
Tell your ushers & a few friends about your concerns. Let them watch the situation so that they can head off any potential problems. Then you can enjoy your wedding without having this in the back of your mind.
And if anyone has to have another way home rather than drive, they can arrange for that.
I know you hate to have 'bouncers' at your wedding reception but trust me, you aren't the first. I know one bride who actually hired an off-duty cop for hers. Honest.
2007-03-22 20:45:43 · answer #6 · answered by weddrev 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ooooo.....very touchy subject to have to deal with! This is a hard one. Unfortunately if the wine and beer come with the meals and his family are going to be drinking you cannot control how much they drink or if they do get drunk. And just by asking them not to get drunk it will keep them EVEN MORE motivated to get drunk....because they will feel restricted...and lets face it, no one likes being restricted. This is my advice to you. Let them drink, get drunk and you don't worry about them...ENJOY YOUR WEDDING! Hire a bouncer or wedding coordinator that can take care of unruley guests if they get to the point where they are falling all over themselves. Just remember, this is your day and your stressing enough (I am a planning bride so I know this!!), the last thing you need is to stress yourself out even more after something that hasn't even happened yet. Be young and in love, be happy and married, enjoy your day and your celebration!! CONGRATS!!
2007-03-22 21:30:41 · answer #7 · answered by Tiffany 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Promise them a seperate reception where they can drink as much as they like. They can come to the main reception but no drinks, or they can drink after everyone leaves..your fiance has to talk this to them
2007-03-22 20:41:12 · answer #8 · answered by freeboyonearth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Sit down with them and ask them VERY nicely to not get drunk at your wedding. That weddings are supposed to be events where you put your best foot forward, not your drunkest! Personally I like to drink too, but if they get drunk to where they are being distruptive that's another story. If they do figure out a way to get drunk and get disruptive, then tell your husband to deal with them or have them removed all together. It will be a good test to see if his loyalties are with his wife or with his drunken parents.
2007-03-22 20:37:31 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh bless your heart. There really is no way to say it nicely. In fact i don't really think it is your place to say it at all. Have a talk with the groom and see if he foresees a problem also and if he will address it. Is there a way to limit the amount served?I sure hope something works out for you.
2007-03-22 20:35:16 · answer #10 · answered by Dee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try putting crack rocks and crack pipes on the table and they will not want to drink so much.
In the early 16th century, men used to have to prove that they consumated their marriages. In order to do that, they would have their wife lift up her skirt and bend over so the other men could check. If the man was satisfied that she was deflowered he would pour honey down her crack, so the next person that wanted to check could just stick their finger down there and see if it tasted like honey. Hence the word HONEYMOON.
2007-03-23 17:47:02 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋