PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

Here's the deal... I am 15 years old and trying to recover from anorexia. I just have SUCH a hard time handling mentally gaining weight. It feels like torture to me because I don't feel like anything in my life will change once I am healthy from the way it was two years ago when i became anorexic because of the problems in my life. I really feel like I need a goal for myself that will change life and make it better once I am healthy. Considering the fact that my problems are that I feel like I can't be very independent and I am constantly at home with my parents, what is a good goal for me. My personal thought was a getting to go to a boarding school next year, but my parents are sooo not going for that idea. but you get what i mean by "goal" then, right? so, please, any ideas for me?

Answer 1

Hi Sweetie,

I would like to talk with you as if I were your ol' Uncle King. I know that at times life just seems so unfair. It's as if everything and everybody around you just doesn't get it.

I have a niece who is very close to my heart and although we are hundreds of miles apart, she is always in my mind. Why you can ask. Because she is a special, beautiful person both inside and out, and what you describe sounds very similar to what she went through a few short years ago.

Don't listen to people who say things like 'just stop thinking about yourself and do something else', 'you need to pick anything for a hobby, painting, sports, skating or whatever'.

These are excellent ideas, but your real problem, at least what I have experienced in lives of my loved ones, is a sense of lack of control. Everyone around you has the control and you are left with nothing. That is often one of the causes of anorexia, I bet it seems like you are just non personna (sp). A non-person. Boarding school is just another place to take your problems. They will be part of the baggage you take. So don't try to run away from them, problems here will just be problems someplace else. Did you know that problems help us to grow and to become the beautiful person God has intended.

Listen to me Kiddo, you are somebody. I'm telling you that you have gifts to share with others. Opportunities are around you to open up YOUR inner person and share yourself thru poetry, music and the written word. While at school you could ask your English teach for extra credit for writing poetry or short stories.

Don't let the world around you keep you down. Get up and celebrate your being special. A hobby? Mine is oil painting. I learned long ago, Sweetie, if you share what's inside to the outside world, suddenly you forget what was wrong and see what is right.

Keep up searching, and share your experiences with others and you'll find, Sweetie is blossoming into a wonderful flower.

King

Answer 2

Setting a goal for you is a very good idea. Wow the possibilities are endless and can be very personal. If you are looking for a little independence then maybe get a part time job, and learn to start managing some of your own money. Also maybe set some kind of goal where you have to be accountable to someone like your parents and prove that you are trying to change for the better, you can say that once a week you have to set down and talk to them or someone else that you trust and show them that you are trying to make the conscious effort to eat, and gain weight.Eat veggies, fruits, and carbs if you are worried about the more fattening stuff. Make a goal that you will try to eat enough through the week to only gain a small amount of weight maybe 3 or 4 pounds (trust me this isn't alot) Show them that you can do this and every time you gain a couple of pounds, reward yourself with a hobby that you enjoy. Once they see that they can trust you to take care of yourself then maybe they will slowly give you alittle more independence. Good luck

Answer 3

It sounds like you are intelligent enough to know that the root of the problem is not anorexia itself. That will be your first goal - to be healed from the root of the problem - what you were dealing with before you became anorexic. Whatever it is, the main thing you should focus on is your health and not just your physical health, but all forms of your health. Your physical health starts with your spiritual health and when you feed yourself with positive energy thoughts about yourself, you will begin to discover a new you from the inside out. Loving yourself is key no matter what the outside looks like - it does not matter because what matters most is who you are and all the wonderful qualities about you that can change your life for the better and those around you as well! God bless you!

Answer 4

Whatever the goal, it should NOT be related to weight / body image / appearance! Find somethink you enjoy or are interested in. Can you take up a course in self defence, Tai Chi, interior decorating, yoga, art classes, ceramics, Feng Shui, etc.? Re- educate yourself, maybe in child care at first - that is bound to be useful, down the track a bit. See http://emotionalhealth.ivillage.com/ Understand that, because of your upbringing, you became anorexic, since it is one of the very few things you can control: your body, but that you have started to reward yourself mentally through not eating, and now have a distorted body image. Only look at your face, don't look in a full length mirror; paint them except near the top, or refuse to look in anything but a small one, so you CAN see how you look, but not all at once. Keep in mind too, that boys don't like skeletal figures, but prefer someone in the normal weight range. See your doctor about this.

Answer 5

Start with getting healthy first. Set realistic goals like........ being a certain weight by a certain date, attaining a higher grade in a class, being kind to someone who is in need of kindness, learning to be more independant, taking a course on self-esteem, saying positive afirmations to yourself every day................... Hang in there. You need time. Concentrate on getting well. Anorexia is a very hard disease to overcome. Have you tried finding a support group for recovering anorexics?

Answer 6

See yourself as a mother of a daughter - what would YOU say to her? See yourself as a grandmother who knew her granddaughter - what would You say to her?
Step back, and see yourself from other perspectives. People who are in your life - parents, brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, nieces, friends, people who care about you and want to see you grow up and become the successful woman God created you to become with all the talents and gifts He gave you, but you need to just sit down and open these gifts up to discover them and see how they fit together - like an outfit that you wear. It takes a little time, quiet time, prayer time, and seeking the council of a wise woman or wise women in your life to encourage you to go in the right direction. See yourself as a Princess in God's Kingdom - these might help you sort things out and help you define some short and longterm goals for your life that have purpose and meaning. So that when YOUR daughter comes to you, you can give her encouragements like you just got. Hope that helps a little!

Answer 7

Are you in Therapy at all? I am a former Anorexic so I understand. And you need to be in a group of some kind to help. I am not sure if boarding school is a good plan yet. One day at a time. Hang in there.

Answer 8

Well, I dont know how it's like, so i can't give you personal advice on how to recover from your emotional problems. But, I know that If you had anorexia, you look worse skinny than with meat on your bones. And just keep in mind that you are at risk of dying when you don't eat. And dont tell me you dont like eating, cuz then i will envy you. But I think if you dont like eating, just strive to become the perfect weight for your height and body structure, and then you know that your not fat, you are like everyone else who eats normally. And strive to eat atleats 3 meals a day.

Answer 9

You should eat more I know it's hard honey but eat eat eat as much as you can pleese. Set goals for your self. Try and eat breakfast in the morning, than in the after noon at like 12:00pm eat a little sanwitch or sald. Than at at mabye at 4:30pm you can eat a snack. Than at 7:00pm eat dinner like grilled chicken or something like that. Than for dessert if you can fit this in eat fruit sald, cake, pie, or ice cream. I hope it helps hun. Good luck and feel better!

Answer 10

It's too bad they won't let u go away. Their overbearing ways is probably what drove u to anorexia. Your body is the only thing u have control over. Talk to your counselor, maybe they can persuade them...it sounds to me like this is the "cure" that u need.