How do I answer tactfully the question of "What church do you attend?"?

Question

I currently work a sales job for a fundraising company that does alot of work with local church groups. While I focus much of the discussion on the fundraising programs, alot of the times someone within the church organization will ask what congregation I currently attend. My husband and I are Atheist, which of course is an answer that never seems to go over well. While a sale is supposed to be about the service I offer, whenever this question comes up, the focus is suddenly about me as a person. I have yet to find a tactful way to reply to such a question. I have stated that we do not currently have a congregation, or that we do not currently attend church, etc. I am finding that this is actually starting to hurt my sales, since a few people have stated that they are not comfortable working with someone who does not believe in God. How can I tactfully answer such a question without hurting my sales, offending anyone, or having to out and out lie?

Answer 1

Here's the best response I can think of that might work: "By asking me that question, does it mean your church may contribute more or less to my company depending on my answer? Please tell me it's not true." You could add, "I think the cause I'm talking with you about is important enough to be supported regardless of my personal church choices, don't you?"

These questions will shift the focus off your beliefs and onto the other person's judgmental spirit or the real reason you're there.

Answer 2

I don't really think there is any way you can be tactful and completely honest at the same time. You can say, "I don't currently have a home church, but I work with many congregations, etc." But of course that does imply that you are not against going to church, which is not true.

I am a Christian and I certainly do not mind being around atheists. My siblings are atheists and we respect each others opinions. That said, I don't think I would work with one in my own church. Then again, I would not ask anyone in a business relationship what church he or she attended.

The only good answer to this question would be to lie and I don't think either you or I think that is a good solution.

Answer 3

You are caught between a rock and a hot place! :)

Seriously, though many churches have members who are quite cliquey, and remember most encourage their members to recruit. So these inquiries are quite common.

I really can't imagine you could honestly answer this, even with humor, and make it a win/win.

I used to answer "Pedestrian" when asked what my religion was. It usually derived a laugh, and that was the end. But it won't fly in your situation.

Perhaps you and your husband could consider becoming active in the Universal Life Church, a true interfaith organization? www.ulc.org If you look over their materials, you may find that it is not offensive or oppressive.

Remember that church can also be more than mere belief in God. There is fellowship, helping others. And frankly the Ten Commandments are pretty basic rules for civil obedience and just getting along.

Answer 4

Since you are working in an environment that puts you in constant contact with the various churches, it is only natural and normal that they would ask you what congregation you belong to. I would suggest that you simply tell them that you prefer not to discuss your personal life while working. That is true, after all.

I wonder, though, if you might want to look for work elsewhere, since you don't seem to be a good fit for this position. That's not a knock or a dig--I'm sure you work hard and are good at what you do. But it would be like someone who hates dogs working as a dog groomer--they might be good at it, but their heart will never be in it.

Answer 5

I think your answers have been sufficient. No need to lie. Sometimes you're just not going to get that sale. Move on. People ask because they want to establish some sort of connection. They just want to know if they can trust a fellow believer. You are correct in that the sales has become personal. Try to turn the discussion back to the sales.

Answer 6

You cannot provide the 'tactful' answer in this case. You are working in the fund-raising industry for churches, so it will always be a question that will come up from those to whom you call for donations.

It is a very logical and to some people a very important part of the 'giving' decision, (1) If they are a certain denomination, they may be unwilling to divert their monies to another denominational need. (2) If you are the one soliciting for a group that you cannot identify with, then the person to whom you call my question your sincerity. (3) If you are an atheist, your enthusiasm and understanding of the need for which you are soliciting donations will be severely hindered.

It is quite possible that you should work for a non-religious fund-raising concern.

Answer 7

Wow; you are really in a rough spot. There really isn't a way to answer this question other than briefly and truthfully, which it sounds like you are doing when you simply say that you are not currently attending a church. I think it's inevitable that this will hurt your sales, though.

Can you think about switching to a fundraising company that has schools as its client base, rather than churches? Good luck!

PS: I always liked the story about Woody Guthrie -- during one of his admissions to the hospital for Huntington's disease, he was asked what religion he was. He said "all." Whoever was filling out the form told him there was no box to check for "all." So he said, "It's all, or none."

Answer 8

Simply state that you work with many different congregations (feel free to name some of them if you want), and that experience has taught you that it is best if you keep your personal business separate from your professional duties. Perhaps you can allude to "higher ups" in your business organization that would prefer if you keep your personal affiliations private.

You state that sales is about the service you offer rather than about your personal habits. However, this is certainly not the case, as you've found out. You'll need to find a way to relate to everyone you deal with on a professional level; if you find it hard to do business because you are less than forthcoming with your clients, that is something you can't help.

Answer 9

As a christian women, I would offer this. Remind such individuals that their belief is God created all, and God is love. According to the Christian belief system we are to love all and judge no man. They may want to serve you a bit of Jesus. But I would think your belief is your beliefs and they should be respected as such. However, with religion and spirituality, ethnocentric attitudes really rear their ugly heads. Good luck and God bless****

Answer 10

I'm an atheist too. What church do you attend is a tactless question, like me asking what's your favourite tipple and assuming that everybody drinks booze just because I do. On the rare occasions anybody asks me this question I just reply None. I'm not Christian. I take it you're American. Elsewhere in the developed world, we don't take it for granted that everybody goes to church.