Can any explain and help?

Question

Okay I asked questions similiar to this one probably close to two months ago. But I'm asking again because it's a little different senario. Ok my mom died when I was 8 I'm 15 now. She died of a brain tumor. She had the effects of a brain tumor for a little over two years making mine and my families life pretty hard. Well last year we had some neighbors move in that are effecting me. Well not them in particular but their mother. She is the kind of mother that I have always dreamed that my mother would be like as I got older. She takes her girls (10 and 12) shopping at least once a month. Gives them small suprises every once in awhile. Just does all the motherly things that I have missed out in my life. I get jealous when I am around her. Sometimes it just feels like I want to sit down and talk. But I don't want to bring it up, I want her to figure it out for herself, but I know that it won't happen. I get so jealous of her girls sometimes that I just leave their house and don't visit

again for weeks at a time. Recently it was her birthday and I wanted so bad to go over there and say happy birthday to her, but eventually chickened out. I'm not sure why. Also I got jealous because the night before her birthday her children went out to buy her birthday presents and it made me realize that I'm not able to buy birthday presents for my mom. Mothers Day hasn't come yet with them living next to me, but I'm sure it will be a lot harder then it has been in the past because Mother's Day has always been hard on me exspecially in the elementary school where the teachers had us make Mother's Day gifts. I want to know why I feel this way and maybe what should I do about it?

I live with my dad and two brothers

Answer 1

You know with Mother's Day in the future you may have the perfect opportunity to let her know how great you think she is. Write her a letter saying a bit of what you said here and ask her if you can give it to her. Maybe do it a day or so before or after so you don't take away from her kid's chance to tell her happy mother's day. Or at least ask if you can do it before the day.

If you approach it from the standpoint that this is something you'd like to tell your mother but can't she may be receptive and be really complimented that you would have hoped that your mom had acted like her if she was still there.

You never know, maybe she has a big enough heart to sort of fill in and mother you a bit, too.

Answer 2

First, don't hurt yourself any more--losing your mom at such a tender age is bad enough. Talk to your dad, let him know you miss having a mom-type in your life and, as a maturing female, you feel the need to have a mom in someone. Do you have an aunt or older female relative who might step in occasionally to do those mother-daughter things with you (even a grandmum)? Also let the lady next door know how your are feeling so at least she is aware of it and can understand why you do those abrupt departures--she might not wish to get more involved in your situation but at least she will be aware of you (she may not know about your mom and about how you feel when you're around her and her daughters). Then, at least, you've given all the adults fair warning and maybe one of them will have a good suggestion you can use. Does your school have a counselor you can consult--maybe he/she has a list of resources you can go take yourself to find a temporary mom keep you company. They might have a "Big Sister" organization in your area too. You need someone to talk to, to treasure your growing up into a grown woman, to give you advice and argue with and just be friends together. Since your dad has never been a girl, he probably isn't all that aware of how in need you are--so enlighten him (that's your job) while letting him know you know he's doing the best he can, but you still need a female role model to talk to.

Answer 3

You can't expect her to figure that out by herself when she doesn't even know what you're feeling.
Why don't you try visiting with her and getting to know her?Maybe she'd really like to have you for a friend
if you gave her a chance and would maybe even take you under her wing.
Don't push yourself on her.Let her to get to know who you are.
Maybe you could offer babysitting services since you are 15.
You are feeling jealous because you miss having your mom at this time in your life and that is hard on you.
Be friends with her daughters which will make it easier for you to get to know her well.That way you'll eventually get a chance to talk with her about your mom and your feelings.
I really do wish you well my dear and all the best to you.
God Bless.

Answer 4

I am very sorry about your loss.

You say you want this person to figure out what 's wrong. This person is not a mind reader.

You may want to talk to her one on one and explain your situation. She may know this already but talk to her about your feelings. She may be wondering why you come around and then just leave.

If she's as nice as she sounds, I know you'll both work something out.