What's an alternative to flattery?

Question

Because I do it a lot, just to get on people's good sides, but I'm not sure it's so smart. What am I doing wrong? How should I fix it?

@Centurion: I hate to say it, but "kidding" usually doesn't fix anything.

@Fudge: I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that.

Answer 1

Charm...an art lost long ago.

Answer 2

People are perceptive - if you're only doing it to get on people's good sides, it won't come off as sincere. You'll come off as a slimeball.

Try really thinking about what you're saying - people love to hear good stuff if you really mean it. Maybe less flattery than admiration. Things like, I noticed you worked really hard on that project, or you have a real flair for........ or I admire the way you...

But you have to believe it yourself.

And ultimately, if you want people to like you, then be more likeable.

Answer 3

Take it down a notch. You're just trying to bond with them, not get into everyone's pants. Learn how to low-level flatter. Heavy flattery is like flirting, to some folks, and they might not be able to tell the difference.

Answer 4

Sincere praise is certainly a good alternative to flattery. It forces you do try to discover something genuinely worth remarking on about a person...which also gives you time not to say something negative if you can't find something positive to say.

Answer 5

flattery is just a nice way of saying you are a suck up. just stick with sincere compliments or positive coments and don't try to sugar coat everything. nobody likes bs

Answer 6

Well, you could always finish your flattery with "I'm just kidding....."!

Answer 7

Try actions and deeds.

Answer 8

Honesty, honesty, honesty! Please say what you mean and mean what you say, or you can practice the fine art of silence.

Answer 9

sex