Who should wear a tux?

Question

I'm getting married this summer and it is formal. I'm definitely going to have tuxes for me (obviously), the best man, groomsmen, future father-in-law, and ring bearer. However, I wasn't sure about my dad, stepdad, and my future wife's stepfather. If there was no money involved, then fine, everyone can get a tux. However, my dad is poor and has not been a regular part of my life. Also, my stepdad has helped me out more than my dad, but I'd hate for him to have one and not my real father.

I read everywhere that for a formal wedding, the groom's father must have one, but I think it's a waste of money for two stepfathers, and my dad to rent one when all they'll be doing is walking in and sitting in the front row. I don't understand that. Please don't give me the pictures speech either. It's not like they'll come in street clothes. They'll still be in their "sunday best."

What do you think?

I have been informed that my stepdad doesn't care to wear a tux and by "doesn't care" I mean he'd prefer not to. Where does this leave me now?

Thank you so much for all the input.

Answer 1

Dude, just let them wear what they want to wear. Tell them to dress nice, a suit or whatever, but the tux for the grooms dad is overrated. I just got married last week and my dad just wore a suit. But it wasnt that easy because it was the topic over many conversations prior to the wedding....all because he didnt want to wear one.....when all is said and done, not a single person noticed.

And the picture argument doesnt work for me because unless you are doing an extreme formal wedding, it doesnt even matter.....also, tell me how many houses you have been in where a wedding picture was displayed that included the bride and grooms family??? I have a lot of friends and been to a lot of houses and havent seen a single one. I have seen many of the bride and groom, but never of the entire familys.

Answer 2

I think whatever works best for your situation is fine. It's not necessary for everyone to be in tuxes, so if it's not an option, don't worry about it. I think the people you listed having tuxes is enough for your situation. You're right about the pictures too. They'll be fine. It's not like all the grandparents, aunt & uncles, cousins, etc. will be in tuxes and bridesmaid dresses. I think as long as both your dad and stepdad don't have on tuxes, it's fine. If only one of them wants to get one, I think it might be awkward, so I would stick with neither of them getting one. Good luck and congrats!

Answer 3

If you don't mind that they aren't going to be in a tux...than I wouldn't worry about it. Typically the Groom, bestman, groomsmen, ring bearer and the fathers (steps included) should be in tuxes, but I think its preference. Especially if someone can't afford to rent a tux (where they can be pricey) than I wouldn't worry about it. What we did was put the dad's in matching tuxes...they don't match the wedding party exactally, but they don't differ from it much...then my stepdad rented a tux for himself...it's close to what our dad's are wearing, but it's from a less expensive tux rental place. Yea it'll look good in pictures if everyone is in tuxes, but if someone can't afford it...than I wouldn't worry about it.

I think it should be up to you and your future wife. Maybe if you do decide that the others should be in a tux...than offer to pay for them...just a thought.

Hope this helps!! :0)

Answer 4

In the weddings I have seen all the fathers wear a tuxedo because of the formal family pictures. The fathers are considered part of the wedding party as honored guests, so they usually wear the same attire as the groomsmen. However, that isnt a steadfast rule and if you would rather them wear a balck suit then have them wear that. I will say this though it will probably look odd if her dad is dressed to the 9's and yours arent. So for uniformity I would do it.

Answer 5

heavens if you really want it done with style, do not put a small boy in a tux- [under 8]. she will find boys wedding clothes on the internet, but if you do want it formal the dads should wear a tux, other wise a dark suit will do. If any step dad or father in law is in a tux--be sure you own dad has one, [his past is irrelavent].

Answer 6

Since your dad and the two stepfather's will not be active participants in the ceremony, they don't need to wear the 'wedding uniform' if finances are an issue. They are however 'honoured guests' and should be provided with bouttonieres, as should any grandfathers or godfathers that are in the picture still. That should make everyone happy :)

Answer 7

It's your wedding; do what you like. Traditionally, in a formal wedding, not only would the entire wedding party (father included) wear a tux, but the invitation would say, "Black tie" or "Black tie optional." But since it is your wedding, Dad should wear what you are comfortable with, and since he won't be standing at the altar, it won't look weird.

It would be best, however, if he wore a dark (black or navy) suit, because it will look best in pictures.

Answer 8

Let him opt for out a exceptional swimsuit. army blue or gray could be quite exceptional. Just make certain that the groomsmen fit (i.e. they do not get tuxes). My fiance is dressed in a quite exceptional swimsuit, and I'm pleased we each desired to move in that path. He appears approximately 10 instances greater in it than in a tux, and he will get to put on it for the leisure of his existence. Now, if best I might put on my DRESS to targeted instances for the leisure of my existence:)

Answer 9

I say ask your real father if he wound mind not wearing a tux. If he can't afford it and you didn't rent anyone else's, I'm sure wouldn't mind. Hope I helped.

Answer 10

At alot of tux places if you have a large party they get a discount on threir tuxes and you get one free, why dont you give your free one to your dad.