I ask this question because I feel like I havent been the best person to my girlfriend. We've been together fort3 yrs now and it's been really rough this third year. I seem to want to push her away when I am upset. I knwo you people are thinking I don't want to be with her but honestly she means the world to me. I dont know what I would do without her. Recently there has been some very hurtful things done to her on my part and I feel as though my whole relationship is going down the drain. I want to save it but I dont know how. She has been hurt and I think she may never recover or trust me again
2007-03-22 10:18:25 · 9 answers · asked by citizenparticular 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I read this article when I was dealing with the same thing..........Maybe it will help you :)
You've got a big relationship problem if one partner cheats. Here are five tips to save a relationship and move-on after infidelity.
Deal with Underlying Issues
What caused the cheating in the first place? An affair will often root out the underlying issue that led to infidelity. Openly deal with your relationship issues and you'll improve your chances of making positive change together.
Rebuild Trust
Learning to trust each other is never an overnight project. Start with small opportunities to grow closer together and build from there. If you can rebuild trust in smaller situations, you'll have good odds of eventually rebuilding full relationship trust.
End the Blame Game
It's easy to point the finger at the partner who cheated.
And yes, the cheating partner is the one who officially crossed the line. Still, most cheating situations are symptons of a bigger relationship problem. Focusing too much on blaming your partner for cheating likely will miss the big picture of why it happened.
Discuss in Detail
Discuss everything about the affair until the non-cheating partner is satisfied. Details help the non-cheating partner understand what happened and why it happened. Knowing the whole story gives the best possible odds of moving on together.
Set Groundrules
Decide on some relationship rules together for the future. Will you check-in each night or commit to sleeping in the same location? Will you openly share email accounts, voicemails, and credit card statements? Decide on some rules together that make both partners feel safe and secure in the relationship
2007-03-22 11:55:22 · answer #1 · answered by honeygirlc 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mr. Worried, with all means you have the right to feel that way, but can you imagine how you have made her feel, I sometimes wonder why men think that we women are like disposables that you man can do anything and just wash it and it clears away well let me tell you something, I hope your not to late to recover what you have damaged which sometimes is not to late, and somethimes its just impossible to recover the trust and love she once had for you, but I sincerely hope the best for you we all deserve a chance in this world.
GOOD LUCK.........
2007-03-22 18:03:43 · answer #2 · answered by Xtreme Fitness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it's good that you realized what you are doing wrong and the reason why the relationship is going down the drain, as you said.
Now all you have to do is fix it.... STOP pushing her away when you're upset, DON'T hurt her, give her the reason to trust you again.
2007-03-22 17:22:37 · answer #3 · answered by ( Kelly ) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Basically, tell her what you told us. Explain to her everything that has been going on with you. The only way to try and save a relationship on the rocks is Open Communication. Whenever you are upset...let her in, that's what she is there for. And of course, try not to do those hurtful things anymore...Good luck.
2007-03-22 17:41:49 · answer #4 · answered by Katie R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, there are several possibilities...1. you subconsciously want to end the relationship--3 years is a long time and maybe you feel like you need to see what else is out there or 2. you'll need to appologize for whatever youve done...you'll wanna to take her out for a nice dinner (maybe to wherever you went on a first date) and tell her you're sorry for what you've done and that you want to start things over...and from there you have to actually change those things you say you are doing wrong
2007-03-22 17:38:27 · answer #5 · answered by Natty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you could admit to her what youve just said here,and try and suss out what made you act like that in the first place-why do you push her away when your upset? if you dont know why you may keep doin it.
Then you gotta see if she will let you make it up,ask her what it will take,if she will give you the chance.She might want a bit of space to think about it and u gotta respect that.,jus talk to her and see what she wants to do first.
2007-03-22 17:36:04 · answer #6 · answered by lil c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude I wont kid you , you have got some serious work ahead of you and I would be happy to help you but do not waste my time . I can be fixed dont give up you can IM me and we will talk but only if you are seriously ready to get to work and take some steps to be a better MAN !!!
2007-03-22 17:28:44 · answer #7 · answered by sentrysharpshooter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u would need to do the same thing that got u two together. u should try to start fresh from the chasing to the things that made her say yes. act as if it was the first time, all the things u used to say to her to make her smile and all the other nicest things u did for her to show her how much she meant for u and how much u love her.
2007-03-22 17:25:34 · answer #8 · answered by ivelisse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the fire is gone you've seen, touched, or felt somthing yoou like better
2007-03-22 17:21:49 · answer #9 · answered by miss too cute 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋