My mother and I don't get along at all. She's very physically/mentally abusive of me and an alcoholic. I moved out of her house when I was 17, and have been living by myself for years. I don't know my father.
I have a 8 year old half brother who is my whole life who I see once a week. She does not abuse him. Only me for some reason.
But every time I go to my mother's house to see him (which is once a week) she starts something with me.
I would take my little brother to live with me but I'm not in the right financial situation for that.
I try asking her to drop him off at my apartment on Sunday's but then I have to worry about her picking him up when she's drunk (I don't have a car).
At this point it would be best for me to completely cut her out of my life but how can I do that without losing touch with my little brother?
Any suggestions?
2007-03-22 09:52:27 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
ALSO-For the people suggesting to just "ignore" her. I don't think you understand that my mother is physically abusive to me for NO reason. You can't ignore that.
That's why I want to stay away from her while still seeing my brother.
2007-03-22 10:03:24 · update #1
I don't think people know how to read since someone suggesting waiting until I'm old enough to drive. I'm 23. I can't afford a car because I live in NYC on my own. Please read my question thoroughly before answering.
2007-03-22 10:05:18 · update #2
i dont have any suggestions, only my support, your a brave young lady and i only wish the best for you..prayers with you~your question made me cry to hard to formulate a real answer anyway~
2007-03-22 09:57:27 · answer #1 · answered by ~Cindy~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tough one, well first of all I understand that you can't afford your little brother financially and she may not be physically abusing him, however she is mentally and emotionally abusing him by harming you, and you and your brother seem to have a bond. If she is an alcoholic is that really the ideal place for him to be, what will happen if she does begin beating on him when she is drunk and goes to far. Your best bet is get temporary custody of your brother, through the state and generally the only why your mother will get him back is to complete a alcoholic program. I know you said you can't afford to raise him, but where there is a will there is a way and "big sister" you need that will cause your brother is in danger. Even if that danger is turning to the streets to escape home. Good luck!
2007-03-22 17:18:42 · answer #2 · answered by 20+ years and still in-love! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that you and your mother dont get along at all but your little brother needs you. You can still stop having things to do with your mom just go see your brother. If you think that your mom is that bad of an acholic maybe thats not the right place for your little brother to be. What if one day she decides to drive drunk with him. I know you said that she's not physically abusive towards him but it is child abuse to drink and drive with your child in the car. Its very sad that your mother had made you feel this way. Just try your hardes to ignore her and be there for you little brother. YOur probely the only chance for a normal life for him. good luck
2007-03-22 17:17:55 · answer #3 · answered by tcameron_2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest getting serious with her first. Document all assaults. She has no right to hit you: it is against the law. File charges.
That is huge...and scarey...but it is a fact.
Then, get a lawyer (even pro-bono) from legal aid, and ask for visitation rights, with guidelines as to how you should pick up and drop off your brother.
Example: She can lead him to the door, but you don't enter, and reverse on the return.
You need legal help, and your brother needs to see you assert yourself.
Be loving and forgiving if she changes her ways...be loving and assertive if she doesn't.
Good luck.
2007-03-22 17:18:14 · answer #4 · answered by donnam4863 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't cut her out of your life. Keep going there and just be your sweet self and ignore her remarks. Don't take them personally. It's possible she's making the mistake of associating you with your father somehow. Let her be childish, but don't cut her and your brother off, it will just be hard for you and him.
Just keep the ties, shallow as they maybe and wait until you can drive. It can't be that far off and in the meanwhile you can still see your family.
I feel for you. Good luck...
2007-03-22 17:01:38 · answer #5 · answered by TJTB 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you can always try to gaiin custody with the court and they will get someone to help you solve your financial problems if you explain your situation to them...GOOD LUCK and i hope you and your brother have a great life. You and your brother are all eachother needs.
2007-03-22 17:01:11 · answer #6 · answered by Alyssa W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do cut yourself out of your mothers life you of course would be excluding yourself of visits with your lil bro. Dont do it , you may be the only stability your brother has in his life
2007-03-22 17:03:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just try not to react to her starting a fight with you, it will be hard, but i would do it for the sake of my brother.
2007-03-22 16:59:15 · answer #8 · answered by Stuck in the middle of nowhere 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wish u the best,, i'm kinda in the same situation,,
2007-03-22 17:03:35 · answer #9 · answered by beautiful 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hun i lost my mom to cancer tell she can die of liver cancer if she drinks and try an intervetion.ohh and rehab
2007-03-22 17:12:47 · answer #10 · answered by livingexperience 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋