my 3 year old daughter is potty trained, but freaks out every time she has to poop. Help!?

Question

My daughter is three, and has been fully trained since she was a little over two. Pooping has always been a problem since day one of potty training. For the longest time she would only poop in a pullup, not in the toilet. She finally has stopped asking for pullups when she has to poop, and will sit on a potty seat, but she FREAKS out whenever she has to poop. She will carry on for days, every time she feels the sensation, crying, saying "poops are coming!" and freaking out. She'll hold it as long as humanly possible. She will eventually go in the potty, but its such a painful process. She has held it so long in the past that she ended up constipated and gave herself a fissure, which of course created a whole new set of nuerosis about it. Has anyone else gone through this, and any tips out there how to make her relax? Thanks so much!

Answer 1

Find out what exactly it is about going to the bathroom that she's trying to avoid. You could try making the bathroom a more friendly environment, like maybe getting a fishtank or some kid friendly art on the walls. Books are always fun for kids of that age (and kids of adult age, too), and who knows? You might find that you can't get her off the toilet if she gets the right book in her hands. If there's no particular cause she's steering clear of number two, try a book (like "Everybody Poops") or just explaining to her that it's how we keep healthy. Food goes in, it must come out. The longer she holds it in, the more painful it will be. She needs to understand that or she'll just develop a bigger complex about it.

Answer 2

I went through a similar thing with my son. This is what we tried, and it worked really well even though it sounds weird. Have your daughter get a favorite stuffed animal to take to the potty to make poo-poos. Tell her that the animal is scared and needs her to help him feel better. Have her help the animal on the potty and hold his hand while he sits there. Try and get her to encourage him a bit by telling him (its okay to make poo-poos in the potty...its not scary...etc...) Here is the strange part...grab a handful of raisins and when your daughter is busy comforting the animal on the potty, drop a few in the potty. Draw her attention to it (look! He made poo-poos in the potty!) After you flush, have her take a turn (she can even hold the stuffed animals hand). This worked with my son the same day we tried it. However, he insisted that about 6 more of his animals had to go potty. You could always have a little treat for her afterwards too as extra motivation. Good luck...I hope this helps!

Answer 3

It is ver normal for kids to go through this. Some kids are afraid of the sound it makes when it hits the water, and some are freaked out thinking they are losing a part of their body. I just had a problem with my 3 year old last week but id didn't last long. Try making a big deal when she goes telling her good job and giving hi fives. Tell her makes you proud. She will grow out of it. You just have to be patient.

Answer 4

If it's just the poop that scares her, make it into a game. Tell her everytime she gets a poopy in the potty, she gets to eat a _____ (jellybean, hershey kiss, m &m). My daughter is 23 months and loves that! Also, if it seems like it's hurting her, you may need to introduce more whole grains and fiber into her diet. I wouldn't want to go poop if it hurt that bad either! Try increasing fruits and veggies too. Good luck!

Answer 5

I think that guy "1hvaquestion" goes around saying the same thing "go ask a doctor" to people over and over and I really think its ignorant. I will try to report him, he said the same thing to me earlier about my son's earache. Probably some sorry little 14 yr old who no one will play with after school so his lonely little *** goes on the computer to hate! LOL
as for your daughter, hey I'm not their yet with my son, but if it were me, I would say try a psyciatrist may help, or the pediatrician, because to put it to her simply, if you hold it in it wil hurt more. stool softeners, maybe a smaller toilet, try to find out why she hates pooping in the toilet. does it splash her? maybe her poops hurt, in which case the colace could help, or maybe she has something wrong with her belly, a doctor could tell with a test. I have no idea, God, kids will really throw you for a loop and you feel so bad for them because they are small and helpless. good luck to you though.

Answer 6

If she is small make sure her feet rest on a stool or she is using the potty. Kids like to wiggle around on the toilet and sometimes their butt gets wet. If you dont like using fiber try playing a water glass game. Put water in small glasses for you and her and see how many she can drink. My cousin and I used to do that a lot.

Answer 7

My daughter who is three also had this problem after being potty trained. My doctor told me that it is very important to make sure she has lots of fiber in her diet so that it is easy to go to the bathroom. Making sure she has a lot of fiber every day has done the trick. I buy bread that has 5 grams of fiber in one slice etc.. I also started by using a child's laxative every day for several weeks to help her get regular again.
There is a juice you can buy on line called fiber-juice that has 12 grams of fiber.

Answer 8

it may sound strange but some kids are actually afraid of the water splashing up on their bottoms.....just talk to her when she is tryin to go poop help relax her joke around with her and make her laugh take her mind off of the fact that she is going poop

Answer 9

Go to the doctor and find out by a medically trained professional rather than coming onto yahoo answers for advice from complete and total strangers.

Answer 10

give her a laxative so she will go when she holds, next time tell her if she doesnt go u will give her another one and she will go