Our Mum wont let our Dad pick us up ?

Question

we always go to our Dads at least every other weekend and Dad always picks us up on Fridays, then brigs us home Sunday evenings, but mums said coz dad cant get you back early I've told him not to pick you up. thats not fair is it ? mum wont let us ring dad and i think she being very silly as Dad will be very sad and we still want to go to his.

What can we do ? What can dad do ? shall we go live with Dad but I dont know if we can ? I think our mums being tight dont you. What should we do, weve being going to dads for ages and its fun. thankyou.

Mum wont let us ring Dad coz its a mobile and she wont listen to us, we asked her before and she said its because you come back to late, but thats not true, we are not happy, just thought we could email dad but mum said no you cant, its really not fair.

Answer 1

You need to talk calmly and quietly to your mum and tell her that you enjoy the times that you spend with your dad and that you are happy with the routine that's been built up.
Your mum sounds like she is being a little unfair and probably stems from some new row that she has had with him, but it's not you that should suffer.
Don't fly off the handle at her, though, she might be hurting. Just talk to her really nicely.

Answer 2

This is never easy, but you need to talk to your mum as calmly as possible (I know mums can get a bit wound up!) explain how you feel.
If there was a Court Order saying when and where you Dad has contact then your Mum would be breaking that Order and your Dad would have to go back to Court and make an application. In this case the Citizens Advice probably wouldnt be able to help. There are solicitors who do family law and some offer a first viist of half an hour free your dad could look for one of those to have a quick word with.

Answer 3

She's made a judgement. She's based it on the time he is going to be able to bring you home. Her decision stands. She doesn't want you to start dragging your dad into this because she doesn't want an argument about it from him, you, or anybody. Monday's a school day. She has made the decision that you'd be coming home too late the night before a school day. So respect that. Stop yelling about how living with your Dad is even a solution to what basically is a decision she made.
Does she have responsibility for you? Does she follow your schoolwork progress with you? Does she think about whether you have clean clothes for school? Does she make your dinner? Does she take you to all your appointments? Guess what? She does a lot - so the 'I'm your parent and you'll do it because I said so!' sounds perfectly OK in this situation.

Answer 4

Sounds like your mom is using you kids to get back at your day, and that is really a shame. How old are you? I know in some states that when your 15 you can choose who to live with. Talk with you dad about getting custody of you if that would be the best thing. Also, have you told your mom how you feel.

Answer 5

How is the late drop off affecting your mom directly.

If it is just a control thing on her end then maybe you need to talk to her about it.

Why is your dad dropping you off late?

It is clear that some boundaries need to be established but not letting you see your dad is not the solution either.

Talk to both of your parents and let them know how important it is to you that you have a relationship with both of them.

Your mother should not be left to wait as it could cause her unnecessary worry as well as interrupt her routine.

If you dad is simply being inconsiderate of your mothers demands that is not fair either. Your mother has a life as well and establish routines is important.

You can see if a later drop off is possible, but random drop off times does not work either.

I drop off my son to his dad at 5p.m. this gets him fed and ready for school on Monday without disruption. It also gives his dad a chance to have time with him during the weekend before he goes to bed.

Does your dad have Internet.

E-mail him if you can.

Your parents need to have a dialog around this and to come up with an agreement that is fair to all.

Flexibility is crucial when it comes to kids, but routine is necessary as well.

Answer 6

Your Dad has every right to see you guys and you guys have every right to see your Dad. Its not fair for that to be taken away from either of you. If there are specified visitation on divorce papers or visitation papers then legally she cannot refuse to let him pick you all up. Plus Dad can always tell Mum that he will just take her to court over it. God bless and good luck

Answer 7

how old ru ? Cos until 16 you Carnot just leave .i went through the same thing when i was young its horrible i no your mum is out ov order just Cos she has problems with ya dad she is doin it to spite him .But she is properly worried you want 2 b with ya dad more just try talk to her or if you want i wud send your dad a email my email is [e-mail]. the only other thing is if ya dad goes to a family court 4 sum sort ov custody keep well hope it all works out take care an be safe don't run away please that is not right from Becky

Answer 8

Having been in this situation myself as a child it's really tricky. Have a chat with your mum, and explain that you understand that your dad is sometimes late dropping you off but by not letting you stay at his it's punishing you not him. Ensure her that you will speak to your dad and make sure he drops you home in time. Then have a word with your dad, and explain that him dropping you off late is causing grief with your mum.

If you are unhappy living with your mum could you arrange to spend a bit more time at your dads ?

Good Luck

Answer 9

Honestly if there is no abuse happening it sounds like it is just a power struggle and your dad is the one that is going to have to fight for his rights to see you.. He has to get the courts involved.. or bring the cops with him on his weekend so that she has no choice but to let you go.. but then you won't want to come back home.. if you are old enough and it is a good enviroment over at your dad's you could choose who you want to live with.. but I would see for real what your mom's reasoning is..

Answer 10

Ask your dad to get you back on time. Tell your mum how you feel. No, she's not being fair but then you don't know her fears and problems either. Can you get your gran or aunt or another adult to talk to her?