Am I in the wrong?

Question

My bf and i live together, in a very nice neighborhood, (3rd story condo)
His mom was over for dinner and ended up leaving at around 10:30 at night...
And I am used to men walking ANYONE out that late at night. So i tell him ok ill see you when you come back up....
He gives me a weird look, and i say , "your not going to walk your mom to her car?"
And he goes "no she can call me when she gets to her car. she parked so far away"

Long story short, this is something that is bothering me. ALOT. It is affecting my feelings for him.... COME on thats your mom, and she is alone, walking to her car that is parked far away at ten at night.... granted, we are in a good neighborhood, but still. . . My father taught my brothers that you walk any woman out to her car....

Am I over re-acting? This is really bothering me and I feel like he a complete jerk, and I am shocked.... please help

I told him how i felt and he thinks that i am over re-acting..... Then brought it up again in an argument, and he says im looking for an argument. Tell me im not crazy? He wants to have kids one day and i would like it if the father of my children would raise them with a sense of common curtosy for others.

Answer 1

I would seriously rethink you relationship with this man. It is common courtesy for a gentleman to walk a lady to her car, especially for a young man to walk his mother.

That shows respect and concern and caring. It does not matter how good of a neighborhood you live in, it is just common sense. I would expect my husband and/or son to walk out any guests to their vehicle and wait until it was started and safely on the road.

I certainly would not want to be considering marrying and having children with a man who acted so irresponsible. You are not over-reacting at all. I would seriously reconsider this relationship.

Answer 2

Maybe a bit of overreaction, but still, he should have had the decency to walk his mother out late at night. Don't let this bother you, just talk to him about it. Confront the situation. Let him know that the little things that he is overlooking, is really irritating. Discuss the differences between the way you were brought up and the way he was brought up.. I'm sure you'll come to some sort of compromise. Tell him that he needs to show a little be more respect, consideration, and generosity when it comes to others.
But don't let little things like this ruin your relationship.. these are little issues that are able to be discussed and resolved.
Hope this helped.

Answer 3

Here's the thing. He should have walked her to her car. But no one is perfect. There is no one perfect guy who has all the exact qualities that you want. Is this particular thing a deal breaker for you? Or can you accept this particular flaw? Overall is he a good bf, a good son, and a potential good father? Can he be forgiven this one fault? I would say take it or leave, but don't keep throwing it in his face. My guess is that you aren't perfect either and that there are things about you that he has accepted also.

Answer 4

You're not crazy. You're exactly right. That would bother the hell out of me. Men always walk a woman to her car, ESPECIALLY their mother, the woman that gave birth to and raised them. It doesn't matter what kind of neighborhood you live in, anyone could be lurking. Your boyfriend needs to sharpen up and show some manners.

Answer 5

You are over-reacting.

However if that is the way you feel and he doesn't feel the same, it's better to know now than later. Here is the deal, you now know this about him so if you marry him you can't bring it up later. It's the way he is, you either accept it or move on. It's your choice but you only get to make it now.

Answer 6

You should have walked your mother to her car and if you feel that that your bf is a total jerk, you need to step back and look into the mirror. Sound to me that He is a decent friend which you should also appreciate more..

Answer 7

you are totaly right, he is a jerk, especially these days.

aparently he wasn't raised very good.
i raised my son to be a gentleman and he does very good at it.

growing up i studied people, and most men are jerks, hate to say it because i am one.

i mostly raised myself. but did learn alot.

Answer 8

If his mom wanted to be walked to her car and thought it was disrespectful of him not too, she would have taught him that a longg time ago

Answer 9

You two are different in dealing with this situation. You might want to ask his mom to see how she feels about it.

Answer 10

Not over reacting, but you have to realize, he is not you. You would do these things and maybe you can train him to do some of them, but don't bet the farm on it.