me and my boyfriend have been best friends since 2005. and he asked me out last october. i am very much in love with him but he doesnt treat me right. he gets jealous of every living thing, makes me sacrafice the things i love, we argue at least once a day, doesnt keep promises, and doesnt let me hang out with my guy-friends. he is very protective and he also forced me into things i didnt want to do. im in love with the person he was before we were going out but i dont know if i love the "new" man im dating now. should i break up with him? or should i give him a chance?
2007-03-22 09:24:27 · 33 answers · asked by italady09 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Are you stupid? Yes! Sorry, I do not mean to sound mean, but leave that man. You deserve much, much better than that and you know it. I don't care if you been friends with him since kindergarden. Lose him. If he really love you, he realize what he id doing wrong and change, but don't go back to him immediately.
P.S. I'm a girl on my boy as a friend's account. (I hate saying boyfriend)
2007-03-22 09:40:07 · answer #1 · answered by Xander C. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe breaking up with him will wake him up a bit. My husband acted much like this when we were first married. I couldn't talk to family, I had to watch what I wore, I couldn't have friends. It was horrible. I eventually left, and things changed. He realized how miserable he was without me. I sat him down and told him that this is not what I want out of life and that I love him with all my heart and soul. I explained to him that he should not feel insecure with me, to feel secure that he has a wife who loves him so much. I told him both people in this relationship need to be happy, and if it mean loosening up a bit... then that what we should do. I am 31 now and we have been married for 10 years. It has not always been easy, but if you love eachother it might just work out. Communication is the key!! Good luck.
2007-03-22 09:31:45 · answer #2 · answered by Michelle Lynn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men are opssessive by nature, and your guy is. I don't think that you should put up with him and sacrifice whatever thing you love just because he wanted so. This is your life we are talking about, I know what comprimise is, but not to the point that it changes your personality. You will become a different person than the person he used to know, even though you changing would be a direct result of his selfish requests and demands.
differentiate between comprimise and totally giving in. If you want to hang out with your guy friends, do it, but not to the extent that makes him jealous and do talk about it with him because it is just so important for each partner to know where he/she stands.
Talk to him about the whole situation. Tell him he's changed than the first time you met him, and that's changing you too to someone whom he might not like.....convince him with your thoughts, because honestly, this issue is a drop dead serious one because it really might lead to split up between you two if not fully, and thoroughly discussed and understood by both of you.
2007-03-22 09:34:11 · answer #3 · answered by peachy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Deciding to stay or go depends on how well he can learn and how well you can teach.
He doesn't treat you right and forces you to do things you don't want - determine how you want to be treated and tell him. There is no "forcing" in a loving relationship, only compromise and compassion. You shouldn't be forced to do anything you don't want and need to make sure he knows it. If he isn't willing to make the effort to treat you the way you want or if he isn't willing to compromise, you have to be willing to walk away from the relationship.
He makes you sacrifice the things you love including relationship with guy-friends - He is insecure, distrusting and probably immature. Only he can fix these problems but you can help if you are willing to. It will not be easy. You need to help him feel comfortable in your relationship but not let it interfere with what you want to do. If you want to hang out with friends, invite him to join. If he doesn't want to, don't just give up your plans. Tell him that you are going and will give him a call when you get back. Don't make it a big deal, just a matter of fact, but make sure you do call if you said you would. If he consistently gets upset that he is not the center of your universe, be willing to walk away. You need to have your own circle of activity, as does he. If either of you is all consumed with the other, it is not healthy for the relationship. You need to have your interests, he needs to have his, and then you both need to have the things you enjoy together.
He doesn't keep promises - Why doesn't he? Do you want to be in a relationship with someone who can't keep promises? You need to tell him how it makes you feel when he breaks his promises and when he does break promises, hold him accountable. Don't let him get away with it. If you let him get away with breaking small promises (calling when he said he would, helping you out if he said he would, etc.) he will feel he can get away with breaking the big promises (being faithful to you).
Truthfully, if you are under 23, you might be better off just breaking things off, because you are still learning more about yourself as an adult . . . who you truly are, what you want in life, what ambitions you have, what values mean a lot to you, etc. If you stay with him, he may grow out of the jealousy but as he grows and learns about himself, he may find you do not fit into his life. Bottom line - you are responsible for how you are treated. If you don't like the way anyone treats you, you need to teach them how you wish to be treated.
2007-03-22 10:24:24 · answer #4 · answered by YoGoManGo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him to the curb! Why would you want to be in a relationship where you are guaranteed an argument a day! Yuck. Live is too short. Let him argue with someone else for the rest of his life while you find someone fabulous to hang with.
2007-03-22 09:29:56 · answer #5 · answered by huckleberry 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break up with him. If a guy is forcing you into things and making you sacrifice things you love, then you're heading down a bad road. I was in a relationship like that and it lead to him hitting me... jealousy is okay in moderation, but not like you're explaining.
People change. It's very possible to be in love with the man he used to be, and not who he is now...
2007-03-22 09:29:17 · answer #6 · answered by beckyvincenzes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think that you should break up with him do it before you both get hurt. But if you really truly care about him and want to be with him than I dont see the point of this question lol Good Luck!
2007-03-22 09:33:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a story that has been around forever. You cannot keep thinking of who he "was", you have to live in the reality of who he IS!! It does not sound like he is the guy for you. You deserve better, you deserve respect and trust... not an insecure bully, which is what it sounds like to me. He is working from fear and that doesn't get better over time!
2007-03-22 09:29:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say give him a chance to prove himself, let it be known to him that you love him but he has changed. Tell him you wanna work things out. And then if he continues on the same, dump him.
2007-03-22 09:29:43 · answer #9 · answered by Stylegirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why stay with him? You didn't say one good thing, it sounds like he's changed since you first met him, and not a change for the good, get out while you can, before you get really hurt!
2007-03-22 09:27:22 · answer #10 · answered by Valerie S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋