should i keep it a secret?

Question

i know this guy from ages ago, we used to like eachother and kissed but that was all because he had a girlfriend then i moved away and lost contact.
now he has contacted me again, hes single now. ive met up with him a few times but all my friends and family hate him. i really like him and he has even told me he loves me.
should i continue 2 see him secretly. i cant stop thinking about him and it hurts.

Im 19 hes 23. they tell me he seems strange!??

Answer 1

Well, sometimes you have to follow your heart. However, in my experience, when my family or friends didn't like a guy there was usually a very good reason for it even if I didn't see it or agree at the time. Please take a good look at this guy, his character, the way he treats you and the way he treats other people. And keep in mind that he kissed you while dating someone else which in my experience is not a good thing, he may do the same thing to you. How does he talk about his ex-girlfriend? Why did they split up? Because if he talks trash about her, it means that he didn't learn anything from the experience, he blames her for everthing that went wrong and has taken no responsibility for the issues of his relationship and is treating someone he supposedly cared about quite poorly. If he talks more positively about her that's a good sign. So I suggest taking a good look at him and also find out why your friends and family don't like him and if there is anything to the reasons they have given. Just be good to yourself and make good decisions when you choose who to date.

Answer 2

Make sure he's REALLY worth it before you get into anything truly serious... like some other answerers said above, he kissed you when he was already dating someone else - what if he cheats?

Maybe your family and friends have a reason for disliking him. Try to talk to them and ask them what's going on - maybe he has some traits that you don't realize or know about him that upset others.

I don't think it should be a secret, unless you're not planning to be with him for more than a few months. It's impractical. Are you going to pretend you're single for the rest of your life?

Answer 3

who's dating this guy, you or your family/friends? If it's u why would u worry about what other people think. Sometimes when we fall in love we are blinded by the overwhelming emotions and we are unable to see certain flags we should take heed to. I don't think that ALL of your friends and family would be wrong about a person. Maybe you need to step back for a sec and really analyze the person you are about to spend a lot of you time with. There could be something you are missing. Love is too great of a feeling to have to keep bottled up inside. You shouldn't have to sneak with your boo, ya feel me!!!

Answer 4

You should never see a person in secret. Being in love is about cherishing your time together, you wont be doing that if you are constantly trying to hide what you are sharing. If your parents dont like him there is usually a reason. You said he kissed you when he was dating another girl, and that is probably the reason why. They can see right through him. You are setting yourself up for heartache. Trust me, you arent too special to where he wouldnt do the same thing to you. He sounds untrustworthy and I wouldnt risk it. Have some respect for yourself. You are too young to be sneaking around like that.

Answer 5

Do what is good for YOU, not your family and friends. Ultimately this is your life and you are responsible for the decisions you make, good or bad...sometimes family and friends can see things that you can't (love is blind) and that's why they may dislike him, but also remember that he was kissing you when he was with someone else, so really who's to say he won't do it to you with another girl?! If you like him that much, then it's worth a shot, just don't jump head first into water that might not be that deep! Try to think with your brain and not with your heart. Good luck doll! :)

Answer 6

First of all, he kissed another girl while he was already dating someone. What makes you think when you're the girlfriend he won't cheat on you? There must be some reason your friends and family don't like this guy...it's not hard to see.

Answer 7

You have to think about the reason why your family and friends don't like him. Try to see it from their points of view. You can in the meantime continue to see him and maybe even reintroduce him to your family and friends like a new beginning. If it's been ages ago, it's possible that he has changed. Hopefully, they will come around. It just takes them seeing the good in him, that's all.

Answer 8

I guess the question would be why your friends and family hate him. Sometimes others see things we do not. If there are reasons why no one else likes him you should take a good look at this guy and see if it's just a passing crush.

Answer 9

I wouldn't keep it secret if you are truly serious about him, it just means problems later. You have to look at your relationship as long term and your family will have to just get over their feelings about him. It's your feelings for him that count, right. I was in your same boat with my husband 10 years ago. Your family will eventually adjust, but if you allow them to live your life and make your decisions, then in the long run your relationship will be strained. It's best to just be honest and tell your family that you care alot about him and that this is your choice to make and tell them you would appreciate their support.

Good luck. It sure isn't going to be easy, but I know you can do it.

Answer 10

well it depends why doesnt your family like him? If you really like him and he isnt a jerk then keep it to your self have fun have stolen moments of passion and love but dont expect it to get seroius if you cant tell any one about it because then when you do things are going to get complicated and go wrong so if you see yourself having a future with this guy then you might as well let it out now. or just have fun hey your young.