We are trying to keep our wedding as low budget as possible while still having it classy. My fiance`s aunt used to be a caterer for years until she decided to quit b/c of her Lyme disease. I know that she isn't a caterer anymore, but would it be acceptable to ask her to cater our wedding of 60-70 people? If she agrees should we pay her or just pay for the food?
2007-03-22 08:53:49 · 14 answers · asked by Mommy 2 B 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I don't think it would be out of line to ask her casually, bring it up and she might offer. Yes, you should pay her, which should include the food. If she refuses, at least you offered.
2007-03-22 08:57:44 · answer #1 · answered by lovin' life... 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hooo boy... that takes the cake... you want to ask a sick woman to cook for 70 people so you can save money? And wonder if you should pay her too? Right off the bat I can tell that you might as well give up on the classy part of your wedding... class has nothing to do with money but everything to do with attitude and style, both of which are missing in that question!
A good friend of mine is a part time caterer, and after a few experiences working for friends, has sworn off doing it forever! It's no fun to be working at occasions where you should be a guest, and the whole money issue can become a problem too. Someone always feels taken advantage of... it's just not worth going there.
2007-03-25 22:10:16 · answer #2 · answered by endorable 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it never hurts to ask. Don't get too upset if she declines though. Catering a wedding meal for 60-70 people is a massive undertaking, with huge amounts of work involved. It may turn out she just isn't up to it. Yes you should absolutely pay for her services and the food if she agrees to do this for you. Who knows? She may say that her services are her wedding gift to you, but you still must offer.
2007-03-22 09:36:33 · answer #3 · answered by MelB 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It never hurts to ask, but be prepared for her to say no. If she quit the business due to Lyme disease, there's more than a good chance that she's not up to undertaking the job of catering for 60-70 people. Lyme disease is an extremely physically debilitating and exhausting disease (I speak from experience) and it may be too much for her. Best thing you can do is ask her, but let it be known that the decision is up to her and there is no pressure on her to do this.
2007-03-22 09:59:56 · answer #4 · answered by larkinfan11 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she is willing to consider this, you should certainly pay her. And you should come to a definite agreement with her as to how much she will be paid so that neither of you have any misconceptions about the agreement.
She may agree to do part of it, like the cake, as her wedding gift to you. This should of course be her suggestion, not yours.
When our son got married, we had the daughter of a friend cater the wedding. We paid her for all of her expenses plus $12.00 per hour plus a tip of something like $100.00.
One mistake that people make in planning weddings is not having firm agreements as to financial matters. It can cause bad feelings on the day of the wedding. You should try to avoid that at all costs.
Hope everything goes beautifully.
2007-03-22 09:10:38 · answer #5 · answered by Tricia R 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sometimes it does hurt to ask-it puts the other person in a very uncomfortable position, which is not playing fair. you say you want to be classy? as a relative and guest she should not have to worry about a thing, she will never relax as long as she responsible for the food, and if she did--of course you pay her for her time and effort! wanting it low budget doesn't give you the right to be a burden on anyone, she wants you to see her for herself, his aunt, not as a caterer.
2007-03-22 11:29:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think maybe a good idea would be to ask her to go to lunch with y'all one day and ask her then. I would definitely say pay for the food and pay her by the hour and instead of a generous tip give her a service gift in return... like if she hates to grocery shop then make a coupon book for grocery shopping for 2 months for free and she pays the grocery shopping bill but u do the actually shopping.... Most likely she will be thrilled to hear that she will have a big part in your special day... but don't get your feelings hurt if she cant do it most likely for physical reasons. When working with family, you must understand their could be difficulties including disagreement of menu to tardiness or even on a later date deciding she doesn't or cant do it.
2007-03-22 09:30:18 · answer #7 · answered by katie d 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just talk to her about it first...... It really depends on his aunt and I am sure she'll tell you what she wants but offer to pay. My fiance's family tried to get me to use their married in aunt for my flowers because she is a retired florist and it was BAD. She wanted More then the fancy flower shop and was real pushy and nasty to me. I wanted all roses and she told me that was impossible.
I went to the nicest flower shop in town and got a better price and what I wanted- All roses!!
Sometimes family isn't good idea to involve in with biz and wedding stuff.
2007-03-22 09:03:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's ok to ask, but don't be offended if she says no. She may not have the equipment anymore (large pans, etc). If she accepts, ask what she'll charge before you finalize anything. She may be just as expensive as using another caterer. good luck
2007-03-22 09:05:42 · answer #9 · answered by J M 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You can ask and just tell her up front you understand if she doesn't want to do it. That way she doesn't feel obligated. If she does agree ask for her to come up with a fair price. She may offer to do it as a gift to you but you cannot assume that. Just be open and honest and she'll do the same.
2007-03-22 09:28:16 · answer #10 · answered by Ambre B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋