My gf and I met right out of college, started dating, and 4 months later she was transferred to a large city. I quit my job and we moved in together in this new environment. We were madly in love, talked about marriage, and all was good, but it may not have been the right thing to do. 3 years later, I still love her and it hurts my heart to think of being without her, but he sparkle has faded. She wants to be married and I don't know if I see a life together. My parents don't care for her much, her two younger sisters are both engaged, and most of her good friends are married. She asks me about getting married and I have no answers. I feel like I am being pulled in 2 different directions! I think I may want to be single and test the waters... How do you break up with someone you live with? I read a lot about just telling her the truth - even though it will hurt. Living together further complicates matters, too. What do I do???
2007-03-22 08:48:08 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Both of our names are on the lease.
2007-03-29 10:11:06 · update #1
Save up enough money so you can continue to pay you share of rent until the lease is over then find your own place and run like hellllllllllllll
2007-03-22 11:32:46 · answer #1 · answered by Milla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been living with this girl for so long, it's not even going to mean much to you to get married - you've already been getting all the sex you want and she even does the laundry and cooks meals, too, I'll bet. Attention, young women - that old 'why buy the cow when you get the milk for free' adage must be true!
Just break up with her by breaking the lease and paying a penalty or subletting the apartment. Watch her cry, know that you are breaking her heart, take off down the road and duck while you wait for heaven to strike you dead with lightning bolts for being such an ****** to begin with.
There will be retribution of some form when word gets around what a sleaze bag you are but not if you keep low and frequent the bars where nobody knows you - the girls will be more likely to help you 'test the waters' there.
Ugh. 3 years later, you 'still love her' what self-delusion potion have you been drinking?
2007-03-30 08:23:37 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't break up with someone that isn't yours. She is married. Tell her you were wrong to start anything with her and now your finished. Personally she doesn't deserve an explanation. Just stop seeing her and don't take her calls anymore. She'll get the message.
2016-03-28 23:57:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok woah u should have thought about all this b4 u dated her for 3 yrs and then moved in 2gether. u dont have 2 break up w/ her just stay engaged n try 2 see if it works out. the honeymoon is over (it's just an expression, being that your not married) but yea after 3 years ur not goin 2 have that "sparkle" ne more... things change... if u love her u need 2 stick w/ her n tell her how u feel. if u break up w/ her n "test the waters" u may realize that was ur bigger mistake!
2007-03-29 19:29:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a coward like you, we dated for 10 yrs right out of H.S.
He yes-ed me to death about a future and marriage. How do you think it went over after 10yrs all my single friends married and now I am still single at 29 starting all over again with no one to go out with because on a weekend married woman are with there husband and kids not looking to hang. I wish he would have told me sooner then later.
If in your heart this is not the girl you want to spend the rest of your life with then you at least need to respect her enough to be honest. Sure it will hurt and she will be upset but, you continuing to lead her on, waist her time and make her think it was going to happen is cruel and wrong. As far as your parents go I am sure they are nice people but, if you are looking to get there approval on who you marry I feel sorry for you. You say the sparks faded what do you think will happen when your married to who ever for a while? Do you get a divorce when the sparks fade. Grow up. Be a man and tell her the truth. The longer you continue this the worse it will be.
2007-03-30 08:13:06 · answer #5 · answered by Kat G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can live together and be quite happy. You don't have to be married. Maybe down the road if it feels right. On the other hand if you don't see a life together, then why stay. It will hurt you both more in the end. Follow your heart.
2007-03-22 09:09:45 · answer #6 · answered by Lori F 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell her the truth.
You owe her and yourself that much.
Prolonging things is not going to make things any easier.
Start by looking for a place to transition into and what and how you are going to go about dividing your things. It is quite likely that the two of you have purchased things together and will need to deal with these things when you leave.
You are what is known as a common law couple and should check what your rights and responsibilities are.
Chances are when you stop to think about what is wrong it is not as bad as calling things off.
Tell her simply that you are not ready to get married and you have no answer as to when you might want to.
Only you know how to go about this but it must be done.
2007-03-30 07:39:08 · answer #7 · answered by makeda m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you marry her without being sure about it you´ll just hurt her more in the long run but i dont understand you say you love her and you dont want to be without her whats the problem then? its not exciting anymore= thats life. i mean if you break up and move out, never see her again, could you live with that? if the answers is yes, just move out
2007-03-30 08:03:34 · answer #8 · answered by shoko_valensi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to get married, don't do it.
I do feel that you should tell your girlfriend everything that you've said here. Her reaction will tell you what you should do.
If you decide to break up with her, have a place to go before doing so.
If you are not happy now, marriage will not fix the problem.
Best luck.
2007-03-22 08:53:58 · answer #9 · answered by Abby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you love her and do not want to hurt her;you should marry her.Whether to marry or not to marry is a question which has no concrete answer.
2007-03-30 07:23:30 · answer #10 · answered by laxmi kumar n 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋