Question about in laws........?

Question

My mother in law recently visited us , she stayed for about 2 months........both of us took care of her in every way........
Today my husband recd. a mail from my father in law , which had all the words of appreciation for my husband (appreciating him for the way he took care of my mom in law & so on .................) , no where was my name mentioned in the whole mail............
becoz of that i'm feeling terribly sad & depressed , am i exaggerating ?

Answer 1

HI
Unfortunately the daughter in law is sometimes resented when she has to care of the mother in law, don't know why maybe they think their own kids should do it all or maybe just uncomfortable with you helping her but at least you did your best and maybe sometime soon you'll be acknowledge but don't hold your breathe waiting just do your best and pat your own self on the back.
Lammy

Answer 2

Dear,

It was sad to read about your name missing from the appreciation list. Please reply to your father in law in following words.

It was very nice to see MIL here who were here for last 2 months. Did not realize as how the 2 months past soon. Learned so many things under her kind suggestion. She loved me and treated me as my mother would do. We have a nice relation with each other. Ever since she left us, I miss her lot. I miss you too. Please visit both when you come next time and give me the chance to serve you a nice food.

Karmanye Vadhikaraste ma faleshu kadachanam. means you have only right to perform. An appreciation of that is depend upon someone's hand. Be patient and the sam ewill come back to you.

Have a nice day

Regards

Answer 3

hi dear,
its obvious that you felt sad. but the first thing that you should do is ask yourself if you took care of her for any appreciation.
If yes then you were wrong in doing that.
If no then take this email as a bonus. Also recollect the expressions when you were taking care of her. what were they? did she dislike or she liked it. One more point here is does it any where in the mail mention that your husband was the only one who took care and you did not. If yes then you need to speak to your husband and ask waht must have gone worng. If no then please dont presume that they didnt appreciate your work. take this in the right spirit.
take care

Answer 4

Hello Dear, take it easy this is life. There is no use that you keep thinking about this and spoiling you health. Life is full of selfish and ungrateful people and so thinking about them will in no way ease your tension. Particularly In laws are meant to be this way. In my native language Tamil there is a saying 'Give even a broomstick the position of a mother-in-law and it will do the dancing it has to do' Thank God atleast she did not trouble you and torture you when she stayed with you. If you mail me then I can give you examples from my family life when my dear wife even after doing all the unnecessary routines in our house in addition to managing our infant son, what gratitude she receives from her MIL that is 'my mother'. I always stand for the truth even if it makes me an enemy even to my parents. Pray that your husband will be with you in all situations and not fall off by the pressure from his ungrateful parents. Take it easy and enjoy life, God Bless you, bye..

Answer 5

Yes you are exaggerating ! if your mother will come & go back what ever your mom will talk to you father your father will write & appriciate to you not your husband. This is because she is closely related to you not to your husband. We have dual policy. What we want from our sister-in law we don't want to do the same for our in laws.
Just do the same what you want from your sister-in-law. Or just do the same what you expect from your parents. Thay are his parents he/them love each other as much as much we love our parents.It does not matter they did not write to you. What matters is that they are happy about your family reception. Either it is you & your husband. You or your soulmate. It is the same thing.
I appriciate good daughters-in law & I feel you are a very good daughter in law. Try to keep it up. This is what is family life get love get respect. Love & respect goes togather.
Do not have sower feeling for your in laws.They are good but you are better.

Answer 6

hi.You are not all exaggerating.Its a fact that u took care of ur mother-in-law but u did not get any appreciation.But just think about it twice.U have done ur job and duty properly.Ur husband also know it very well.So u need not worry about those mails.Think about ur husband and spend life happily.u r really a good bohu and u will surely get reward for this by any means.So just enjoy.

Answer 7

you are not exaggerating , you are disappointed , I'd prefer that he didn't send this mail at all , he is thanking his son while he shouldn't thank him because that is his duty towards his parents , and he didn't thank you for your generosity , and kindness with her , the one to be blame about this is your husband , he should reply to his father , telling him that you are the one who should be thanked a lot not him , and he should thank you as will for what you did to his mother ( I do this to my wife in such things because she is a good wife just like you ) but this ungratefulness , mustn't make you change , stay as you are and one day you will get the appreciation that you deserves from the whole family

Answer 8

so u r not happy what u did

or i should say u r doing it to b good i front of you mother in law to hav a certificate of good daughter in low

oh!! just stop thinking

what is your main idea behind caring just caring for you name or caring for seva and love.

dear what a big deal they appreciate your husband and not u

the main thing lie that ur husband is appreciated b'coz you r good and and caring wife and daughter in law

depression in such a small thing

u r talking like a school child who get a team project and his partner is appreciated and not that child than he told his mother and mother explain that dear team work is successful when it is done is good team and any one is appreciated that means that the work of team is good.

being a good team member is important and not a leader

so just be happy that at least they appreciated and express there happiness

there are many few in-law who express there happiness

i can understand dear it is a human nature to expect good praise if he/she do good and if not than he things that other r very mean and etc.......

but just be good should b your main idea god and your husband knows that u r good that is enough

Answer 9

I'm sure he was talking about the both of you. but if not your husband should call him or write him back and say look (so and so) helped to care for mom also it wasn't just me, i could not have done it without her help so please thank her also. in laws are just funny they think no one is good enough for their kids. so i wouldn't take it too much to heart. the bottom line is you and your husband know the truth and of course his mother. so go with that and don't sweat the small stuff. :)

Answer 10

Anshwika,
A father does not need to appreciate his son, for taking care of his son's mother. If he is writing such a thing, in all probability he wants to appreciate you.
But he is as shy as you are talking about him - thats all. Would you be able to compliment your father in law in a letter written to you mom-in-law without feeling a little embarassed ? Understand his emotions ....

Yours is a great family . Relax