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My husband and I work at the same company. Husband is on travel and is very busy. A co-worker wants his cell phone number so he can talk to him about a project they are working on here.

My husband and I do not want to give our cell phone number out to co-workers. We pay for the phone and the service ourselves, and we use it for personal calls and our own convenience. We don't want people at work to have the number, because some of the people don't understand boundaries between work and personal life and would call evenings, mornings, weekends if they could.

I have told this co-worker politely three times now that I have told my husband to call him. Co-worker doesn't seem to get the point that my husband knows co-worker wants to call him, has co-workers phone number at work, and if he hasn't returned the call it's because he's busy. Any advice?

2007-03-22 08:41:55 · 14 answers · asked by Karin C 6 in Society & Culture Etiquette

Snowball, m'dear, my husband and I have been married for 29 years, during which time he has worked with many attractive young women, some of whom he regularly travelled on business with, and I never have a problem with that. His co-workers know that if they need to reach him when he's on travel, I will pass along the info the moment he calls me.

The person who is trying to reach my husband is a 59-year-old MALE engineer with a reputation for pestiness, and the reason my husband has not been able to return his calls is that he is at a secured facility from which he cannot receive or make cell phone calls, and frankly what he's doing there is more important than what the pest wants him for (his judgement, not mine, that's what he told me when I passed along word the guy wanted to talk to him).

FWIW, for grins I have passed your post along to my husband, and I'm sure he's going to think it's a howl. You are an amazing piece of work and a real hoot.

2007-03-22 12:16:32 · update #1

BTW, I do have a life-- and work-- of my own, and it interrupts my work when someone who works with my husband calls me to badger me about his cell phone number. My husband and I have worked at the same company together for over 20 years, in different departments of course, and I actively discourage people from involving me in his work precisely because I don't want to get a reputation as an interfering wife. I personally think that it's sort of unprofessional for someone to seek out the spouse of someone they work with and ask her to run interference for them so they can get hold of them, but hey, that's just me. I assume that most sentient people can call and leave messages for my husband, which he checks every hour or so when he can, when he's on travel, and faithfully returns ASAP, or can eMail him, which he also checks periodically during the day. Neither of those methods involves me and I don't want to be involved, thank you very much-- I have my own job to do.

2007-03-22 12:21:35 · update #2

14 answers

Just tell him we don't give out our cell phone number becuase it is not used for business and if you need to speak with my husband you need to contact him at work. And he will return your call when he can. Thank you.

2007-03-22 08:52:24 · answer #1 · answered by Babe 5 · 1 0

A good way to start out is: The company has not issued my husband a cell phone. Oh, you mean his personal phone. Sorry, with the expense of it, we just use it for family. I will be happy to pass the message on to him.

My sister had the same problem at work. She has her supervisor's personal cell number as a "just in case," but the head of the company frequently asks her for the number. I don't know when people will get the idea that, though you want to do a good job, you are not on duty 24/7. What in the world did these people do before cell phones?

2007-03-22 21:46:42 · answer #2 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0 0

Yes, tell the coworker what you've told us in the question. There's nothing impolite about the fact you and your husband have decided that your cells should be private.

There's nothing offensive whatsoever about just telling the coworker the truth. I bet you get an 'oh, I see' and the subject never comes up again.

It is strange though that your husband is unreachable to a coworker on a business project. That isn't very professional, it seems like there should be some line of communication between them (not the cells, some sort of business phone at least he can be reachable at).

2007-03-22 15:54:18 · answer #3 · answered by Jon S 3 · 1 0

Since your husband travels a lot, your company should provide him with a Blackberry or cell phone for business use. He can decide whether to have it on during non-business hours.

2007-03-22 18:50:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Yes, tell this person that the cell is strictly for "family calls and emergencies" that is all. I quite agree with you on this.

No further explanation is necessary.

Repeat that he will get back to coworker when returns.
You are not an answering service for coworker.

Keep repeating the same thing, person will eventually clue in.

2007-03-22 18:41:26 · answer #5 · answered by Pacifica 6 · 0 0

I'm a 30 year old proessional woman, and I'm going to be very upfront and honest with you. One of the biggest annoyances I've encountered in my profession is "the controlling wife". I have come across so many wives who think that every woman who works with their husband is out to date him.That co-worker probably is in desperate need of some serious information that only your husband has---and you are being a typical controlling wife by not allowing the co-worker to complete the project. Wives like you are a pain in the asss. There are many wives who insist upon working at their husbands jobs----and you know full well that you work on the job with your husband to monitor and make sure that "no other woman" will be stealing his attention and to controll his behavior. Every time I see a wife working at the husbands jobs, I know I'm looking a desperate, clingy woman trying to hold on to her husband and marriage with all her might.

Your husband is being extremely unprofessional by not returning her phone calls--and I'm sure its because he knows that you are watching is every move and is scared--especially since you are playing the go-between. I hope the big bosses are taking note of how your husband is "unavailable" to his co-workers while working on important projects. Unless your husband is Donald Trump and running a 2 Billion dollar empire--I see no reason why his collegues shouldnt have access to him and why he can't return phone calls. That my dear--is called "etiquette".

Well, keep your husband cell number--and hope that female co-worker does a fanstastic job, takes all the credit on her own, gets a promotion, and fires you and your husband.

I would strongly suggest that you get a life and a job of your own. If your husband is going to cheat--he will find a way no matter how many hours you work at his office--hell, he could be doing it on his "business trip".

EDIT______________________
Well, looks like I had you pegged all wrong. Glad that I could provide some laughs to you and your husband anyhow. Since I myself has suffered because of the ever present "interfering wife" (and I even saw a lovely young woman get fired over an "interfering wife"), I thought this was the case. At any rate, my apologies, and tell your husband to check his doggone messages so that guy will stop pestering you.

2007-03-22 18:27:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 3

I would tell him that you pay the cell bill and that when the company supplies you with company phones you would be happy to give out that number, but for now you will take a message.

2007-03-22 15:53:11 · answer #7 · answered by mars1021 2 · 0 0

I agree with everyone on this one. Just be upfront with the guy and tell him that the phones are for personal use. Then tell the very pushy guy that you have told your husband that he is trying to get in touch him. Once your husband has the time to call you Mr. pushy he will

2007-03-22 16:39:49 · answer #8 · answered by mloinc 4 · 0 0

Tell the co-worker ypur husbands number is confidential or tell a white lie (i.e my husband got a new cell and I don't know his number or My husband cell does not work)

2007-03-22 15:47:18 · answer #9 · answered by SM 3 · 0 0

Bless you for sticking to your guns, er cell phones. Simply say:

No, they are for private use, not business. Talk to him at work.

The coworker will think you odd, but I respect your demands for privacy. As we become more electronically "plugged in" our etiquette has drained away. Etiquette is the veneer that holds civilization together..........

2007-03-22 15:58:23 · answer #10 · answered by fluffernut 7 · 0 0

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