working at hooters...?

Question

i recently got a job at hooters since there is one that is just opening about 5 min from my house. my boyfriend HATES the idea of me working there, he thinks ill cheat on him, flirt with guys etc. I want to work there cause all the people are super nice, the hours are perfect for my schedule with school and having time for my bf and friends. i also make good money and tips and i really need the money...i understand where hes coming from cause i do wear a little outfit and things are somewhat exposed...how do i let him know that hes the only guy for me? we've been together 2 years and live together i love him more then anything...but i want to calm his fears...is there anything i can do or say that will help? i really need this job but i also don't want it to cause problems with our relationship...should i get a new job? or let him know he has to trust me? any input would be great thanks =]

btw hes 23 and im 21

Answer 1

Oh my goodness, you're a waitress, not a stripper! Tell him to deal with it! If you're cute, it doesn't matter where you're waitressing at...guys will still hit on you, and there will still be opportunities for you to cheat. The name of the restaurant you work at won't change that. He needs to trust you.

Answer 2

If you've never done anything to cause your b/f to not trust you than the issue lies with him and he needs to find a way to handle it. Is he generally distrustful of others or did someone in his past hurt him badly and he's transferring that to you? You two need to sit down at the kitchen table and have a good long talk about this, turn off the phones, no tv, no interruptios at all. Tell him the job would really be an asset to the both of you. Tell him you've never done anything to cause him to not trust you and it's really not fair to do this to you now. How about some guidelines for the job - no going out afterwards with the other waitresses/waiters, hours that you both agree with. And if he is still really hesitant, how about a "trial" period - say 3 months - if in 3 months he sees that everything is fine and all is well, then you stay, if not, then you find a new job. You may also want to consider couples counseling to work on the trust issue because it may rear its ugly head again if you give into it now and it would most likely become more of an issue, not less of one. Good luck to you and God Bless.

Answer 3

It really comes down to something like this....money V love. If you really need the money then going on what you have stated in the question, are you prepared to put your relationship to the test?

Unfortuniately you will not be able to have your cake and be able to eat it at the same time. Studying and working can be an unwelcomed balanced, is there not another job that could possibly be like working in Hooters which is not going to cause dramas?

From what you have said, your b/f is not happy with the idea and it probably doesn't matter what you do or say he will not really change his mind unless of course you start bring home a bucket load of money (joke!!)

Answer 4

He's old enough and you've been together long enough that he should be able to trust you. How long have you been working there? Maybe after you've been there a while he'll calm down. Or maybe you could have him come in while you're working so he sees how you act and what goes on while you're at work, that might help. Other than that, I'd say just make sure you stay attentive to him and keep saying you love him and all that fun stuff. He should come around eventually, since you do need this job.

Answer 5

i'm sorry but i really think you should get a new job. the money may be good but this job will cause you so many problems. boyfriend and family issues aside, you will loose so much respect from your class mates, teachers, and future employers, practically all women and most importantly YOURSELF. i'm sorry but the world is a judgemental place.

anyway, i think i speak for a lot of women when i say i'm usually not the feminist type, but i find the idea of hooters SO offensive. dont you feel so degraded being objectified like that and basically being payed to have nice t!ts? (and no im not a bitter flat chested girl, im not bitter, or flat chested lol) i'm sure you can find a job with equally good pay and hours. i know its a bit random but telesales is really good for that kind of thing. if not, get a job in a restaurant, the pay and tips REALLY even if your making a bit less money, who cares, at least you still have some dignity!

your boyfriend should be able to trust you, but asking him to trust you (and still want to be with you) while you walk around half naked like a piece of meet 4 pervy, horny guys, is ALOT to ask. its quite reasonable for him to be concerned.

ps dont let people here make you feel like your empowering yourself by making money out of your body, or that your boyfriend is some sort of jelous obsesiv, you KNOW how it really is...

Answer 6

You can't have an affair at work! ! ! ! He should only be worried if you get home 2 hours after your shift is over, or if you didn't come home some night!

Of course you are going to flirt, how else do you expect me (35 year old married dude) to give you a $20 tip instead of the $2 or $3 you would get at another restaurant (with more clothing). And just because I give you a $20 tip doesn't mean I want to leave my wife or that I think you are anyway interested in me! ! ! !

He needs to be more secure in his relationship with you!

Answer 7

If he really cares and loves you he will understand all of your (good and valid) reasons for taking this job. Where you work is no indication of whether someone is going to cheat or not. If you really love your job then keep it. If your guy cant handle it then maybe he is too immature to have an adult relationship. Never let a man tell you what to do. And don't let him make you feel guilty. If he loves you he should be able to trust you.

Answer 8

Well I think trust is a big part of a relationship. He needs to feel that if he can trust and vice versa. I would let him know that you are only doing it for the money and no other reason. If he really feels that insecure about him ask him the alternatives to working there, what he expects you to do. Talk to him, that is the best advice I can give.

Answer 9

Well if other guys start drooling over you, then walk away and head back to your boyfriend. This remindes me of a song. It's called, She Never Lets It Go To Her Heart by Tim McGRAW. That song really talks about a guy who as a girlfriend and how she doesn't let other guys get to her heart and how she holds her love to her boyfriend. Have your boyfriend listen to the song to help. Ask him "do you trust me?". If he loves you, he'll trust you that you won't let other guys get to you. Just don't break that promiose or it can cause to a heartbreak to the both of y'all. Work at Hooters, and ask your boyfriend if he wants to come and order something while you work. I hope y'all work it out.

Answer 10

it may not matter what you say. it could be that he just doesn't want you working at a place known for HOOTERS, thus the tiny outfits and mostly male clientele. if the shoe were on the other foot, would you like it? bottom line is if you love him and want to keep him happy, find a different serving job. i work at red lobster, not the most glamorous and the outfits aren't 'cute,' but it pays the bills, and very well, i might add.
not to mention that exploiting yourself and your hooters shouldn't be the basis for a good tip. just my opinion.
good luck.

Answer 11

You are not his property and you are allowed to do whatever you want. Those are his insecurities and he needs to work that out on his own, the sooner the better. If you give in and don't accept this job because of him now, then down the road you will be compromising a lot just because he doesn't trust you and is insecure.