I need some help.?

Question

Ok, My mom and dad have been divorced for a few years and I live with my mom, but she keeps lying to me and my dad takes care of me for the most part. But My mom was for me when my dad would do some bad things. Now my dad has filed for custody of me, so who should I live with?

I have talked to them and they both say its my decision.

I want my parents back together.

Answer 1

I don't understand why you are being put in this position. My parents forced me to choose and it is a very cruel thing to do to a child. I feel for you.
Actually, if you don't want to hurt either, say so! Maybe it's time your family put you first, and put their squabbling aside.
Divorce is always hard, people don't appreciate how much children suffer. If you have no preference, refuse to play thier little games. My sympathies and I hope this works out.

Answer 2

what bad things? and what lies? that is the big question. think dads raising daughters is a real positive. don't take this in a bad way but, your mom may be needing some time on her own. they are saying it is up to and if were me, knowing what i know now, i would have picked my dad. even if it is only for a few years, go and enjoy. promise, your parents will not feel like you don't love them any less after you make your choice. When you go to the custody hearing, talk to the judge. ask "if after reasonable time, say 9 months. the arrangement is not working well, if you may go to live with the other parent? it may not be easy at first or even for awhile, just hang in ther. be a good person. you are lucky. it seems that you are very loved by both. god bless.

Answer 3

Do your parents live in the same city?

There is no reason that you have to chose really.

I am divorced and I share custody of my child with my ex.

My son spends an equal amount of time with both of us.

As adults we buried our petty differences and did what was right for our son.

He is a happy healthy well adjusted boy as a result.

We even took him to Disneyland together when he was a child, throw joint parties and have open access to both parents.

My former in-laws live in the U.K. and one of the only chances they get to see my son is during major holidays.

I could be firm and say that it is my turn to have him at Christmas but no one wins.
He does not get to see his grandma and is stuck in an out of school program because I have to work.

So we have started our own tradition.
My birthday which is in December 12 days before Christmas.

So we celebrate early before he goes to England.

Everyone is happy.

Do what you feel is best.

You need not pick one over the other and simply establish two homes. If your parents are in the same community, you still go to the same school, have the same friends etc.

Not such a big hassle really.

Good luck.

Answer 4

It's kind of hard to say without knowing all the details behind what you describe as "bad things." It doesn't appear likely that your parents are getting back together at this point, so you probably are going to have to be realistic. Who of the two is more capable or raising you the way you need to be brought up? And are they going to be there for you when you need them. I know neither one is perfect, but you need to choose the person you want to spend the most time with right now, and still visit the other when possible.

Answer 5

As sad as it may be, your mom and dad love each other in their own way, because of you, but they just can't live w/each other. It's not your fault, so I would see if you can live w/your dad 1/2 the year and w/your mom the other 1/2 if you can't pick... "Joint Custody" --The best of both worlds if you have wonderful parents!

Answer 6

Since you don't say how old you are, it's really hard to give good advice. Do they live close enough to each other that they could share custody and you could visit each of them on your time schedule? If you go live with your father, do you have to change schools? Will that bother you? Do you think your mom is lying so you will leave? Sorry I have more quetions than answers for you.

Answer 7

the sad thing is that your parents may not get back together they sound like they have already gone their seperate ways. however if your dad is the one who is being more responsible and sensible about you and the way you are raised you could be better off with him. it sucks being in this situation kiddo and you are in my prayers.what will happen if they both fight for custody of you, the court will put you where they think you should go unless you are above the state legal age to make the decision yourself.

Answer 8

I think you should sit down and think of the pros and cons for each parent, and then after a while look at the list and maybe that will help you decide which one you would rather live with. If you don't really want to choose but want to live with both of them maybe you could do a week or a month at one place and flip flop to the other after a certain period of time.

Answer 9

Your parents have problems with each other. Tell your dad to back off with the custody fight - tell him it is for his benefit, not yours. I know parents love kids and kids love parents (we want to see our parents together but some are just not meant to be) but this looks like one parent (your dad) getting back at the other (your mother) for something he can't forgive her for. Either that or he's making a severe comment about her parenting skills. You say she lies to you and he would do some bad things. They both come down on top of you like ten-ton gorillas and say, 'It's your decision.'
Tell your dad you want him in your life as much as ever and you want things to stay the way they are. But tell him in no uncertain terms to back off and get his revenge some other way and stop using you!

Answer 10

It's nice to have the final say but on the other hand it is not good to make a child choose between the two.
When I was a child and my mother asked me who I would want to live with if they got divorced I said Grandma, because I did not want to choose one over the other.
So now the question is who do you have the better relationship with? Who do you feel more at peace with? Who do you feel is more supportive of your desires in life?
There is no easy answer to your situation and you should give it careful consideration.
Good Luck!