My Ex girlfriend Kid wants to still see me??

Question

Me and my exgirlfriend where together for 3years its been about two months since we broke. I have moved out and got my own place with my new girlfriend. My ex has a son who is now 5. I've basically help raise him since 2 i have been his main father figure in his life( he does see his real dad on the weekend).Me and the son talk almost everyday when he says his prayers he calls me. One of the prayers is please let Anthony come home. Well i'm not coming home my ex says i can't talk to him anymore. But the shrink said if he wants to call and see me he sould be able to. He even wants to stay the night this weekend. i love him like he is my own and he loves me he calls me his step dad. :) Should we continue to talk or will this mess him up. Oh he doesn't want anyone to talk to his mom he thinks she is bad for talking to a new guy. Today she said he will never forget you, cause i said he will only remember for a couplke more years. I want him around i love the kid

Answer 1

I can relate to what you're asking and I am in the same exact and I mean exact situation. My ex and I got together when my older son was 3 and we broke up when he was 7 years old. My ex and my child would still communicate and go out with one another even though we were with different people. I came to the understanding that my ex was the only father figure that he had and I would not do anything to come between that because it could be devastating to my child if my ex was not in his life. A lot of people misunderstands and think maybe because my ex still wants me or vice versa that he wants my child around but that is hardly the case. There are times my ex and I would have bitter arguments and he would still spend time with my child. Love is Love and I feel that you are this child's father not biologically but in love. As long as he recognizes his real father and you don't pose a threat between their bonding I find nothing wrong with that. You are a good man and keep loving your son.I know he is a step child but you have shown that your love for him surpasses that. God bless you.

Answer 2

How difficult for you!!! First off major kudos for stepping into that boys life. As a single mom I know how hard it is to find guys who are willing to hang around my boys as well as me.

Unfortunately the mom has the last say so and if she feels too uncomfortable with her son being around you (and a 'strange' woman) then she has the right to say no.

You just do what you can on your end. Soon he'll either move on to the next guy (which is more likely to happen than not) or he'll just forget about you all together.

So sorry you have to watch him hurt like this. I do hope things work out for best for both of you.

Answer 3

Well she is the mother and you were only the boyfriend. It's bad enough that he already has to get temporary visits from his real dad. If she gets involved with another man that also gets attached to the boy what will happen then? This boy can't be being divided between so many men. I say stay away from him and let him get over you if you are absolutely sure that you and his mom won't be getting back together. You are right he is only five and he will get over seeing you in a short time if you totally stay away. Let him move on.

Answer 4

If you think you and your ex are mature enough to remain friends, then you should still be able to be a part of this little boys life. The more people who love him the better. You must first explain to him that his mother and you are no longer together and will never be together and she should find someone to make her happy.

Answer 5

The girlfriend shouldn't take you away from her son. If she was looking out for the best interest of the child she wouldn't either. That poor boy shouldn't suffer because of his mom. It seems like she is wollowing in her own self pity that she isn't doing whats right for the child. And she needs to watch out because her child is going to end up resenting her for taking away someone that he cares and loves.

Answer 6

This could very much affect the child. He is old enough to remember and will react towards what is going on around him without knowing the consequences. You and the ex will need to put your feeling aside and think of the child.

Answer 7

i think it would more damaging for the boy if you just stop talking to him not only that but really cruel! and i think that the mom needs to grow up because she is only thinking of herself to say you cant see him after you have been a part of his life. the most important part from age 2-5 that is what i understand and have been told by professionals. so i think you should continue to have a relationship with him he doesn't know that he should just stop loving you because his mom is an idiot!!

Answer 8

U need to be around for this kid...he needs u to be there for him..he has already been left by his real dad and now he is being left by u..if u dont see him and be there for him, he will think that it has something to do with him (that he is not good enough) and u def dont want him to grow up thinking that he isnt good enough so u have to find a way to be there for this kid..somehow

Good Luck!

Answer 9

this will mess him up. out of sight out of mind for a child, just slowly stop calling or answering the phone. if he sees his dad on the weekends then that is what he needs. you might want to set the example, he shouldn't have too many different men in his life at such a young age, unless its true family, not make believe uncles, this would make him not have respect for his mom or other women

Answer 10

Keep talking to him. When he is like a son to you it's kind of hard to let him go.