ok so my husband was invited to a friends wedding. i never was formaly invited to go so im not sure if they want me there. he and i have been together for 4 years and arent officially married yet but we live together and have a son with another on the way. his bestfriends invited him to a wedding for a friend of his and thiers. today they went to take him to get a tux. i had asked him if he was sure i was invited and he said of course your my wife and if i'm inviited you are invited too. i don't feel that way because no one ever asked me personally if i was going to go. i am pregnant so when they came to pick him up to take him for a tux i told his friend i didn't know what to wear because i am going to have trouble fitting into a dress. when i said it his friend kind of looked at me like with this suprised look like" your coming to?" she didnt say anything, but i just feel wierd because i wasn't actually invited. now i dont know if i want to go or should go. what do i do?
2007-03-22 08:08:47 · 20 answers · asked by heclee 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
he didn't recieve a written invitation. he just called me to tell me that we aren't going because i was right. i wasn't supposed to go. he got really upset that when they left the friend said that i can't go because we never got an invitation personally and he was just written as a guest and i was not. therefore he doesn't want to go without me. i love him and thank you all so very much for your answers. xoxo to all...
2007-03-22 08:17:32 · update #1
kunkee, what my husband and i refer to eachother as is none of anyones buisness... we aren't legally married for our own reasons. that has nothing to do, whatsoever, with the question i asked thanks for the two cents though. i didn't realize that if we weren't legally married we couldn't call eachother what we want. for the person underneath kunkee learn how to spell before speaking on something you know nothing about... he is my husband married legally or not and i am his wife... you don't like what we call eachother tell it to the judge... oh yea, thats right, it isn't a law to say you are husband and wife when you aren't... get a life... i am a very happy person and you come off to be miserable... please answer the questions in which you are asked or do not answer them at all... f u come again lmfao
2007-03-22 09:51:28 · update #2
typos and poor spelling are two different things. i am a very happy person with a very good sense of humor. people are very critical on here and it very annoying. especially when you ask a question and no one answers, yet they all have something negative to say when they don't know you from a hole in the wall... i will say this again f u come again... lmfao for those who do not know what this means. laughing my f u cking *** off. hahahahahahahahaha
2007-03-22 11:38:26 · update #3
Firstly, let me just say that I think you conducted yourself very well with regards to the wedding. I think your husband's friend was extremely rude not to invite you-and good for your husband for not attending!
I think it's ridiculous that some people here are trying to tell you what you should call your husband! You can call him your husband if you want! If you've been living together for four years, you're common law and in the eyes of the law (here in Canada anyway) you have all the same rights as those married by a minister/justice of the peace. So those idiots can kiss your ***!
2007-03-22 17:35:00 · answer #1 · answered by fuzzyblue 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The answer to your question depends on whose wedding it is. Your boyfriends best friends invited him to a wedding for a friend of his and theirs. If this was a mutual friend or a close family member getting married I would say it would be fair to make that assumption and even then I would double check with the bride to insure this is the case. Often times, acquaintances and well wishers show up at the ceremony (Church) unannounced which is ok because you’re not costing the bride/Groom any money. In contrast; showing up at the reception uninvited is unacceptable. Depending on the setup you may get there and find no seat or food for you. Remember, every guest is accounted for before hand. In my advice attend the ceremony and skip the reception unless formally invited.
Andre Murrell
2007-03-22 17:02:20 · answer #2 · answered by Andre Murrell 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How was he invited? Because if he got an actual invitation that says his name plus guest then of course you're invited. But if he just got a "hey wanna go to a wedding?" invite by word i'd have him ask the bride and groom if he's allowed to bring a guest. I'd hate for you to show up pregnant and all to the wedding and have them be like "ohh YOU came."
Some people just don't know how to word invites and don't make it clear if a guest is or isn't allowed. So in your case just to save face i really would suggest your husband asking if a guest is allowed or if they are really that tight for seats. Since you aren't officially married i can see where your confusion comes in.
2007-03-22 15:16:58 · answer #3 · answered by Dawnwalker 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What etiquette has to say is this: people married to each other are not to be invited separately to a wedding. It is both or it is neither. As for established couples, the category you fall into, it is the same. Engaged or long-term couples are to be invited together.
I would advise to call the couple and nail it down that you are coming to the wedding with your guy/husband/whatever. If they say he is expected, but not you, they are in grave error. I would expect him to decline to attend without you.
2007-03-22 15:19:15 · answer #4 · answered by danashelchan 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Personally I think they should have atleast asked you if you are going or something. Normal people would have sent an invitation that is addressed to Mr. & Mrs. ******. '
I don't know about you, but if it is someone that you realy don't get along with or talk to for your own reasons. I don't think I would want to go. And If he is in the wedding, that should have atleast sent you an invitation.
I hope everything goes well.
Good Luck With the baby by the way!
2007-03-22 15:19:54 · answer #5 · answered by Nancy Lou 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
was the invite to him and you or him and a guest? what was his rsvp for the reception? It should have been two. If you two were actually married I would say this is a no brainer, he goes you go, but you are not married, no matter what you call eachother, so he really needs to check with the BRIDE AND GROOM(why werent they the ones who invited him?) to verify who is expected.
2007-03-22 15:16:38 · answer #6 · answered by Question Addict 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
did your husband get a wedding invitation? if so what does it say.. to blank and guest, to blank an blank, or to just him..? becuase that will answer the question for you..
sounds to me like he is in the wedding party- if he is going for a tux fitting... sounds a little rude of the couple to invite your husband and not you! if i were you i would make an appearance - who cares if your were not offically invited. you husband was and you are a couple!!!
2007-03-22 15:14:58 · answer #7 · answered by stephanie 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I invited everyone "and guest" except for the couples who lived apart and I sent them all separate invitations addressed to them alone. Didn't help with the head count though. My sister-in-law's husband, who was her boyfriend at the time, replied with "2." (him and her) My mother-in-law (her mom) replied with 3: mother-in-law, father-in-law, same sister-in-law who my now brother-in-law included. Go figure.
2007-03-22 15:50:21 · answer #8 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've learned long ago never to assume anything. Especially when it comes to weddings. If your name wasn't on the invite AND there was no "and guest" on the invitation, then your not invited.
BTW, he isn't your husband if you aren't married. He only gains that title once it is official under law. Until then he is your fiance or BF.
2007-03-22 16:11:50 · answer #9 · answered by Poppet 7 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Proper etiquette dictates, "Your guest list should definitely include the spouse, live-in partner, or fiancé of your guests, even if you don't know him or her. "
It would be the height of rudeness to disclude you from the invitation, and unless the bride and groom have stated otherwise, you should assume that you are invited, also.
2007-03-22 15:26:45 · answer #10 · answered by darth_momm 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋