Do you think parents are getting too soft?

Question

What I mean is, in todays PC world, are parents becoming to much like friends instead of parents. I see to many parents who refuse to make thier kids earn anything and just hand everything out and then wonder why there kids are such jerks when they get older. Are to many of us raising a generationg of kids you expect everything to be handouts? Parents need to be just that PARENTS first and friends second. What do you think.

There are a lot of good answers here. I remember a quote I read in an article shortly before my oldest son was born...."if you kids don't say the hate you at least once you are not doing you job"

And yes, it is mosly about common sense....you do have to realize what you kids are capable of.....as was said in an answer below...you can't expect a two year old to sit perfectly quite at the table for an hour while you drink coffee and visit. There is a fine line between letting you kids be kids, being to hard and not being hard enough....I just see more and more new parents falling on the not hard enough side of things.....is sad.

Answer 1

I don't know, it depends on the situation.
I think parents need to be parents first, friends second but I also think parents have to remember that children are humans, not objects they own, everyone has opinions and feelings that are important and should be respected, no matter their age. And children are still growing/developing and parents need to understand what children are and are not capable of.

Sure if your kid spills something make them clean it up but don't expect a 2 year old to spend 3 hours cleaning up their entire room without any help.

Yes a toddler should be able to sit through a meal nicely but don't expect them to sit around silent with their hands in their lap (get them some crayons or something) and don't expect them to sit for an extra hour while you drink coffee with a friend afterwards and chat.

If ateen wants to wear black then let them, if a child wants to go to a party where there will be alcohol or no adults don't let them

I don't think it has anything to do with being a harsh dictator or being to soft and letting your kid get out of control, it has to do with common sense. Is it hurting anybody, are they taking responsability, and is it appropriate for their age.

Answer 2

I agree. I see that so much, kid's get what they want no question's asked. I do not like it and can tell you honestly that my children will not be raised that way.

Computer's are a great form of entertainment, especially for children. Before that there was video games, and before that those stupid little creatures on plastic cards. Society has got to come up with some way to entertain kids, it is as if people naturally think that all parent's are worthless when it comes to raising their children.

Also, these things are made and such a big hit because there ARE parent's out there that would rather sit their kid's in front of the television (or computer) then pay attention to them. It is very sad.

I do agree that there are too many parent's out there "raising" their children in this way. If you are not one of them though, don't feel as though you should say "to many of us". Be proud that you are a good parent. I know I am. :P

Great question, I hope you get a lot of really great answers.
Have a great day.

Kristy

(I am still waiting for the day I don't drive down the road and see a 10 year old kid walking home from school on a freaken cell phone. That bug's the he1l out of me.)

Answer 3

I completely agree. My daughters daycare was actually surprised that she said please and thank you. I was watching a program the other day. This guy is a motivational speaker that gets hired by companies to teach their employees ( generally recent college grads) manners. Stuff like work ethic, taking off hats indoors. I mean basic common polite behavior. That is really sad. I am what they call a non traditional student at a local college. It amazes me how the younger students talk to each other and play computer games during the lectures. Fine if they want to not learn but some of us are there for an education. They show no consideration for anyone else in the class.

Answer 4

I agree with you and have recently read a few articles reflecting those very thoughts. Parents these days are afraid to say no. They want their children to like them.......they are often seeking a friend relationship rather than a parent/child relationship.

Parents of yesterday said no, and often! They didnt care if their children liked them or not. That's called being a parent - even when its hard. I wince at the thought of my daughter saying to me "That's not fair! I hate you!" (thank God she's only 3, so I have some time!) - but you know what? Being a parent isnt always easy or fun. Sometimes you have to be tough and firm.....and our children will be better for it down the road.

Answer 5

I'm a parent first. Our children "earn" things. We also teach our kids by example by living within our means. We don't rush out and purchase every new gadget that comes on the market. We're teaching our kids that there is more to life than consumerism. We also have lots of fun! Work hard, play hard and a penny saved is a penny earned.

Answer 6

A good asswhipping never hurt anyone, I say. Spare the rod and spoil the child. The mother of my ex's kids had a conniption when I put the kids in time-out. Of course till I came along (and I didn't spank them) they were monsters. They would not pick up after themselves, sleep in their own bed, or eat anything other than crap. But I made a difference in who they are today by insisting on order and some discipline in my home. I only hope they learned to eat something besides chicken nuggets and dry toast. I know they DO now eat with their mouths closed which I'm sure many people are grateful for.

YES they are too soft.

Answer 7

Parents need to be parents. I am not one yet and happy about that. They are just handing over things and not making the kid earn it. Kids need to learn how to save money as well as spend it. Half the allowance should go into a save jar and half into their pocket to spend on the weekly ventures such as going to the movie or buying a new toy for themselves.

Answer 8

i agree with you though im glad we got out of the days of beatings i had many a point brought home with a good spanking or grounding by my parents. and i am perfectly fine. my child will obey the first time or will be in trouble she will be allowed to voice her opinion as long as it isnt disrespectful or hysterical if she can calmly state why she disagrees without being rude she can. parents do need to step back into a parental role i mean werent there fewer teen pregs and kids being rude with the older methods maybe we should try to blend the two and see how that works out

Answer 9

im a pre-k teacher of 15 students. half are disciplined and well behaved and the other half are spoiled and run their parents. I see this and wonder what the future holds for this generation. no discipline and getting everything that you want will lead to a distorted view of the world. i wish more parents felt the way i do about an even balance of love and discipline where what they get doesn't measure how much the parent loves them.

Answer 10

I agree 100%!!! Not only are kids being handed everything on a silver platter, but they are rude, selfish, ill behaved, lack work ethic, and so and so on. Kids have enough friends and it's sad that too many parents don't take that job as seriously as they should. We all pay for their poor parenting.