i'm 17 and my sis is 15. she's adopted and growing up she was sexually abused by her father and mom's many boyfriends (all of which are now in jail). i say she's still a virgin, and she says she's not. Your virginity is something you give away, not something that's taken from you. how can i get her to understand this. and don't say she needs counseling, because she's already in couseling.
2007-03-22 07:44:11 · 14 answers · asked by Big Sis 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
both her parents are in jail, our parents now would never let that happen
2007-03-22 07:51:35 · update #1
Wow, you are very smart for someone only 17 years old. I agree with you, but your little sis is looking at the definition of virginity in the literal sense. When she's ready to give herself to someone special (she's too young now), she'll realize that your right. Just keep talking to and supporting her like your doing, you're a great sister.
2007-03-22 07:50:10 · answer #1 · answered by Ruby 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I'd have to agree with your sister on this one, virginity is a physical state before penetrative sex takes place, and is not concerned with whether the act was co-erced or not.
Sadly your viriginty can be taken from you before you get the opportunity to give it to someone you care about.
2007-03-22 14:51:36 · answer #2 · answered by stepfordswiss 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Strictly speaking, she isn't.
I think you're obsessing over a meaningless concept.
She needs to heal from the real problem, which I hope counseling is helping her do.
Stop trying to convince her over an invented non-distinction. She's got a lot more to deal with than a silly word.
There's no reason to care about virginity. Your arguing with her is just making things worse.
You can't convince another person; they come to their own conclusions.
2007-03-22 22:09:07 · answer #3 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm sorry, honey, but she isn't a virgin. It's a nice idea, and it's good that you want to help her--and it's terrible that she was abused. I'm glad she's in counseling.
2007-03-22 14:55:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Saint Augustine wrote the following in his book "City of God"
"As long as no part of a womans mind concents the act, then she is still a virgin"
2007-03-22 15:01:50 · answer #5 · answered by Martin A Neville 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry honey, I know you mean well but your sister is right. Virginity is a physical state not mental.
2007-03-22 15:13:30 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no your viginity is not something you can only give away --who told you that? your love you give away, but virginity, a physical situation, was taken from her once she had intercourse, then she was no longer a virgin. if a 25 y.o. woman gets raped and has a baby from that rape did she have a virgin birth? no, live the truth, dear. we do not make up our own truths.
2007-03-22 14:52:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your sister can become a born again virgin.
2007-03-22 15:54:58 · answer #8 · answered by Spread Peace and Love 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its going to be hard to convince her... Perhaps YOU should speak to her counceller and find out if he/she can help..
But its difficult.. i mean in a way you are both correct.. she is right in the sense of her body and you are right in a sense of mind.
I do hope that your sisters life gets better and kudos to her for seeking help and kudos to you for supporting her
2007-03-22 14:52:14 · answer #9 · answered by Angel 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Both definitions are correct. I suggest letting her embrace the definition that helps her cope the most. In time, and with more counselling, she might change her definition.
2007-03-22 14:52:10 · answer #10 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋