I just started dating a GREAT guy. I am divorced and i have a 17 month old daughter. He doesnt have children and doesnt have any experience with them. He is very open minded to being around her and getting to know her, but I need him to understand that my life consists of zoos, aquariums, Monkey Joes and all of the places families go. We are at the very beginning of a relationship so our time spent together now is alone, but I need for him to accept this lifestyle that I lead now instead of living a single lifestyle.
2007-03-22 07:26:56 · 15 answers · asked by amanda b 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hmm.. well it seems as though he is interested in you. That is the starting block, of building a foundation. And building block two, he seems to be open minded to children. That is a bonus!! So keep finding building blocks!!
If he is the "Great" guy that your into. Then take your time, and introduce him slowly to what an "instant family" is about. I'm sure in due time, he'll appreciate it. But don't rush him, or make him feel cornered. Pressure isn't any fun...
I know what it feels like to have an "instant family" . I fell in love with my man first...we built the intimacy. Then slowly we started adding his son to the situation. And well...were married 11 years now, and have full custody of his child. And I've been told that I'm the best mom ever!
Take it easy!!
2007-03-22 07:35:48 · answer #1 · answered by Lo Lo G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your whole life is not zoos,aquariums and whatever else you do with kids. I have 3 grown up now but at some point you have to make time for just you or you'll never be able to be mommy all the time. Kids are great but you need adult company also and no just a new guy. If he understands your situation great but give him sometime to get used to it. The hardest part is over. Knowing you have a child and doing things with you both.
2007-03-22 15:00:48 · answer #2 · answered by BrownEyedGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU ALSO HAVE TO UNDERSTAND YOU ARE WITH SOMEONE NOW AND YALL NEED SOME ALONE TIME TOO SEE AFTER THE DIVORCE YOU PROBLY THRU YOUR SELF IN TO BEING THE BEST MOTHER IN THE WORLD AND YOU ARE ONE BUT LET HIM TAKE YOU TO DINNER WITHOUT BABY AND A LIL WEEKEND GET AWAY TO MAKE THE TIME TO BE A GOOD MOTHER AND A GOOD WOMAN AND YOU HAVE A GOOD MAN YOU DONT WANT TO LOSE THAT YOU MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO GET UP AND GO THAT EASY BECAUSE YOU HAVE A BABY BUT MAKE TIME FOR BABY AND YOUR MAN AND NEVER FORGET ABOUT YOUR OWN PERSONAL WOMAN ME TIME TO OR YOU WILL FIND YOURSELF BURNT OUT
2007-03-22 14:35:34 · answer #3 · answered by mocha27girl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
With time, he will get used to it. Remember to take some time for both of you, so that you can be alone. Make a balance between the two.
2007-03-22 14:30:51 · answer #4 · answered by boricua_chick_21 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're dating, you need to have "dates" that consist of time away from your daughter. Intimacy needs to be built for a solid foundation.
2007-03-22 14:30:42 · answer #5 · answered by kat4noles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you do need to make some 'adult' time which you may have been neglecting for a while.
But you also need to introduce him to 'parent life'.
I'd suggest you do things as a group more often, but be sure to make time for just the adults as well.
2007-03-22 15:30:03 · answer #6 · answered by kheserthorpe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him everything you just added to this question, he knows that you have a child already the hard part is over.. Good luck, and you will see that most men dont really care if you have a child anymore..
2007-03-22 14:31:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well if he goes with you and yoru daughter to some of those places you are going to he udnerstands... sure he'll want to do other things with just you outside of those things...but if you invite him to go with you and your daughter to thouse things... he gets it... and if he complains then he doesn't like it... try planning a zoo date and see if a) he goes b) he seems to enjoy it c) how he acts in public with your daughter... d) if he tries to show her cute zoo animals.. buys her anything... *he doesnt' have to but it'd be cute*
2007-03-22 14:31:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say you ought to tell him this and you both should remind yourselves that this is a big transition for both of you. No need to rush things.
2007-03-22 14:42:34 · answer #9 · answered by randyken 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can do is discuss it with him. Take it slow. Don't scare him off too quick.
2007-03-22 14:31:42 · answer #10 · answered by ahh_maine 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋