What do you do when your mother is a constant snoop in your life?

Question

I am about to the end of the rope with my mother. For 26 years she has always been in my business and all it does is causes fights between her and me. I know on one hand she is concerned all she wants to do is give advice, and thats ok, but just because I don't take it doesn't mean that I am rebelling. Enough is enough. The boiling point of it all is that she wants to bring my two children into the mix. She says stuff like I must not have them in my mind by some of the stuff I do, I admit I have made some mistakes in the past, but haven't we all? She has no right to bring them into it, those boys mean the world to me and always will. Lastly, she threatens me that if I don't do this or I do that, that she is going to take them away from me. First of all, you have to have alot of evidence for a judge to prove a mother unfit. Our lives are simple, through the weekday we come home, do homeowork, eat dinner, chill out, take baths and go to bed----what more can she want?

Answer 1

Are you living with your Mother? If you are then you must live by her rules or move out. You are lucky to have a mother. Maybe just maybe Mother knows best. Why would she for no reason at all threaten to take your boys away from you? This makes no sense.Where are the kids father? Is he in their lives? Let their father take care of them while you go out and party! While you are living in your own place.

Answer 2

First off, no one (including your mother) can just "take your kids away". There would need to be a lot of evidence of abuse or neglect, drug use, etc. which proves you to be unfit, and a court hearing. Assuming you are relatively normal, good mother, she has no business threatening you like that. That said, you're 26, why do you let her boss you around? When you're 16 and don't listen to mom, THAT'S rebellion. When you're 26, you have no obligation to obey her. Let her know that. Another thing-does she pay your bills? If she's helping you financially, you're probably going to have to eat a little s%&* from her. Your best bet is to get yourself in a position of being completely independent. Go to school, get a better job.

Answer 3

I can imagine how hard it would be to have anyone not mentioning your own mother questioning your ability to be a good parent. I would talk to her and address her worries as well as your own. If she is a difficult person to talk to and your conversations go nowhere let her know that your children already have a mom and they now just need a grandmother, and if she cannot except that let her know that she will not be in their lives. If you are a fit mother, no one can take your children away. The one thing that concerns me is that your thinking it takes a lot of evidence to pronouns a mother unfit. Do you really have to have a lot of evidence? Are you doing anything right now that would make you unfit? Think about that before you get angy at your mom.

Answer 4

First of all, unless you beat your children or severely neglect them, or you are drug addicted, she is not going to get your kids away from you. Second, you need to put some real distance between your mother's controlling and manipulative behaviors and you. You are 26 and are an adult. You have the right to live your life the way you want to. She may not agree with everything you do, but too bad. She cannot run your life forever. You will need to explain to her that for everyone's sake, hers, yours and the children, that you are not going to be talking to her that much and as soon as she begins her threats and controlling talk, you will be hanging up with her. Don't visit her for awhile. She is using your children as a way to control you. You really need to break this behavior in your mom. You could seek a counselor for help in this too. Again, unless you have done something serious in regards to the children, she cannot get them. Get a free consult with an attorney and ask him under what circumstances could your mother try to get the children. Always educate yourself in matters like that, so that people cannot hold your lack of knowledge over you. Best wishes.

Answer 5

I would tell her that she needs to grow up, you are a mother yourself and they are not HERS. It is YOUR choice to allow her in your children's lives, not hers. It is very difficult to get kids away from their mom. That is where they belong, and you do have to prove a mother unfit to do this.

I'm going on the assumption she's just a control freak, and you are a good mom. And yes, everyone makes mistakes. If it's a matter of her being concerned for their safety, then I get where she's coming from. But if she's just being controlling, you need to tell her you can't have a relationship with her like this, and you will not subject your children to someone who is abusive, controlling, and downright slefish.

That you care too much about your children to let them be around someone like that. Make a stand, and stick with it. If she doesn't change after that, then she never will.

Answer 6

If you're 26 years old it's about time that you told her kindly to back off. She sounds like a control freak (sorry to be so harsh on your mom) who is trying to manipulate you. You seem confident that you are doing o.k. by your kids. Have no fear, people can't just "take away" your kids. You just have to be kind but firm and tell her to let you live your life.

Answer 7

She loves you and is worried about you. You need to talke to her and go out of your way to share some things with her, instead of pushing her away. then she'll back off a bit.

Answer 8

first of all make sure u are doing nothing wrong for her to be all over ur but. second, move the heck away as far as u can!!!!

Answer 9

honey, your mother is over protective just tell her to back off your not her little girl anymore! but you are still her child.

Answer 10

deal with it, she's your mom