stay at home mom for the last few years, I have no income and have moved in with a friend for now until I can my stuff together and become secure again. Right now my son is with his dad and now dad seems a bit more relaxed since we broke up...the thing is does it make me a bad mom for leaving my son in the care of his dad until I get my ball rolling? I can see him whenever I want and I thought him staying in the family home would be best for my son right now. Am I doing the right thing? I couldnt take any more of my ex-bfs crap and had to get out...does this make me a bad mom? I am in the process of finding a place to live and getting a real job.
2007-03-22 07:23:09 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I now he will never hurt our son as the police and law are now involved.
2007-03-22 07:23:37 · update #1
Bad idea! You can't KNOW that your BF will never hurt your son.
At some point, you probably thought he would never hurt you either. Often, when the "punching bag," i.e., you...is out of the picture, an abuser has to find someone else to take his frustrations out on. And even if the police are in the picture, by the time they show up...it could be too late.
2007-03-22 07:33:54 · answer #1 · answered by kathy_is_a_nurse 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know it was the hardest thing you have had to do. It was hard for me to do the same thing. But I knew that he would never hurt his daughter! You are doing the right thing for yourself and your son. Sometimes it takes falling on your face to get you to get up, brush yourself off, and keep it moving. The only thing I would tell you to do is watch out for his father trying to get sole custody of your son. He may try to use any and everything against you so watch your back. Make sure you don't slack on getting on your feet. The time for letting your guard down and relaxing should still be in your future. Until you have your son back in your custody, or you guys decide on joint custody, there is no rest. I don't know you, but am proud of your decision to do you!!! Good Luck!
2007-03-22 14:46:26 · answer #2 · answered by Chen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, i don't think it is ok for him to stay with his dad. He saw the abusive behavior and he may follow in his footsteps if he sees that it is ok. He should see the dad lose everything - i dont know. I've never had a personal experience with abusive anybodies, so i'm not much of an authority on the subject.
I wish you good luck. I hope you get him back soon.
2007-03-22 14:49:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a job and get your life together. An abuser is an abuser. How can you feel good about leaving your son with him? You will have a hard time getting custody now.
2007-03-22 14:32:24 · answer #4 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear lady having been in your boyfriend's shoes (though I was not abusive)but with an understanding ear having been married to my true love perhaps you two are doing the right thing by your child I think who you should be thinking about is your son. However I would get him away.
2007-03-22 15:01:36 · answer #5 · answered by robert s 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wait...you left your son with the man who used to hit you? what makes you think he wont now start hitting this child? After all....he no longer has you to hit anymore...you must make sure you visit/call/e-mail that child EVERY DAY anything less can be construed as abandonment...if BF starts to get thinking he wants custody.....and that ball you are rolling???? get it together QUICKLY - you did the right thing...i know its hard to leave an abusive relationship but i think you need to get that child away from that man.
2007-03-22 14:31:11 · answer #6 · answered by motherhendoulas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG NO! That makes you a great mom! You go!!! Congrats for getting out of an abusive relationship. Alot of women can't do that! You are doing great, Good luck on everything!
2007-03-22 14:41:52 · answer #7 · answered by MyOpinionMatters 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i personally would never leave my children with a man who abused me, whether he was the father or not. If he could hurt you then hurting his child is not that much farther of a step.
Personal experience with an abusive bf for 9 years
2007-03-22 14:27:32 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get your son outta there and get both of you some help and leave him behind. BELEIVE me he won't change and next your son will be beat. I KNOW been there. GET out!! There are many safe places to go, Get away and get a job and learn to help yourself and your son if you care about him!
2007-03-22 14:28:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no it dont make you a bad mom i feel if he did not mistreat you in front of your kid or mistreat your kid that he should be able to see his baby just because you guys had problems doesn't mean that you should take your kid away...also have you looked in to having government assistance with your housing they can give you a place to stay with little or no rent while you are trying to get on your feet they can also assist with food stamps and daycare call your local housing authority and you food stamp department they will be able to help you
2007-03-22 14:34:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋