I've been dating a man for a while, i.e. we've been seeing each other for about a month and for the last two weeks or so, we've been having sex. I'm not sure if he is just in it for the sex, or it he considers me his gf. I don't want to be his f***buddy, I am interested in a relationship. In a discussion about this about a week and a half ago, he said that he's really busy and most of his relationships don't work out because of it. Then he said we'd talk about it in more detail sometime. I took this as a red flag that he's just using me, but we had a pretty good time hanging out the last few times we've been together after that (not just having sex, but hanging out as well), so I'm not sure where he stands. I don't want to scare him off by asking him if he's my bf, because maybe he's still trying to decide what he wants. I know that guys usually freak out when girls are too forward when they're not sure what they want - no one wants to be pressured into anything. What do you think?
2007-03-22 07:19:24 · 11 answers · asked by Maria 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hmm .. ok thanks for the input. He really does work alot, often stuff like 8am - 11pm and alot of the time he'll still hang out with me after work even though he's tired. Plus he usually messages me every day. So it's not like he calls me up for booty calls. We also have a bit of history, we knew each other 10 years ago and met up again.
I guess just talking to him about it is the best idea? Or next time he wants to have sex say I'm 'not in the mood'.
2007-03-22 07:38:16 · update #1
If you're interested in a relationship, don't sleep with someone you've only dated for 14 days. If you can't talk to a man about a relationship for fear of scaring him, don't get into bed with him until you can. If you don't know what he wants, don't sleep with him until you do. If you feel having a discussion is "pressure" then go back to what he's already told you: he's really busy and most of his relationships don't work out because of it.
2007-03-22 07:24:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
For starters this is your emotions we are talking about so do not be ashamed to discuss them with him. If he freaks out then obviously he was not into the relationship enough to commit. If you are having sex with him and he is not ready to commit to you then stop having sex with him. If you do not want to out right discuss the topic with him then the next time he is wanting to have sex tell him that you are not wanting to give yourself emotionaly if he is not willing to do the same. Of course he will probably say he is emotionally involved so he can get layed so even still do not give it to him, make him wait and see what he does with the ball in his court. If he calls to get together again then just maybe he really is into the relationship not jus the sex part. Either way be ready for the ride or the fall.
2007-03-22 07:48:29 · answer #2 · answered by Rigssy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you are getting played. First of all, you both need to let each other know what you are looking for in a relationship so you don't wast each other's time. Invite him over for some private time and talk to him. Tell him that you are not presently looking for a committment but you want to know what this relationship is to him. Or, tell him exactly what you are looking for and find out from him what he wants then you can both fairly decide whether or not you want to continue the relationship. It's better you know sooner than later.
2007-03-22 07:26:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find a guy that wants to commit. he is giving you excuses of "being too busy" because he wants to keep you around for the sex (which you are giving him easily) but he still can go do whatever and whoever he wants on his free time. If he really cared for you he would make time for you... and it sounds like he DOES have time since you guys hang out a lot. Don't ask him to be your boyfriend. ask a guy that respects you to.
2007-03-22 07:24:09 · answer #4 · answered by Bex 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whenever a guy tell your a really nice girl but he's not ready for a relationship is a bunch of BS..
Stop having sex with him and see what happens. Keep it outdoors and see if he stays around. If your a nice girl then he should want to keep you around and not let anyone else have you.
2007-03-22 07:29:57 · answer #5 · answered by kaliprincess82 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are forward, and nothing is wrong with that. Ask, if he puts it off again, put him off. Don't waste your time on something who can't make appropriat accomadations for you. What happens if you guys get serious... will he be too busy for kids or marriage? Also, having sex early means nothing, I had sex with my husband 2 weeks into dating, and that was seven years ago, we have been married for five.
2007-03-22 07:24:36 · answer #6 · answered by jonni_richter 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
take sex out of the equation & if he still sticks around & you still want him, fight for him ! just be patient but also make sure he knows what it is you are looking for and what you want out of this.. oh btw if you are having sex with someone there should be nothing you are uncomfortable to speak to them about
2007-03-22 07:25:26 · answer #7 · answered by live in the magic of life 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try not having sex, but just hanging out & see his actions. Or tell him you have cramps & can't do it. If he stops coming around, then he's using you.
2007-03-22 07:25:03 · answer #8 · answered by J Doe 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you're a f*ck buddy.
2007-03-22 07:23:31 · answer #9 · answered by ahh_maine 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, you asked, his answer is as good as it gets. it's clear cut. you are a f*** buddy. good as gold. you did the right thing though by asking. at least you dont waste time and move on.
2007-03-22 07:26:01 · answer #10 · answered by blossomjade 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋