Have you lost a parent to suicide?

Question

My father committed suicied in June of 06. I'm 22 years old, and I was just wondering if you have been through a similar situation, how long does it take for you to kind of get back to normal, even though I don't think I will ever be back to "normal"

Answer 1

My mother committed suicide 46 years ago I am so sorry you never get over it. I still mourn her and I was only 4 years old. Just remember it is not your fault and there really was nothing you could do about it, when a person feels the world would be just fine without them there is no turning back. Again I am so sorry

Answer 2

My mother attempted suicide about two years ago. I'm 26. So I can especially relate. About a year ago I would have thought that it would have been better if she had actually succeeded. That sounds harsh, but she REALLY wanted to die and NOT dying only made it worse. Since, she has done a 180 degree turn and is doing wonderfully.

I feel very fortunate to be able to relate that. I recall feeling embarassed, shocked, sad, angry, and throw in relieved that she was alive. It was a LOT to deal with.

I had to realize that she wasn't sane for awhile. There was aseason of her life that she tried to deal with temporary issues with a permanant decision. That isn't a healthy out-look. Most humans are capable, when healthy, to see through the issues that they are facing and realize that there are more important matters to be attended to.

I say all that to encourage you to realize that what your dad did was because of a temporary state of mind he was in. I seriously doubt that if he had been able to get through the night that he would consider doing the same thing the next day.

That's tragic, but at the same time you can know that he didn't calculate his decision to take his life.

As far as normal goes, that may never happen. Letting go of the decision he made and realizing that there wasn't anything you could have done to prevent the choice is important. Look to your life and the opportunities you have today to help others around you. People need you and you need people.

It takes time to get over all those emotions. They will pass and hopefully what will be left is the memory of your father in his better days.

Best of luck!

Answer 3

I've never lost someone to suicide personally, but my father died when I was only 20 years old and he had been paralyzed from a stroke for 7 years before he died. You need to do whatever makes you comfortable but here are a few things I do. My father's grave is near my work and sometimes I will go to his grave and take a bagged lunch and talk to him. My father was a BIG candy eater but he had his favorites - so I buy some and take them to his grave and throw them on it so the animal can eat it or whatever. I know HE isn't actually there but I like to talk to him sometimes and I don't know why but I feel as if when I'm near his old body he's nearby. The way your father lost his life isn't as important as his value to you, he was and always will be your father.

Another way to honor your father's memory would be to volunteer at a crisis hotline or volunteer your time to a group or organization that your father liked and would have supported.

Good luck to you and God Bless.

Answer 4

My deepest condolences. My sister committed suicide a year ago. I have an idea of what you are going thru. If you ever feel a need to chat with someone who's been there, send me an email.

Answer 5

Try to go to therapy, that might help with your situation.

Sorry to hear about what happened...that was just terrible...good luck and god bless