After 18 months of chemo the tumor has return and although he's on some new experimental treatments his outlook is very poor. All of this is happening on the east coast while I live in California. What can I say to comfort my cousin, show him that I love him, and provide solice to him, his sister, and his parents?
2007-03-22 06:59:09 · 14 answers · asked by micahalp 3 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
So sorry to hear...My father died of cancer almost 13 yrs. ago and I'm still not over it.
Offer your love and support and try to enjoy the time you can with them doing the things you love.
Remember sometimes actions speak louder than the words.
I work with all kinds of oncology patients and the one thing they want is to live there live as normal as possible for as long as they can.
Just being physical present and supportive goes a long way.
2007-03-22 07:07:51 · answer #1 · answered by M A D 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Who says his outlook is very poor?..The Dr.s????
Don't discuss the matter with your cousin unless he is willing to do so, and let him open the topic.
You can be supportive by being both understanding and considerate to his needs. Where there's life, there's hope. If he is indeed terminal, there isn't anything you can do, except as I've just said, by being supportive and understanding.
I'm sorry for your family's trouble. Been there...it's a hard one.
2007-03-22 07:06:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call him and talk about stuff he is interested in, sports etc. tell him you think of him all the time and you are there if he needs to talk, otherwise keep the conversation as you would if you just called your friend to talk. The same goes for his siblings and parents. Don't be afraid to communicate because of fear of what to say. Remember siblings can be pushed aside while care is being given to the one that is ill, make sure they know they can count on you.
2007-03-22 07:06:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give him hope.
Five hundred years ago, people said the world was flat. Today, people say that if the FDA and AMA haven't blessed something, it can't be real good. Well, here's something I know to be real AND good. It's a little different take on cancer treatment--
In 1990, I had Hodgkin's Lymphoma, stage 3-B, but I've survived. My doctors were great people, but they were limited to surgery, chemo and radiation by profitable AMA treatment policy. During the year in treatment, I started learning about alternative medicine. I'm a retired engineer, and this is what I've pieced together--our IMMUNE SYSTEMS become weakened by poor nutrition, lack of exercise and reduced oxygen. Once that happens, our body becomes vulnerable to common STRESSORS. Stressors can be environmental, like viruses, heavy metals, pesticides, food additives, electromagnetic waves or pollution. They can be internal things like emotional or job stress, or poisonous people in our lives. Aging is also a contributing factor. So this means:
WEAK IMMUNE SYSTEM + STRESSORS = DISEASE (cancer, diabetes, heart disease, etc.)
Our bodies have 60 trillion--yes, trillion--cells, and there are always some mutating into cancer cells, but a healthy immune system kills them before they have a chance to get a foothold in the body.
It takes a LONG time, usually, or a high level of stressors, to weaken the immune system to the point where it won't do its job, but once cancer has formed, it will generally spread rapidly.
THIS IS IMPORTANT! There are ways to BEAT cancer that are currently being used in Europe and around the world, and there are some great books on the subject. I know because I've read about 50 of them from cover to cover. Here's a list of the best ones. Some are out of print and getting hard to find--
"The Cure for All Cancers", ISBN 0963632825
"The Cure for All Advanced Cancers", ISBN 1890035165
"A Cancer Therapy", ISBN 0882681052
"Oxygen Therapies", ISBN 0962052701
"Hydrogen Peroxide--Medical Miracle", ISBN 1885236077
"The Natural Cure for Cancer--Germanium", ISBN 0533071410
"Killing Cancer", ISBN 0705000966
"Natural Cures 'They' Don't Want You to Know About", ISBN 0975599518
I know of people whose cancer has 'spontaneously remitted' (WENT AWAY for no known reason) AFTER they went on programs of herbs and nutrition to restart their immune systems.
You and your family must look out for yourselves to stand a chance of being healthy. This is not a joke, and I'm not selling anything--just trying to help.
I am using the things I learned in those books right now to fight off a second infestation of cancer. I've been at it for over a year now, and think I'm going to make it. Use what works for you, and pass on your success. Best of luck.
AMA AND FDA--
The American Medical Association (AMA) and the pharmaceutical companies control medical law and the FDA in this country with heavy lobbying and a revolving door policy. WHY would they want to do this? It's about the money. In 2006, medicine (doctors, hospitals, researchers and pharmaceutical firms) received 2.1 TRILLION dollars--15% of the total earnings (GNP 13.7 trillion) in the U.S. This is astounding! It means MILLIONS of people worked the whole year just to pay the nation's medical expenses!! That's totally astounding, and just too big to care about individuals.
http://www.altcancer.com/vidgal.htm#hoxsey
2007-03-25 07:39:08 · answer #4 · answered by Dorothy and Toto 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Just tell him that you love him and are there for him any time he wants to talk. Make plans to fly out soon to help out the family. You will be a comfort if you stay positive, loving, and helpful.
2007-03-22 07:03:36 · answer #5 · answered by Libby 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ask him what he wants you to do to help his family and him through this difficult time. Tell him you love him and want to support him through anything. Then work to meet his desires. There really is no comfort in facing mortality. However you can best help him by listening to what he needs and wants for his family.
2007-03-22 07:05:34 · answer #6 · answered by Jim from the Midwest 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Send him a nice family photo, made just for him, with double sided tape on the back, so he can stick it up..Tell him that you and yours are all (whatever your beliefs are, "in his corner' 'sending best wishes', 'praying for him', 'sending good thoughts', etc) .I woked in oncology for years, and pictures of loved ones meant a lot to those fighting cancer.
Also, "a merry heart does as good as medicine" don't be afraid to send tasteful jokes, cards or cartoons..
Also, sending him a gift to share with his nurses, especially something very Californian, will make him feel good when nursing staff is in his room..as he can be hospitable..things like Ghiradelli, or dried or coated fruits/nuts tray, Sunkist gels, etc.
2007-03-22 19:29:46 · answer #7 · answered by Chetco 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I know in a time like this the best thing to do is just be there.
It's very depressing to be at a hospital alone
2007-03-22 07:07:14 · answer #8 · answered by thisgirl 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that you are praying for him and you are also thinking about him. Also, tell your cousin that you are there when he needs someone to talk to just about anyone, especially you. He needs his family and friends now more than ever.
2007-03-22 09:42:40 · answer #9 · answered by Roxas of Organization 13 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for him. Even if it's via phone, email, or mySpace. Reminisce about the good times together.
Best wishes to you and your cousin.
2007-03-23 01:20:05 · answer #10 · answered by Char 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋