This is the thing, Ive been friends with a girl that I known for 5 years, its hasen't been close , but we have known each other for a long time. She lives 4 hours away from where I live in Phoenix.I recently chatted throught instant messaging and I have found out that She Likes me a lot. I like her a lot too! Should I ask her to be my girlfriend on the internet or should I just wait till she comes back to phoenix in three weeks and tell her in person? What do you think I should do? Girls or anybody help me!?
2007-03-22 06:46:12 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i'm a guy and I say no, you're already on the friend ladder
2007-03-22 06:48:30 · answer #1 · answered by www.japanvideogames.com 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Dearest Samuel,
Dating a Friend...Good or Bad Idea?
"The same man cannot be both friend and flatterer" (Benjamin Franklin).
This is one place that I will always advice everyone to think carefully about before jumping into it, especially if you are thinking of starting something with a friend you've known for a very long time. To begin with don't even think about dating a friend except you are dead serious on a long term relationship, by long term I mean something that could eventually lead to marriage.
From my experience, dating a friend is something you should avoid if you can. This is because of the aftermath. Some friendships can withstand the break-ups, even becoming stronger as you both learn things about yourselves you didn't know before. Though, majority of friendships are ruined because of the tension and uncomfortable environment created from the break-up.
It is important to remember that it is really hard to find a good friend. You may be thinking, isn't it also equally important to have a good friendship with your partner? Yes, it is important but you should realize what you are embarking into is very risky. Is it worth losing that friendship forever for the chance that you and your friend MIGHT have something?
I personally wouldn't even think of dating a friend again. I have had both the positive and negative aftermath, one which I now have a better friendship with my friend and the other which we just don't talk anymore. My negative aftermath has been the greater lesson, I don't think it is worth losing a friend over the chance or possibility of the real thing, especially if the probability is not high.
So what is the solution? There is really none but of course, seriously thinking about it before beginning a relationship. By this I mean both parties communicating, are you willing to risk your friendship in the hope of finding something real. If your answers are yes, then you are both pretty certain there is something there and I myself will say it is worth taking the risk.
Now don't misunderstand what I am saying, which is dating a friend is not the best idea. However, having a solid friendship with anyone you date is a good idea and an even better starting point. The key to any lasting relationship is friendship. Friends communicate with each other, share almost everything or at least those things that need to be shared. A lot of people only focus on the romance forgetting the importance of friendship.
Building a good friendship with a potential partner is important. You will both learn a lot about each other, your likes and dislikes, thereby satisfying your mental, emotional, physical and other needs. In this way, you will have the ingredients of a lasting relationship, the friendship and the romance.
Wait untill she comes to visit and let her know you have a suprise for her (YOU and your everlasting LOVE!) and that is all you have to say about that.
Examining your Heart's true desire may lead you to some surprising conclusions.
Sencerely,
SuperDave
2007-03-22 07:16:42 · answer #2 · answered by SuperDave 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think that because you have been friends for so long you should at this point feel comfortable talking to her about things. So, when she comes to visit I think maybe you should sit down and let her know how you are feeling. I mean if you arent certain how she will react then maybe do it in a joking manner and see how she reacts then. But, because of the fact the two of you have known each other for so long no matter what this should not effect any friendship you have! And, it may be a really positive thing that the two of you have been friends for so long!! I say go for it (and this is coming from a girl...I think I would be flattered no matter what!)
2007-03-22 06:57:08 · answer #3 · answered by tanya 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Tell her in person! Definitely! Asking someone out on the internet is lame, lame, lame. It's a big turn-off to a lot of girls because it makes it seem like the guy has no guts. Show her you've got courage and ask her when you see her in person. It will also make it more official, rather than just a little internet fling thing, haha. Good Luck!
2007-03-22 06:50:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
create a romantic evening and be honest and open. Let her know how much she means to you and that you would like to make the relationship stronger and ask her how she feels. Let her know you want the relationship to become serious, always making sure to find out how she feels about the relationship. Be honest, and express your feelings, I am sure she is waiting for your first move and she may be feeling the same way. Good Luck.
2016-03-28 23:48:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should definitly ask her in person. In person is always more romantic and she will feel better about it. Also on the internet the things that you say are easily twisted and turned around to haunt you. In person you can say what you really mean. Also - FIVE years and you still like each other... GO FOR IT!
2007-03-22 06:54:00 · answer #6 · answered by Raizy 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
That was a horrendous answer, "friend ladder" guy!
If you really see the potential relationship is something you want more then a long distance chat buddy then DO IT! but in person, DEFINITELY in person... thats a better story to tell down the line ;)
2007-03-22 06:54:27 · answer #7 · answered by Margarita 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
glad to hear she likes you too....i would wait till you see her in person and ask her if she wants to go out with you...as her boyfriend..therefore she and you don't see other ppl. Long distance relationships can work if you work hard at it. But definately wait till you're face to face and see what her take is on it...GoodLuck*
2007-03-22 06:50:32 · answer #8 · answered by friskymisty01 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
awww, go for it! say over the internet that ud like to meet up and then meet her in 3 weeks and ask her out!!
cute, hope it works out well!!!
xx
2007-03-22 06:52:30 · answer #9 · answered by lalala 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
just wait but keep in talking to her and make plans for when she getts back like going to see a movie and other things.
2007-03-22 06:50:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I say yes, whats the worse that can happen, she can only say no. think about it, its not the end of the world is it. Best of luck mate, hope it goes your way.
2007-03-22 06:52:40 · answer #11 · answered by pingujones2007 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋