my husband and i have 16 kids (8 [ 5 his , 3 adopted] from his side, 5 [ 3 mine, 2 adopted ]from my side, and 3 [1 ours, 1 adopted, 1 foster care] from after we married), and also my niece and nephew are living with us for a while. they range in ages from 10 mo. - 19. We were recently at the childrens shelter to see about adopting our 16 year old foster son, when we met a child (with a past I'll fail to mention) there named Brittany. She was 13 and i just wanted to wrap her in my arms and tell her that nobody would ever hurt her again. i know it's not possible to take in every orphaned or hurting child in the world, despite the fact that if i could i would, but should we consider taking her in. Money and room is not an option. we have plenty of both to care for our kids. but i don't know how the others would respond. my husband feels the same way i do, but is still a little unsure. opinions, thoughts?
2007-03-22 06:42:40 · 29 answers · asked by luv my kids nasty comm. unwanted 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Who cares what other people think, if you can do and you enjoy it why not......
2007-03-22 06:47:18 · answer #1 · answered by troble # one? 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
All of you are a family. Set a time for everyone to sit down and discuss this. Explain that you want to offer her a home as well. Make it clear that you wanted to talk it over with them first because you're one big family and this affects everyone; that their feelings are important to you. I'm sure they will be more than willing to say yes, bring her home.
If there is some opposition, get to the bottom of it in a fair and respectful manner. One of the younger children may think that you care for the new girl more than them. Explain to them how you feel. They may just not be old enough to understand that you have so much love for everyone, but once you explain it, then they will understand.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. You and your husband definitely have love in your hearts to have such a wonderful family. The older kids are to be commended also as I'm sure they pitch in and do their part in such a large household.
If you make the decision to bring her home, let us know in the forum or blog!
2007-03-22 06:55:54 · answer #2 · answered by angelpoet04 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I would do it, adopting is an awesome option. my (now) 15 year old sister is adopted, my parents adopted her when she was 9, she's such a great kid and every time I see her, she gives me a hug and thanks me for being "Such a great older sister." she had a bad past (which I'm not going to say anything about) but she's doing so much better now and she's a normal kid now.
My brothers and I were old enough to actually have an opinion on whether we were ready to have another kid in the house. (I was 17 at the time, my brothers are even older then I) I'm SOglad we gave my parent's a positive response, I can't imagine my life without my sister. She's one of my best freinds.
2007-03-23 05:18:38 · answer #3 · answered by SVU fan for life 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations to you and your husband, you are 2 of the few remaining in the country that understand and teach family values, and I assume honor, along with respect, and a good heart to top it off. If I am correct, you have by now instilled into your children that giving of ones self is the greatest gift of all, and somehow you will be able to help them welcome this child into the family, If there are other concerns, perhaps there is some way you can sponsor this girl, and she can live elsewhere that you could help her while monitoring her growth and healing process, stay close, help her know there always those who care.
2007-03-22 07:07:38 · answer #4 · answered by Heather 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you've already made your decision. You'll never know how the others will respond until you talk with them.
Honestly, what's one more potato in the pot? The worst that could happen is that pot overflows, but it just sounds to me like it'd overflow with tenderness and compassion.
One thing concerns me, though. Even if you take "Brittany" into your home, you cannot guarantee that "nobody will ever hurt her again." The best you can do is offer patience, support, and guidance, so she knows she's got a place when she is hurting.
Good luck.
2007-03-22 07:02:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all i just want to say to you that what you and your husband are doing for these kids is wonderful. The world should be full of people like the two of you.
If I was you I would talk to my other children first, Explain to them that this girl needs a family that will love her and wont let anyone hurt her.
2007-03-22 07:01:50 · answer #6 · answered by jonnyrottensgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If circumstances led you to this child, then there is a reason for it. Follow your heart and LISTEN to your inner self. If you enjoy raising children, then you should adopt her. Children are true innocents, and each one will teach you something. I think she deserves in some way to enter into a loving household.
Honestly, who cares what others think of you? More than likely, you won't see strangers again, and if they have a problem with it, then they haven't evolved their viewpoints and have a few lessons to learn in this lifetime about not judging others.
I hope you do adopt her
Namaste
Zac
2007-03-22 06:53:38 · answer #7 · answered by deadwhisperer 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you can take this kid in to your home and your lives and change her life for the better - I say do it!! There's a special place for people like you. =)
Sit down with your existing children and explain that this girl REALLY needs your help and the love of siblings and ask them if they'd mind one more. If anyone has a serious objection (other than the "I don't wanna share my stuff" thing.) that can not be worked around, then go with the majority vote.
Good luck and God Bless.
2007-03-22 06:51:48 · answer #8 · answered by zippythejessi 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are a wonderful, caring mother! We need more people like you in the world. If you know that you can provide for this child's physical and emotional needs, then you just need to sit down and explain to your other children why you are taking her in. I'm sure they will understand, and will learn from your kind heart. I would love to hear what happens with you and your family! mama2kaydence@yahoo.com
Best of luck, and I hope you do decide to take that little girl into your home and hearts!
2007-03-22 06:49:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have a family meeting and ask the other children about it. The only opinions that should matter are those in your household. No one from the outside should be able to weigh in. If your children are as grateful as they should be that you have taken them in, then they should welcome another unloved child into the household with open arms.
I think what you and your husband are doing is wonderful and if you feel like you can handle another child and every one in the home is open to the idea, then I think you should do it.
2007-03-22 06:55:27 · answer #10 · answered by nana4dakids 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You guys sound like amazing people. And you obviously are trying to do everything you can to help children in need. Who cares what other people think? Did you care what they thought 5 children ago? 10 children ago? 12 children ago? So why care now?
You have to do what is right for your family and you guys as the supporters.
Follow your hearts and you will know what to do
2007-03-22 06:51:47 · answer #11 · answered by foolnomore2games 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋